Lightning War
by sweetangel202
Summary: A story revolving courage, kindness, hardship, and the astonishing power of love. "Lighting War" opens in the early stages of World War 2 during the devastating bombing raids on England major cities. After assisting refugees off the bus, Esme Cullen finds a little girl abandoned on the back seat, fast asleep. Unknown. Stranded. And a true adventure awaits them.
1. Chapter 1

It was September 1940 and I stood awaiting for another load of buses to arrive as the nighttime bombing raids against London and other British cities have just begun. The raids followed the failure of the German Luftwaffe to defeat Britain's Royal Air Force in the Battle of Britain. The unfortunate cause has now left enormous destruction and heavy civilian casualties- thousands of British civilians have either sustain devastating injuries or worst... death.

I shuttered as I thought of the word and repeatedly twisted the ring around my wed finger. Carlisle had decided to volunteer at the "refugee camps" in order to provide medical care for those who need it. I was in awe at his decision to give up part of his time to help the war efforts. I later decided to attend these events with him, however, I wasn't quite use to seeing such horrific downfall as my husband was. It was only a few weeks ago that a bus load of families came in right after the bombing occurred. Their skins were covered in dark ash and it was difficult to identified who was what gender. And then a little girl walk in with her mother who carried a dead baby in her arms. The mother obviously distraught tried to seek help by screaming on the top of her lungs that her baby needed assistance and her husband couldn't get off the bus. I had ran to her side and notice that the baby was deceased and tried to comfort the mother the best I could. However, she was hysterical and kept sobbing, "please my baby. My baby. Oh my husband. Please help. Why won't anyone help me! Help!" Later on, Carlisle and a few other doctors had to sedate her with whatever medication they could get their hands on. When I mention the husband to Carlisle, he check the buses to make sure no other passengers remain in their seat and that's when he found... the husband. Dead in the back row on the ground. The bus must of been so crowded that no one notice that he was slowly bleeding to death from a injury behind his head. Carlisle had also notice that some of his fingers were blown off and a foot. How on earth did that women manage to drag her half dead husband on the bus without anyone offering help or noticing that he was missing some limbs? The thought was beyond what I could ever imagine.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the worst of the story.

The worst of the story is that afterwards when the women finally came to her senses, one of the doctors had calmly explain to her that her husband and baby was deceased. She didn't quite take the news very well which was expected. I can't imagine what pain she must of felt during that moment knowing that she lost half of her family due to the raids. But instead of taking the time to soak everything in or even think about her other child, she walk to the third floor building and somehow jump off the roof. She died instantly and left her daughter motherless.

And that's how we obtain Alice into our house.

We had already taken a few other refugee children, but I think Alice's story has been one of the hardest for me to bear. I took a couple of days off and distance myself for some time before coming back and getting myself into another load of evacuees.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Carlisle ask.

I nodded my head. "Positive."

I was honestly so in deep with my thoughts that I hadn't notice that he was standing next to me with a clipboard in his hand. After Alice, we began to take the names of the people who came in and check the buses for anyone whose stranded or possibly confused on where to go. Typically, Carlisle took care of searching for any missing person, but I decided to take on the task so he could focus more on treating patients than running back and worth through all the buses.

"Alright. Here is the clipboard. Renee has another one and she going to take down the names of all the people who come in. You are responsible for searching the buses and making sure everyone gets off. If there's any confusion or someone missing or alone just write it down and we will make sure to investigate so they can be with their families." He explain.

"Got it chief."

He smiled and pulled me into his arms. "I love you."

"I love you too." I beam up at him.

He lean down and pressed a gentle kiss upon my lips. It was so tender yet passionate as our lips began to move together. Kissing Carlisle was a dream. One that I did not want to ever wake up from. But of course we heard the buses roar as they drove over the muddy gravel and to the station. Carlisle pulled away, but still left a kissed on my forehead.

"Good luck." He said.

"You too."

The first bus halt and open it's doors to at least thirty civilians rushing out of it like some sort of mob. Renee tried her best as she quickly took down the names of everyone trying to get inside. All were so frantic although it was very safe here. I boarded the first bus and walk down it's rows twice before noting that nothing was left behind other than a pink baby boot and someone hat. I got off and waited for the second bus. It came and I continue the same ritual as I did for the next couple of buses. On the fifth bus, there seem to be at least forty people boarded (more than usual) and it was difficult to convince everyone that it was safe to get off. Finally, I was able to get the last couple of people off the bus and I check the rows to ensure that no one else was left behind. I walk to the back seat and notice something strange. On the edge of the aisle was a piece of blonde. Almost like a lock of hair. I furrowed my brow and bent over to find a small child sleeping on the floor.

_What the bloody hell... _

I shook the child shoulders, but she didn't even flinch. I began to grow worried that possibly she was decreased until I notice her chest slowly begin to rise and fall. It was obvious that she was breathing which meant to had to be alive. I gently scooted her from underneath the seat and carried her outside. Her hot sweaty cheek pressed itself against my bosom and she laid limb in my arms. I hurried over to Renee who was struggling trying to get the names of everyone who was frantic and pleading for help.

"Renee!" I called out.

"Oh thank god." She breathed. "Please tell me that you're here to help."

"Not a chance. But I found a child underneath one of the seats on the bus." I told her.

She rolled her eyes. "Esme does it look like I have time for this bullshit?"

"Renee she was all alone. Someone here must be her parent. Did anyone forget their child?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I'll write it down in my notes, but so far no one has said anything about a missing child on this bus. Maybe go around and see if anyone recognizes her."

"Alright." I sighed.

I walk in the front doors and turned the corner to the big open area where many of the refugees found shelter and a place called home for the next couple of days until they could move else where. I paced around the building with the sleeping child in my arms trying to find her owners.

"Is this anyone daughter?" I shouted. "Please! This little girl is all alone!"

"Esme!" Carlisle called out. "What on earth are doing here sweetheart?"

"This poor child was left all alone on a bus and I can't seem to find her guardian."

He looked down at the girl in my arms. "They should be around here somewhere. Have you ask Renee?"

I nodded my head. "She said no one has complain about a missing child. I've gone everywhere asking if anyone recognizes her."

"That was mighty brave of you sweetheart. I'm very proud of you." He grinned.

"I just couldn't leave her there."

"Of course not." He agreed. "Unfortunately everyone running around like their heads were cut off right now. Maybe give it some time so everyone can calm down. Until then.. I better have a look at this little one just to make sure she okay."

He took her from my arms and set her down on a nice clean cot. She didn't wake not even when he gently lifted her head to check for any bleeding or bumps. Carlisle was able to find a small bump on the back of her head and said it was probably from the bus ride here. He couldn't tell for sure whether if she had concussion yet until the child woke up. We tried to shake her gently, but she only open her eyes once and then went back to sleep with her thumb in her mouth.

"Oh please." Renee storm over. "Let me show you two how it's done."

She stood the child up so she was sitting straight up and force her thumb out of her mouth. She shook her again until slowly the child woke up. Her bright blue eyes pop open and search the area for any familiar faces. Once she notice that she wasn't near her mother or father, she began to cry sudden tears and kick her little legs hard against the bed.

"Where's mummy?" She panic. "Mummy? Where's my mummy? I want mummy!"

"There there." Carlisle soothed the child. "How about we start with your name. What's your name sweet girl?"

"Rosalie." She muttered underneath her breath.

"And what's your second name?" I ask.

"Rosalie." She said again. "Rosalie Hale."

Carlisle smiled. "It's nice to meet you Ms. Rosalie Hale. My name is Dr. Cullen and this is my wife Mrs. Cullen."

"How do you do?" The child politely ask.

It surprise me a little that such a small child would know how to act so mannerly in public. Most children her age aren't that polite especially in a state such as this.

"Well at least she ain't a brat like the rest of them." Renee spat. "I'm going to go check the list and make sure I got everything."

She walk away and I could tell that Rosalie was quite taken back from her.

"Oh no don't mind her." I said. "She just being a pest. By tomorrow, she'll be back to rainbows and sunshine."

Rosalie chewed on her thumb. "I like rainbows."

"I bet you do." Carlisle chuckled. "Now Rosalie how about you tell me about mummy, hmm? Where is mummy?"

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno. She told me to get on the bus and she would find me later when another bus would come for her."

"Did she ever get on another bus?" I question.

Rosalie yawned and her eyes droop a little. She shrugged her shoulders again and cried out in tiredness.

"I just want to sleep." She sob. "I-I'm so tired and my head hurts."

Carlisle check her one more time and finally confirm that she did indeed sustain a small concussion. Rosalie mention that while her and her mother were running to the bus stop that she somehow manage to fall and hit her head on something metal almost like a light post that had fallen over. Her mother pick her up by then and shoved her on the bus.

"What are we going to do?" I said to Carlisle. "We can't just leave her here all alone."

"No. I'm afraid we can't." He sighed. "I suppose we should take her home and we'll try to sort this out in the morning."

"Will we have a enough room?" I worried.

Carlisle grinned. "Now Mrs. Cullen don't you start to worrying. We will figure it out. That I can promise."

And with that, he took the small girl in his arms and we walk back to our house. There was enough doctors at the camp that Carlisle assistance was no longer needed for the night, but he made sure to ensure the others that he would come back in the morning and take some of the load off their chest. We enter the house and our maid, Mrs. Uley, greeted us at the door.

"My are you two saints for taking in so many children." She commented.

"Hardly." I told her. "We're just doing what it is needed in order to help the war."

She beam. "Saints Mrs. Cullen. The word is saints."

Rosalie came in and out of conscious as we set her down on the couch and Mrs. Uley went off and fetch her some hot tea and a slice of bread. The child look like she was practically starving and maybe a little bit of food in her will help make her feel somewhat better.

"My such a pretty little thing." Carlisle spoke.

I exhaled a breath. "I can't imagine why anyone would just leave her there."

Mrs. Uley came back with the tea and bread for Rosalie. I sat her on my lap as Carlisle brought the cup to her lips and handed her the buttered bread. She chewed slowly at first before devouring the piece right in front of our eyes.

Carlisle chuckled. "You must of been hungry."

"Mummy never gives me bread. She said it'll make your butt grow fat!"

"Why I never." I blushed. "Why on earth would your mother say such a thing? Especially to a child?"

Rosalie tiled her head. "I'm not sure."

"Well.." Carlisle tried to hold back a laugh. "We will not tolerate such language in this house. Understood?"

Rosalie nodded her head and finished her cup of tea. We took her upstairs to our bedroom where Carlisle allowed her to sleep on his side of bed while he took a pillow and a blanket to the dressing room.

"That won't be very comfortable." I told him.

He set up his make shift bed. "No. But I think it'll be better if she sleeps next to a women. Might be for comforting than a man. It'll only be a for a couple of days dear until we can find her family."

"I know." I muttered.

He stood up from the floor and circle his arms around my waist. We've only been married for almost a year now, but it's felt so long since I've slept without Carlisle right next to me. It's strange not cuddling into his arms at night as he holds me while we sleep.

"So stubborn Mrs. Cullen." He snicker.

I raised my brows. "Am not!"

"Oh you are too." Carlisle rubbed his nose against mine. "But I suppose it's one of the many things I love about you."

"One of the many?" I teased.

He chuckled and kissed me goodnight. I slid in bed next to Rosalie and watch as the little girl slept peacefully. She only woke up once during the night and that was to go to the bathroom. I assist her in her needs and then carried her back to bed where she slept on my chest for the remainder of the night. I woke back up around six thirty (the typical time that I get up in the mornings), but Rosalie was still asleep and I didn't want to wake her. I laid still in bed, hoping that she would get up soon, however instead, I ended up falling back to sleep. I felt a hand on my head an hour or so later and fluttered my eyes open. It was Carlisle staring down at me while stroking my hair.

"Look's like you two had a pretty good sleep." He smiled.

I yawned. "I didn't want to interrupt her sleep. She seem to need it."

"You seem to need it as well."

Rosalie finally stirred in my arms until she open her eyes and gave us a big yawn and stretch her chubby little arms out.

"My my." Carlisle chuckled. "Such a sleepy girl."

"Good morning darling." I beam.

For a short moment, it almost felt like we were some sort of family who had just gotten up together for the morning. It made my heart slightly swell as I thought about it more. Carlisle and I had talk about children in our early stages of marriage. It always seem like there was some pressure with our family members to start making babies once we said "I do". But I had actually decided that I didn't want children which took Carlisle back surprise. There isn't anything wrong with children. In fact, I was always fond of my siblings growing up and often cared for the children around the neighborhood. For some reason, I just didn't have a desire to have any of my own. It's a major responsibly and I was only twenty one while Carlisle had just turn twenty nine. I think it disappointed him a tad that I didn't feel the need to raise a baby, however, he still agreed to marry me children or no children. Carlisle was enough for me and I didn't want to share him with anyone else. He was mine and I was his and I was content with just that.

It was a sweet thought though...

I slowly began to rise up from the bed with Rosalie still in my arms. Carlisle had left the room in order to give us some privacy while we changed. Rosalie sat on the edge of the bed and watch me switch my nightgown out for a beautiful elegant blue dress with black silhouettes. She almost seem in awe when I let my long caramel locks out of the bun I had created the night before.

"May I brush your hair?" She ask.

"Brush my hair?"

She eagerly nodded her head. "Mummy and I always took turns brushing our hair. She said I have a gentle touch!"

"I suppose." I chuckled. "As long as you let me brush through your tangles."

I gave her the brush and sat on my knees while she gently ran the brush through my hair. Her mother was right. She did have a very soft touch even when she reach the ends of my curls. Afterwards, she return the favor and allowed me to brush through her messy tangled hair. She was defiantly a beautiful child with bright blue eyes, chubby cheeks, freckled nose, and long blonde hair. I can't imagine what her parents must look like. They have to be some sort of goddess and god in order to produce such a lovely child such as Rosalie.

"Are we going to find mummy today?" She wonder.

I bit my bottom lip. "Hopefully. But first we must get you out of these filthily clothes. They are truly dirty."

I rummage through my drawers for something that Rosalie could wear until Mrs. Uley wash her clothes. One of my neighborhoods down the street lend me some of her daughters clothing when we took in Alice. I was hoping that possibly her small daughter would be the same size of Rosalie, but I think Kate is a tad older than what I thought she was. I pulled out a pink dress with puffy sleeves and pulled it over Rosalie head. The dress sank down to her feet so I had to take a small ribbon and tie around her waist so it wouldn't shrink so low to the ground. Thankfully, Carmen also gave me some knickers that fitted perfectly round her waist and I could have the original ones wash as well.

"I look like a loaf of bread!" Rosalie shriek.

"I thought your mother wasn't fond of bread?" I teased.

She playfully grinned. "No, but I am."

I laughed. "Naughty little girl. I suppose we could bend mother's rules though until we find her. I'm sure Mrs. Uley has some fresh bake bread if you wanted toast for breakfast."

The little girl was jumping up and down at the thought of having toast for today's morning meal. I took her hand and led her downstairs to where the other children where patiently sitting at the kitchen table. We have already taken in four other children so far. There was Emmett and Edward which belong to Mr. and Mrs. Masen who escape the devastating effects of the raids in Birmingham. Afterwards, Mr. Masen was drafted into the military while Mrs. Masen seek shelter and refugee at her sister house in Liverpool. Liverpool was known for some raids here and there which caused them to leave their children behind in the country. They thought it would be much safer if they got them out of the city limits so we ended up taking both boys in until their parents could take them back. Edward was the youngest, but probably the most reasonable one. At the age of nine, Emmett was very destructive and what my husband called a "free spirit." Edward had turn seven a couple of days ago and insisted that instead of giving him a birthday party... we just eat a nice meal and give him plenty of book to read for the next couple of weeks.

See... reasonable.

There was also Bella who was just a year older than Edward. Bella was a very lovely girl and I had actually went to school with her father, Charlie, back in the day. Charlie had enlisted in the air force at the age of eighteen once we graduated and decided to live his life as a bachelor. Well.. until Bella came along. He wouldn't quite say who Bella's mother was, but that it was merely a one night fling and accidents happen. I always scolded him for being so impolite especially around a lady although he promise me that it was more of her mother decision than his. Either way, I grown quite fond of Bella Swan so when Charlie had ask Carlisle to take her in while he was away at war.. I practically beg Carlisle to say yes and of course he wouldn't turn down an old friend.

And then there was Alice and I had explain her situation earlier. Alice was ten years old and defiantly the light of the party. She was very hyper for a child of her age and always begging to go out or tag along with me while I'm doing my daily shopping. If anything, she was obsessed with shopping and Carlisle would give her extra pocket money from time to time just so she could buy whatever her little heart desired. I always warned him that spoiling her was not very mannerly, but he never listen and I would catch him secretly sneaking her an extra coin or two behind my back.

Rosalie walk into the kitchen and instantly hid her herself behind me. I can't imagine how frighten it must be for a child so young to walk into such a big room with all these strangers staring at her. I tried to pull her in front of me so she could be properly introduce to the gang.

"Rosalie." I spoke. "These are the other children. There's Emmett and Edward. They're brothers. And then Bella and Alice."

"Are they sisters?" She asked innocently.

"Not a chance." Bella said.

"But we might as well be." Alice grinned.

"Hey who's the new pip squeak?!" Emmett roared.

"Now Emmett." I warned. "Don't scare our new guest. This is Rosalie Hale and she will be staying with us until she is reunited with her family."

"How old is she?" Edward question.

"Five." Rosalie muttered.

"Awww!" Alice squealed. "A baby!"

"Impossible." I rolled my eyes. "Mrs. Uley Rosalie and I will be having our breakfast in the gardens this morning. Please make sure that Dr. Cullen is aware of this when he comes down."

Mrs. Uley nodded in agreement. "Yes ma'am."

It was a tad chilly outside, possibly too cold to have breakfast outdoors. But I figure it was better than Rosalie sitting at the table with the other kids who were a little overbearing at times. It's not their fault though. They're just not use to such a little one around the house. Sometimes they forget their manners...

"Mummy never lets me eat outside." Rosalie commented. "She said that there were too many bugs."

I beam. "Well, she not wrong, you know? But Dr. Cullen and I enjoy eating outside sometimes. It's lovely to watch the sunrise."

She look towards the sun and smiled as she shoved another piece of toast in her mouth. I ate bits and pieces of my oatmeal and sip on some tea. The food rations was probably the worst part about the war. I understood why it was needed- there were so many soldiers that needed to be fed in order to be strong for what laid out before them. But I missed watching Carlisle try to flip pancakes in the morning as I laugh and try to help him. We don't usually ask Mrs. Uley to cook for us since she does so much already, however, with the four extra people added to our household I required a little bit more help in the kitchen.

"Well there you are!" Carlisle said in a cheerful tone.

I chuckled. "Good morning darling."

He kissed my cheek and ruffled Rosalie hair. "How is the little rascal doing?"

"I'm not a r-rascal!" She frowned.

He laughed. "Of course not my lady, I do apologies. A beautiful girl such as yourself must be a princess not a rascal! How mistaken I was!"

Rosalie delightfully giggled as he bent down and kissed her hand. He join us at the small outdoor table and drank his tea while he munch on a piece of toast.

"What's on today agenda?"

Carlisle set his cup of tea down. "Today we are on a quest!"

"A quest?" I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Yes! A quest to find the princess her queen and king!" He announced.

"Mummy!" Rosalie eyes lit up. "We're going to go find mummy!"

"You bet your little heart honey bear!"

"Honey bear?" She tilt her head. "But I thought I was a princess?"

I tried not to laugh. "I think you're confusing her now darling."

"Mrs. Cullen doesn't enjoy being called honey bear either." He said.

I huffed. "I never said that. I just rather not be compared to a nasty bear."

"She the beast!" Rosalie shouted. "The evil dragon who lives in the cave!"

Carlisle snickered. "Oh no not my Mrs. Cullen. She is my fair maiden. The most beautiful maiden that the land has ever seen."

I felt my cheeks turn hot red. "You're making me blush."

"That's what a shinning knight in armor is suppose to do." Rosalie grinned.

"It's what any gentlemen suppose to do." Carlisle corrected her.

She furrowed her brow again. "What's a g-gentlemen?"

"I'll explain later when you're a tad older."

A little while longer and Rosalie excused herself from the table while we clean up the mess left behind from breakfast. I pick up the plates and put them together while Carlisle got a little side track and wrap his arms around my waist.

"Now Carlisle." I spoke. "Don't get too attach. She not ours."

"I know she not ours Esme." He snorted. "I'm just trying to make sure she comfortable."

"A little too comfortable."

"Mmmm." He hummed. "Maybe you are the dragon after all?"

"Excuse me?" I turned around.

He grinned and kissed my forehead. "Nothing my dear."

And before I could open my mouth again, he took it upon himself to fleet the castle and seek shelter somewhere else.

"What a night.." I muttered.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rosalie what happen to daddy?" I asked.

Rosalie shrugged her small shoulders. "I don't have a daddy."

"Excuse me?" I was a tad shock. "Everyone has a daddy."

She shook her head. "Not me. Mummy says that sometimes you don't have a daddy. Just a mummy."

I turned to Carlisle who shifted awkwardly in his seat. We drove to the refugee camp in hopes that we would find Rosalie mother so they could be reunited. Gas was rare these days and we didn't usually drive unless we just had to, but Rosalie never drove in a car before so Carlisle insisted that we give her this one last final experience. She sat in the back seat, enjoying the ride and looking out the window. Once in a while, she would point out the horses and the sheep as we drove by. Carlisle was so tickled that she was having so much fun.

"Are you sure you don't want to have-"

"Positive." I said.

He sighed and pulled into the refugee camp. He open the car door for me and then afterwards help Rosalie out of her seat. She was practically bouncing up and down as we both took her each of her hands and walk inside.

"I can't wait to see mummy!" She exclaim.

Carlisle grinned. "What does mummy look like?"

"Mummy beautiful!" Rosalie told us. "She has hair like mine and her eyes are blue too!"

"That shouldn't be too hard to find."

Oh but how wrong we were...

There must of been at least a hundred evacuees seeking shelter at the camp. I can't even begin to count how many blue eyes blondes we past that Rosalie didn't even recognize. After an hour of looking, the little girl began to fall out of patience.

"Where's mummy!" She whine. "You said we would find mummy!"

Carlisle sighed. "Now Rosalie I'm sure mummy is somewhere. We just have to look very closely. Are you sure you don't see her?"

She stomp her little foot. "I want mummy!"

We walk past Renee who was nose deep in her clip board and look like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"Help out they said." She repeated to herself. "It'll be great they said."

"Renee?" I called out.

She jump a little. "Jesus Esme! Could you be any quieter than a mouse?"

"She always been very graceful." Carlisle smirked.

Renee snorted. "Keep it up and I'll tie a cow bell to your neck."

"Renee." I rolled my eyes. "We're trying to locate this girl mother."

"Still?" She said in disbelief. "By now I'm surprise you just haven't adopted the poor thing."

"Has anyone came forth and claim a missing child?" Carlisle ask.

Renee checked her clipboard. "Nope. Nothing here about a child missing. I suppose either they left without her or she an orphan."

"She can't be an orphan." I spoke. "She said her mother put her on the bus and then waited until the next available bus came to pick her."

"Esme there was only five buses." Renee face grew very serious. "The little girl was on the last bus that came to pick up any one left which means the mother couldn't have..."

"Darling maybe we should head back home. Rosalie growing very tired and I think this little lad ready for her nap." Carlisle interrupted.

"Princess!" Rosalie corrected him.

"This princess needs her nap."

I nodded my head. "Of course. I suppose we will continue this later. Thank you for you're efforts Renee."

I pick Rosalie up and she laid her head on my shoulder as we walk back to the car. I allowed her sit in the front seat with us so she could fall asleep in my arms as we made the journey back home. Once we were back to the house, Carlisle assist me by carrying the child upstairs and laying her on our bed where she peacefully slept for next hour or so. We walk down the stairs together and notice that the other children had already began their daily set of chores while Mrs. Uley busied herself by cooking lunch and also keeping a close eye on them. Carlisle and I decided to take the time to retire in the living room together on the couch where it was a little bit more private.

"What now?" I wonder.

He sighed. "I'm not sure. It's obvious now that it's impossible that her mother got on another bus. The next set of buses won't come for another week or so which means she must be stuck somewhere trying to seek shelter."

"I suppose we should ring the authorities then?"

"Such a clever girl." His face slightly lit up. "I will phone them after lunch and we will go from there."

We held hands and relax in the living room for some time before Mrs. Uley came in and announce that lunch would be serve in about five minutes. Rosalie had woken up just as Alice and Bella help set the table. Poor Mrs. Uley tried her best to cook up some old potatoes from the garden and a loaf of buttered bread. Rosalie eyes lit up instantly as she notice the bread and ran over to the table. I had to warn the small child that she will not be eating just carbs today and needed to fill herself up on something else. She pouted her small lips at first, but deductively incline later on and ate a few bites of potatoes with a slice of cheese on it.

"Why does she get cheese on her potato?" Edward cried out.

"Rosalie little and needs something a bit tastier to eat."

"That's not fair!" He whined.

"Eddy." Carlisle spoke. "It is impolite to speak in such way to Mrs. Cullen. Please apologize now."

Edward crossed his arms over his chest. "Sorry."

"Edward.." Carlisle voice was low.

"I'm sorry for using improper grammar Mrs. Cullen." He exhaled.

"Thank you for the apology Edward." I said. "You're mother would be proud."

It was very unusual of Edward to act out in such way. We were use to Emmett typical temper tantrums almost daily, but it's odd that Edward would get upset over something so small. I suppose it might be a tad imitading to have Rosalie in the household when Edward always been the "baby". The thought of a jealous Edward almost made me chuckle out loud.

"Speaking of our parents." Emmett coughed. "Mr. Cullen have you heard from our father lately?"

I hated the fact that Mr. Masen promise to telephone the boys after each raid just to ensure them that he was safe and everything was going to be alright. Although it was such a sweet gesture, it constantly put the boys on edge and I was beginning to worry that it might have caused to effect them both mentally. They've grown very anxious each time a raid hits and they haven't immediately heard from him. The last time Mr. Masen telephone he had told us that he was in Italy and thought they would be traveling to Northern France rather soon. Edward begged his father to bring him back some macaroons and ever since I've prayed each night that Mr. Masen will be able to spare his time and come home soon so he can do just that...

"Unfortunately, I have not." Carlisle answered honestly. "But I'm sure he's doing just fine. I heard that the lines are down and it will take some time before anyone can use the telephone overseas."

"Oh okay." Emmett looked disappointed.

"Cheer up Em." I said. "We must think of the positives."

He slightly nodded his head and excused himself from the table. Emmett was usually a rather happy child with an unbelievable amount of energy. He could run from the house all the way into town, touch the church walls, come back and still be bouncing up and down like he ate all the candy in the world. Which is why it was heartbreaking to see such a radiate child be so down and disappointed at times. Emmett was probably closer to his father than what Edward is. He's shared many stories of the camping trips in the woods they've gone together and the bear that his father shot down with just one single pistol. I didn't quite believe all of them, but I loved seeing the way his face lit up when he spoke about his father and I knew that it must be very difficult to have him away for so long...

Carlisle patted my hand. "Cheer up Es. We must think of the positives."

I slightly smiled and laid a kiss upon his cheek. After everyone finished their lunch, I help Mrs. Uley clean up and wash the dishes. Rosalie sat on the floor close to my legs and watch as I carefully scrub each dish. She was a very curious child and sometimes would ask a question or two every few minutes. Mrs. Uley finally got after her and told her it was highly unnecessary for a young lady to be asking so many questions.

"It's alright Mrs. Uley. Truly." I told her. "I think it's quite fascinating that a child of her age would want to be so educated."

Mrs. Uley huffed. "Educated. Nothing ever comes good when a little lady is "educated"."

I ignored her comment and scrub my final dish before picking Rosalie up and taking her into my bedroom. I wasn't offended at all by Mrs. Uley criticism and I knew she meant no harm. She grown up in a world where women were more domesticated and tend to the daily household chores instead of reading books or solving mathematical equations. It was awkward between her and I for some time before she finally accepted that I was not the typical house wife that most women were. I attended my job at the news company as a journalist every single day until the war broke out and I had decided to dedicate my time somewhere else. I think deep down inside she hoping that maybe this time away from my career will finally open my eyes and I will want to settle down with two or so children and have dinner on the table every night at five o'clock for husband to enjoy. However in reality, I could not wait to get my hands back on a type writer...

"What did Mrs. Uley mean by nothing ever comes good when a little lady is educated?" Rosalie frowned.

"Oh don't mind her." I spoke. "She just an old lady and can't mind her business."

"Mummy says it's rude to intrude on other people's lives. You should always be kind she says."

"And that's very true little lady." I grinned.

I dug through my closet and found some old dollies for Rosalie to play with from my childhood. Her eyes lit up in delight as she took one of the dollies in her arms and hug her tightly to her chest. We played for a few minutes and Rosalie had already brainstorm several new names for my dolls. Supposedly my original names were boring and ancient, so instead she decided to name them Anna Belle, Elizabeth, Fifi, and Barbra.

I chuckled. "Barbra?"

"Barbra Sue!" She exclaim.

"What an awful name."

She giggled and tossed Barbra Sue up and down just like her mummy use to do with her on the playground. While we were playing, I also manage to find my old tea set and a few clothes for the dolls. We changed them into fancier dresses so they were more properly ready for tea time. Rosalie took the pot and carefully pretended to pour "tea" into the cups she set up for everyone. She served the pretend tea and biscuits like a true young lady would.

"You're having tea time without me?" Carlisle shriek. "Well I am rather hurt that I wasn't invited."

"You want some tea!" Rosalie smiled and held up a cup.

"I would absolutely love some tea!" He beam.

Carlisle join us on the floor and pretended to drink two servings of tea. He teased Rosalie for not having any sugar cubes and that's when she decided to invade my vanity for some cotton balls.

"I'll buy you more cotton balls later." He whispered into my ear.

I shook my head. "It's alright. She enjoying herself."

Rosalie smiled at us and place the cotton balls in our tea cups. We drank some more of our tea and then later on we clean the mess we had made. She help me put the tea cups and the pot back in it's case and in a safe place so she could play with them again whenever she wanted. I allowed her to keep the dollies out and she busied herself for some time playing on our bed with the dollies in her arms. Carlisle and I watch her from the doorway while he held me in his arms.

"She so precious." He said quietly.

I agreed with him. "So precious and sweet."

As time passed, we had dinner and even played a few rounds of cards with the other children before sending them to bed. I changed Rosalie into her nightie and laid in bed with her as Carlisle read us a few pages of poetry. Rosalie slowly dozed off into slumber and we both tuck her in so she would be warm underneath the blankets. Mrs. Uley went home for the night which gave us the opportunity to lay on the couch together in the living room. Although I loved the children dearly, I missed having this time and privacy with my husband especially in our own house.

"I love you." Carlisle stroke my hair.

"Mmm." I hummed. "I love you too."

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"What is it?" I smirked.

I felt his chest tighten. "Esme.."

"Carlisle what is it?" I lifted my head a little higher in order to meet his gaze.

"Esme." He sighed. "I see the way you act around Rosalie and I was just wondering-"

"No."

"What do you mean no?" He frown.

"No." I repeated. "I have not reconsider my decision"

"Esme please. We could be such great-"

"No Carlisle. I don't desire to have any children of my own." I told him.

His face look puzzled. "I'm not sure if I understand."

"Baby.." I inhaled. "You are enough for me. I just want you and only you. I cherish every part of our marriage together and I don't want to risk of that changing because we've added another little being to it. I love being able to travel whenever we want or just be in the moment like right now. Laying in each other's arms and making love all hours of the night."

"We didn't make love tonight." He pointed out.

I giggled. "Not yet. There's still some time though."

But instead of laughing with me his face grew very intense. "Our marriage would not change if we have a baby."

"You don't know that."

"No." He spoke. "I don't. However, I do know that I won't love you any less because we have a child. I will not view you as less of a women or not cherish every fiber of your being. You could have two heads for all I care and I would still love you just the same."

I snorted. "You would not be in love with me if I was some sort of circus freak."

"Esme that's beyond the point." Carlisle rolled his eyes. "I'm very serious at the moment and I want you to take this seriously as well. We are discussing our future here. I understand that children are a major responsibly and possibly that's why you have no desire to bear any, but I want to you carefully consider it instead of being close minded. Look how much joy Rosalie brought to our house and she only been here for a day. We could have our own Rosalie to spend the rest of our lives with. Just think about it. Please."

I sighed and moved off his chest. I left the room without a word and went up stairs to bed. I lied awake for what felt like hours as Rosalie little body cuddled next to mine. I glance down at the sleeping child in my arms and tried to think of what my own child would be like. It was difficult to imagine what a small replica of Carlisle and I would look like or what noises it would make. Rosalie was slightly talkative in her sleep although I could never manage to fully comprehend what she was saying. In general, she had a very small voice that sounded as sweet as honey. Would our own child be that kind? What if our children turn out to be little monsters like Emmett was some days? Oh no.. I'm not sure if I could handle five mini Emmett's running around the house. Tearing through the walls and tracking mud all over the floors. I think I rather die..

I felt the bed slightly shift and Carlisle rub my arm. He bent down carefully and kissed the side of my head.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." He muttered.

"It's fine."

It's wasn't common for us to fight like this. We actually rarely fought at all. For the most part, we agreed on almost everything in our marriage expect for this one thing and I probably should of known that this one aspect of the life would eventually come up and haunt us again especially with having all the children around.

He moved a piece of hair out my face. "I shouldn't push you so hard. I have to respect your wishes."

"And I have to respect yours as well." I said.

Carlisle moved closer and kissed the spot behind my ear. "Is it too late to make love tonight?"

"There's a child in our bed." I snickered.

"And there's other rooms in this house." He smirked.

I shook my head and tried to muffle a giggle. Such a naughty man some times. I carefully moved Rosalie out of my arms and took Carlisle hand as we escape back down stairs. He threw some wood into the fireplace and laid a blanket out in front of it so we could keep warm. Afterwards, he walk over to me and began to slowly remove my clothing.

"So beautiful." He whispered.

Carlisle began to kiss from my neck all the way down to my breast where he savored each of my nipples in his mouth. I tried to hold back a moan when he slid down my knickers and gently rub my clit.

"Don't stop baby." I begged.

"Of course not sweetheart."

Once his own clothes were removed, we laid down on the blanket and I captured his lips with mine in a passionate kissed. His tongue battled with my own and I bit his bottom lip, causing him to moan out loud.

"Ssssh." I giggled. "We don't want to wake the children."

Carlisle buried his head into my shoulder. "You will be the death of me women."

And then he spread my legs and slowly enter my body. We ended up making love twice that night and almost a third, but I could hear Rosalie toss and turn in her sleep so I decided that it was time I go back and snuggle in bed with her. I didn't want to risk the possibly of her waking up and coming down stairs and seeing us entangled together with our bodies. Carlisle had agreed with me and put out the fire before we both went our separate ways. I slept the remainder of the night with the little girl tuck safely in my arms. It was both equally peaceful and relaxing..

Over the next couple of days, we received no luck in locating Rosalie mother nor any family members that belong to her. The police had promise us that they we do a full investigation and telephone when any new information came around. Until then, Rosalie had slowly welcome herself into our home and was beginning to adjust quite well. She was slowly allowing the other children to play with her and once in a while she would let Bella and Alice play with her dollies. However, Emmett decided to chuck her precious Anna Belle down the water well one afternoon and now he is officially no longer allowed to play dollies with any of the girls and his punishment is to scrub the toilets and the floors for the next couple of weeks until he can learn how to behave.

"Anna Belle was one of my favorites though." Rosalie sob.

"Ssssh I know sweet princess." I held her in my arms as she cried. "Maybe we can get another dollie soon."

And by the next day, my husband had already went out to the store and fetch another doll for Rosalie. Her entire face lit up when he brought the new doll home. She was absolutely breathtaking and a much more beautiful doll than what my Anna Belle was. She almost had the same blonde hair as Rosalie, blue eyes, long lashes, and a beautiful pink gown. Rosalie held her tightly in her chubby little arms and never let go. She name the new the doll "Annie" (in honor of Anna Belle) and Annie followed Rosalie every where she went.

"You spoil them too much." I teased Carlisle.

He shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "I just can't help myself."

I lean in a bit closer so I could press my lips against his when all of the sudden we heard a loud banging coming from our front door. Carlisle and I both jump back in surprise, a little startled from the sudden commotion. We weren't expecting any guest to come by today.

"I'll answer it!" Alice squealed.

"No no." Carlisle said. "Let me answer it since we don't know who it is."

He walk over to the front door and peak through the curtains. I could slightly see his brow furrow as he unlock the door and open it. Standing on our front porch was two middle age ladies with black veils covering their faces. They both wore dark blue navy dresses which was quite odd considering it didn't match their veils. Navy and black do not go together. I never understood why some women thought they match when it's obvious that they are two different colors.

"May I help you?" Carlisle ask.

"We have some information regarding the little girl." One of the women croak.

The other nodded her head. "We were with her the night the mother pushed her on the bus."

"I see." Carlisle uttered. "Please come in."

I instructed the other children to take Rosalie upstairs and play a board game with her while the grown ups talk. Alice pick the little girl up and carried her up to her bedroom like she was Rosalie horse. I could hear Rosalie giggles and laughs as Alice repeatedly made horse noises and gallop to the room. I smiled to myself thinking of Rosalie clapping and begging Alice for more.

"Such a pleasant child, isn't she?" One of the women spoke.

"Very." I agreed.

Carlisle coughed. "So what are you're names?"

"Oh how rude of us!" The other women shriek. "My name is Mrs. Angela Weber and this is my friend Mrs. Jessica Stanley."

Carlisle smiled and shook their hands. "How do you do? I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Mrs. Esme Cullen."

"Doctor!" Exclaim Mrs. Stanley. "Well, what a lucky women you are!"

Mrs. Weber elbowed Mrs. Stanley in the rib cage. "Jessica."

"What!" She hissed. "I was just being polite."

I shifted awkwardly in my seat. "Anyways.. how do you relate to the child?"

"Oh yes the child." Mrs. Stanley said. "After the first bomb had struck in London, we had immediately taken shelter near by at someone house until it was safe enough to come out and seek assistance."

"Jessica had a terrible cut on her forehead from something miscellaneous. We needed to find refugee somewhere else. London was obviously no longer a safe place and our hotel was destroyed in the ruins." Mrs. Weber added.

"Angela that's the last thing they care about right now."

"No no." Carlisle ensured. "It's quite alright. We're terribly sorry that you had to endure such a horrific event."

"Horrific indeed Dr. Cullen." Mrs. Stanley agreed. "Anyways, we shoved our selves on a bus and right as we were getting ready to leave, this women ran over with a child in her arms. There wasn't any space left for the both of them to board and the bus driver tried to warn the women, but she kept begging that at least he take the child. So Angela and I decided that we would offer to take the little girl until the mother could get on the next bus. Little did we know though, that there wasn't going to be a next bus not for a while at least. The women handed me the child and I place her in the back seat. We drove away and well... now we're here."

"But why did you leave Rosalie on the bus by herself once you got off?" I ask.

Mrs. Weber frowned. "It's not our child."

"Yes, however, you promise the mother-"

"We promise that we would take her on the bus and ensure she had a seat." Mrs. Weber interrupted. "We didn't agree to care for the child until her mother came to take her. We're old ladies barely in our seventies. We aren't fit enough to run around and watch over a young one."

I sat in my chair in disbelief. How on earth could you just leave a little girl all by herself in a strange place? I remember that day I pick Rosalie up and carried her off the bus. She was so fragile then and needed medical care quickly. If I had not found her... I'm not sure what would of became of that poor little girl.

"Did her mother give a name? Or at least hinted where she was staying?" Carlisle question.

Mrs. Stanley shook her head. "She didn't mention anything besides that she was alone and needed a safe place for her little girl to stay in."

I sighed. "Rosalie did say that she had no father."

"The women wore no ring." Mrs. Weber spoke.

Carlisle rub his forehead. "Well thank you ladies for this bit of information. At least we know that Rosalie mother might still be in London."

"I'm sorry that we weren't much of a help." Mrs. Weber sighed. "We thought at least we'll tell them something."

"We graciously appreciate it." Carlisle grinned. "Would you care for some tea or a bite of toast?"

Mrs. Stanley waved her hand. "Oh no, we're actually on our way to Whales in hopes of staying with some family members. But thank you for the offer."

We all stood up and said our goodbyes to both Mrs. Stanley and Mrs. Weber. Carlisle and I watch them walk away until they finally disappeared and we shut the door.

"What wicked women." I spat.

"Now darling..."

"How could they just leave poor Rosalie on the bus?" I wondered. "Cold. Hungry. And sick."

"I'm not sure sweetheart, but if they hadn't taken her in then Rosalie wouldn't be here with us where she safe." He said.

I exhaled a deep breath. "I suppose you're right."

"Always right." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Such a tease.."


	3. Chapter 3

The seasons changed and the holidays went by and we still hadn't heard from Rosalie mother. The poor little girl was beginning to lose her patience and in return began to act out in sudden range and temper tantrums. We had never experience such a state with Rosalie before, but I suppose the child just misses her mother which made it even more difficult to calm her down when she would throw herself to the floor and sob. Thankfully, Mrs. Uley had four older children of her own that she raised plus her grandson so she knew just how to handle Rosalie fits. However, on her days off when I was left alone with the child, I often found myself holding Rosalie while she hit and scream and sometimes I would even cry along with her.

We were both tired and frustrated...

"Mrs. Cullen is a nasty women." Rosalie exclaim.

"And why's that?" Mrs. Uley ask.

"Because she hasn't found mummy." Rosalie spat. "Such a terrible nasty women."

I sighed and continue to knead my bread dough. Toast was almost the only thing that would please Rosalie these days other than her dolls and Carlisle.

"Don't fuss Mrs. Cullen." Mrs. Uley whispered into my ear. "Eventually, she will move past this and return to the lovable Rosalie we once knew."

"I wouldn't get our hopes up Mrs. Uley."

Rosalie distracted herself for a few minutes by drawing on the walls. I typically would never allow the children to do such a horrific thing, but it had entertain her and I needed at least a few minutes of silence so I could finish the dough. A few minutes later and the other children ran into the house along with Carlisle who just came home from work. Rosalie eyes lit up at the sight of him as she drop her crayons and ran into his arms. She was oddly quite fond with Carlisle these days despite her hatred towards Mrs. Uley and I. But I suppose the treats he spoils her with from time to time does the trick.

"Good evening Ms. Hale." Carlisle smiled.

"Spin me! Spin me!" Rosalie begged.

He spin her around in his arms as she laughed and squealed. It would of been a precious sight if Rosalie had not been such a little monster a few minutes prior. I set my bread dough in the pans and covered it with a towel so the bread could take the time to rise. I was washing my hands when Carlisle set Rosalie down on the counter and wrap his arms around my waist.

"Hello Mrs. Cullen." He kissed my neck.

I grin tiredly. "How do you do Dr. Cullen?"

"Just fine." He responded. "How about you?"

"I've been better."

He was about to open his mouth again when Bella and Alice rushed into the kitchen. It was obvious by their faces that something was the matter.

"Hello girls." Carlisle greeted them. "How may I help you today?"

"The bloody hell you will!" Growled Alice.

"Alice!" I scold. "I will not have such language said in my house!"

"And I will not tolerate thief's!" Bella shriek.

Carlisle frowned. "Bella what on earth are you talking about?"

"Our precious fabric for the school social is gone!" Alice said. "We were suppose to make dresses today and now there's no fabric!"

"Alice I'm sure you have misplaced it somewhere." I spoke.

She shook her head. "It was the thief!"

She pointed her finger towards Rosalie who was slowly trying to remove herself from the counter. Carlisle sighed and help Rosalie down, but before she could run away, he gently grab a hold of her arm and bent down to her level.

"Rose.." He said seriously. "Did you take Bella and Alice fabric?"

"Rose", "Rosie", and even "Rosie Posie" where all nicknames that Carlisle just recently gave to Rosalie. I wasn't very pleased that he decided to nickname her with such adorable names too. It was difficult to not call her "Rosie" or "Rosie Posie" now since it fit her so well. However, once you name something it slowly becomes apart of you and I knew once Rosalie mother was found we would be saying goodbye to Rose rather soon. Even if we never locate her mother, it doesn't mean that a family member won't step up and claim the child. We would have no choice other than to give her back. And I was afraid what harm that would do to Carlisle attachment to her...

"Rosie." Carlisle repeated. "I need you to tell me the truth, alright? Or you're nose will grow just like Pinocchio!"

Tears began to form in Rosalie eyes. "I don't want my nose to grow like Pinocchio's!"

"Well, you better tell the truth then."

"I did it!" She cried.

"Rosalie why on earth would you do such a thing?" I ask.

She quickly ran upstairs and came back down with a box. She slowly open the lid and revealed the most beautiful fascinator with the fabric used as some sort of makeshift bow with the hen feathers sticking out behind it. She also had taken the fabric for two other fascinators and created other designs with it. It was very extraordinary that a child of Rosalie age would have this talent!

Carlisle deeply inhaled. "Rosalie while those are rather quite marvelous darling, it's still very wrong of you to steal from Bella and Alice."

"But I wanted to make fancy hats for my dolls!" She explain. "The old hats were so plain and boring."

"Rosie we would of let you have the leftovers if you had just ask." Bella spoke.

Rosalie dip her head down in shame. "I'm sorry."

Bella sighed and hugged Rosalie in her arms. Alice on the other hand stood with her arms crossed over her chest with the look of rage on her face.

"What are we suppose to do now!" She hissed. "We can't go to the social!"

Carlisle pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and dig through it for some change. I eyed him suspiciously when he pulled out a few coins and even a dollar and then handed it to Alice. We weren't poor by any means, but with the war going on that definitely left some restrictions. We had to be careful where we spent our money and what it was spent on. Usually, it went towards the groceries and more important things.

"Here is about two pounds worth." He told her. "Go to the market and pick out a dress that's already been made."

Bella eyes lit up. "Dr. Cullen we could never-"

"Go on." He interrupted her. "The last bus should be leaving in a few minutes. You don't want to miss it."

Both girls thank him before running off to the bus stop. Afterwards, he order Rosalie up to her bedroom where she was suppose to spend the rest of the day there until dinner. Her punishment was also to help Mrs. Uley with the daily chores including feeding the hens for the next couple of weeks. It was sweet of him to do such a thing for Bella and Alice, but I was also furious that he would give them that much money. We needed that money to fix the screen door tomorrow and the sink been leaking again. I don't know what on earth possessed him to throw money around like we just have a endless supply of it.

"I've never had to be so strict with Rose before." Carlisle said.

I raised a brow. "You're worried about Rosalie feelings while you just handed Bella and Alice our allowance for this week?"

"Esme they're children-"

"Yes. They're children Carlisle. And we can't afford to have all of these children especially when you're giving them our money." I snap.

He look at me for a few minutes and even stroke a piece of hair out of my face. I slap his hand away and pulled back. What on earth is the matter with him today?"

He sighed. "They need some sort of normal in their childhood Esme. I am afraid that the war has taken away their innocence. It's not fair."

"Life not fair."

"No, I suppose it's not." He nodded his head.

It was silent between us for some time until Mrs. Uley walk in with a pile of fresh vegetables from the garden. I assist her in washing the veggies while Carlisle excused himself from the room and to his study. We no longer saw him for the rest of the night not even at dinner.

A few weeks passed and whatever happen between Carlisle and I still linger, but we were far too busy to handle the situation right now. Another load of refugees arrived only a couple of days ago and left us with a added child. Thankfully, he's much older than Rosalie and very responsible as well. Jasper turn nine years old a month prior and he was left at the camp when his mother and little sister where rushed to the nearest hospital. Unfortunately, they inhaled too much smoke from the raids and his mother was trampled in the streets. Carlisle had been her doctor at the time and he promise her that we would take Jasper in until she was better. Jasper was actually a wonderful young man and very respectful. He instantly bonded with both Emmett and Edward and once in a while I would catch him walking Alice in the gardens. I think he was quite smitten over her...

"Mrs. Cullen!" Edward rushed into the house. "A police man is here!"

I frowned. "Law enforcement?"

I had been standing in the living with Mrs. Uley trying to water the plants before Edward ran in with the rest of the boys. Carlisle had rang the authorities a week before just to ensure that we haven't missed any new information regarding Rosalie mother. They had told us that no news had came along, but not to worry because they were still working hard at the case. Possibly, they finally found something that could help us..

I order the boys up to their rooms and welcome the officer into our home while Mrs. Uley hurried into the kitchen and started the kettle.

"I am terribly sorry about the boys surrounding you like that." I told the man. "Sometimes they forget their manners."

He smiled and tip his hat. "No worries ma'am. What wonderful sons you got there."

"If only they were mine." I chuckled.

Carlisle step into the room and paused for a moment as he stared at the police officer in our home.

"Oh, I wasn't aware we had visitors coming by today." He spoke.

The officer shook his head. "Terribly sorry to intrude Dr. Cullen. I suppose I should of called first, but I have some important news to share."

"And what is your name sir?" My husband ask.

The man blushed. "Officer James sir. William James."

"Well officer James please sit down and do share."

Officer James took a seat on the couch in front us as we sat in our chairs. Mrs. Uley came in and served the officer his tea and even a few biscuits. I'm not sure where the biscuits came from, I haven't made a fresh batch in ages. I made a mental note in my head to later ask her about it.

"We have received news regarding the mother of Rosalie Hale." Officer James said.

"And?" Carlisle wonder.

Officer James drop his head. "She has passed sir."

"Passed?" I uttered. "Deceased."

"I'm afraid so ma'am."

"How did it happen?"

Officer James sighed. "Sources revealed that after she drop the child off at the bus station, another raid hit the city of London instantly, causing more destruction around the area. She decided to run and seek shelter in a hotel, but unfortunately the shelter was not sturdy enough to handle the raids and collapse in matter of minutes when the planes drop more bombs. Everyone in there was crushed to their deaths by the building. We did, however, find her satchel which contain a small teddy, a few letters, and a children rations book. I am terribly sorry."

I was speechless. "What happens now?"

"Well..." He began. "We are trying to reach out to other family members to see if anyone could take in the child. The letters hinted a possible sister who might live in France. However, most of the civilians have fleeted France with the great war going on. It might take us months or even years to try and relocate the aunt. Other than that, Ms. Hale never mention a Mr. Hale and we're not sure where to investigate on the behalf of his whereabouts. We will try to see if he was enlisted."

Carlisle slowly nodded his head. "Thank you for this information."

"I wish I came with better news, but I suppose nothing truly comes good out of war."

"No." He agreed. "No, it doesn't."

"If the the biological family does not step up within a month or so, we will try to relocate the child to another family that could possibly take her in if by chance she an orphan." Officer James explain.

I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean relocate her?"

"Darling Rosalie deserves to be apart of an actual family that-"

"We are a family." I interrupted Carlisle. "She been apart of our world for almost a year now. We can't just give her up to some strangers."

Officer James coughed. "Your decision on keeping the child is completely up to the both of you."

Carlisle slightly grinned. "Of course. Thank you for your time officer. We graciously appreciate it."

We shook the officers hand before he step outside and paddled away on his bicycle. I closed the door and turn towards Carlisle.

"We can't give her up to another family." I told him.

Carlisle rolled his eyes. "You said you don't want children but-"

"I don't want children."

"You want Rosalie."

"That's different." I said.

"How on earth is that different Esme?" His tone was harsh.

"I see something in her." I admitted to him. "We share something similar."

"Esme-"

"Just forget it Carlisle."

I walk away and ran upstairs to my bedroom. Rosalie had been up there playing dolls with Alice and Bella for what seem like hours. I ask the girls to go in the the other room while I talk to Rosalie. Rose was often still angry towards me, but sometimes I could soften her up at the right moments. I sat next to her and pulled her little body into my arms.

"Is mummy coming back to get me?" She ask. "Is that why the police man was here?"

"How did you know that the police man was here?"

"Edward told me!" She exclaim.

"Mummy going to be a while." I lied.

Rosalie frowned. "What do you mean?"

How was one person suppose to explain to a child that her mother was never coming back to get her? That she will never see her mother face again or hear her laughter? Carlisle wasn't aware, however, I had lost my own mother at the age of six years old from a strange virus that was happening at the time. My father had abandon us when I much younger and I was only left with my mother and my older brothers. But after my mother was gone, my brother George and I were sent to a orphanage where they physically abused and manipulated us daily. I suppose my other brother, Philip, was lucky that he was eighteen and could freely decide on his own behalf where he would resign for the rest of his life. Philip promise mother that he would take care of George and I and even after we were sent to the orphanage he had said he would come back and get us once he found a job.

He never came back..

The orphanage is actually where I had meant Renee for the first time. She was also an orphan expect her parents left her on the orphanage door steps when she was just a little baby. We had grown up to be friends until the age of ten when Renee was adopted by a very nice couple from the countryside. I remember how difficult it was to depart with my best friend and afterwards I later lost my brother to lice. The orphanage had been so cold especially during the winter times and it was common that the children would spread lice to each other. Typically, I would sneak into the kitchen at night and steal some mayonnaise from the cupboards so George and I could suffocate the lice in our hair overnight. However, unfortunately, George had gotten it really bad one month and it just wouldn't go away. I tried to tell the head minster, but she would walk pass me and not even acknowledge that I was there. He started to scratch all over his body and eventually the scabs led to a major infection. My brother passed away two days before Christmas Eve.

I was alone and scared. I was also confused because years had passed and we had received no news on Philip behalf. I didn't understand what was taking him so long until one day when I was much older I learn that Philip moved to Italy where he started his own shop and settled down with a wife and three kids. He had abandon George and I just like our father did and for that I never reach out to him and tried to contact him. I hated Philip with all my heart and still do to this day.

Because when I was barely eleven years old I was rape for the first time...

His name was Charles and he had been the orphanage janitor. I could feel him staring at me in the distance for days, but I tried to shrug it off and go along with my activities. Well that was until one night when I heard a sudden crash coming from the dining room. I had gotten out of bed and caught Charles standing in the room with his pants unbuckle. He must of knock over the lamp shade doing who knows what. I was completely embarrassed and excused myself from the room until he grab my forearm and pulled me back. I tried to fight him off and even scream for help, but he tore my pants down and shoved me against the wall.

I don't think I need to explain in further detail what occurred next.

Weeks after the incident, Renee had came to visit me one afternoon. There was some land behind the orphanage and I would climb over the gate when no one was looking to see her every so often. I was in tears as I explained what happen to Renee and she promise me that I would never be going back to the orphanage ever again. I ran away that tonight and Renee kept me hidden in her adopted parents farm barn until her father caught me petting the horses one night. They weren't very please that Renee would do such a thing behind there back, however, they agreed to let me live there and eventually they were able to find me a family to live with. Mr. and Mrs. Platt had owned a couple of acres of land just two blocks down from Renee family which meant we were able to grow up together again. Mrs. Platt was a tad overbearing at times and she kept a very close watch on me daily. Mr. Platt, on the other hand, was not as strict as Mrs. Platt and he taught me how to read, paint, feed the livestock, and even ride my first horse. Unfortunately, he passed away when I was nineteen years old from a oversize tumor in his neck and Mrs. Platt decided to relocate in northern Greece after his death. We didn't really keep in contact much and I wonder often whether if she was truly safe in Greece with this war going on. But I suppose I will never know..

Looking down at Rosalie, I knew that I could never do what so many others did with me. I couldn't give her up and watch her walk away like Philip did with both George and I. It was now my job to care for this little girl and protect her with whatever fight I had left in me.

"Rosalie darling you really shouldn't ask so many questions." I spoke.

"But you said-"

"How about we go visit Ms. Dwyer, hmm?" I suggest. "We could bring her some fresh biscuits?"

She tilted her head, but then gave me a slight head nod. I quickly slid her shoes over her feet and then help her into her coat, but I let her button her own jacket since she been pretty insist these days that she can button her own coat by herself. She won't allow me nor Carlisle help her even when her chubby little fingers struggle trying to slide the button in the holes. It was adorable to see her try though.

"Ta da!" Rosalie exclaim. "I did it!"

I smiled. "Yes, you did sweetheart. Great job!"

I took her hand and we walk over to Renee house with some fresh biscuits in a basket. Rosalie wanted to hold the basket herself, however, Renee lived about a mile away and I wasn't quite sure if Rosalie could carry such weight for so long. Instead, I promise her that she could give the biscuits to Renee and maybe even offer to pour her tea for her with my help. That seem to hopefully please her for now.

"Mrs. Cullen?" Rosalie said.

"Rose it's okay if you call me Esme." I told her.

She bit her bottom lip. "Esme?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Are you pregnant?"

I laughed. "Rosalie again with the questions. No dear! What on earth would make you think so?"

"I dunno." She shrugged her shoulders. "Mummy says that women have babies."

"Not always." I corrected her. "Some women live their whole lives without having any children."

"Mummy says sometimes you're pregnant without knowing. You could have a baby in your belly and not know yet!"

I playfully rolled my eyes. "I am one hundred percent positive that I do not have a baby in my tummy right now."

It made me a little disappointed to know that I will have the opportunity to introduce myself to Rosalie mother. It's difficult to imagine what type of women she was with all the stories that Rosalie shares with me. I couldn't believe that a mother would tell her child such absurd ideas! Rosalie seem a little too young to know about babies and... well the idea gave me the shivers.

When we arrived at Renee house, Rosalie was in awe at her home. Renee somehow saved enough money to keep her parents farmland and ever since she been a farmer. She had multiple livestock including cows, chickens, horses, pigs, and even a couple of bunnies. Rosalie was practically bouncing up and down when I pointed out the bunny pen. I warned her though that she needed to ask Renee first if she could hold a bunny and she had to be very gentle.

"Oh they won't bite." Renee said as she came out of the barn. "Mr. Carrots is probably the harmless little creature you will ever meet."

"Mr. Carrots?" I raised a brow.

"There's Mr. Carrots, Fluffy Kins, Snowball, and Queen Elizabeth."

"Fluffy Kins!" Rosalie giggled.

Renee grinned. "Would you like to feed them some hay?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Rosalie squealed.

Renee gave her a bucket of hay and she ran off to go feed the bunnies. We walk over to the outdoor table and chairs and sat as we watch Rosalie play with the bunnies. I handed the basket of biscuits to Renee and she chowed down on them.

"You're Mrs. Uley makes the best biscuits known to man." She chewed.

I chuckled. "Slow down Renee before you choke."

"We're not children anymore Esme." She spat. "I don't need you to look after me."

"I promise your mother on her deathbed that I would watch over you."

Renee huffed. "I know. I know. I know."

Although Renee was a few months older than what I was, I was probably like Edward whether Renee has always been as careless and irresponsible as what Emmett is. I had to constantly watch over her when we were children so when her mother was slowly dying of cancer she made me cross my heart that I would always make sure that Renee was safe and taken care of. Our relationship had changed somewhat when I married Carlisle, but that didn't mean I loved Renee any less. I'm actually not sure why she has grown so cold towards me. I've never done anything to make her upset or alter our friendship. It kinda of disappointed me that we have grown so apart throughout the years.

"So.." Renee began. "Have you heard anything from the mother?"

I sighed. "She passed away in one of the raids."

"Oh Esme I am so terribly sorry."

"We haven't told Rosalie yet."

She patted my hand. "I understand. Have you decided when to tell her?"

"No." I shook my head. "Carlisle is actually upset with me right now."

"And why's that."

"I think I want to keep her." I said.

Renee laughed. "And why would Carlisle be upset over that? He's been practically begging you for a baby ever since you two wed."

"That's not true!" I shriek.

"Esme-"

"Stop." I interrupted her. "I don't want to discuss that subject anymore. But I suppose that's why he's frustrated with me at the moment. He doesn't understand why I want to keep Rosalie."

"And why do you want to keep the child?" She asked.

I glance up to her face. "I can't abandon her like my father did with us. I don't have the heart to drop her somewhere else and never come back. Philip forgot all about George and I and instead built a new life without us. How can I move on in life knowing that Rosalie could be anywhere? She could be stuck somewhere. Mistreated. Abused. And misused. I cannot risk that happening to such a beautiful child."

"That's reasonable." Renee nodded her head. "But have you told Carlisle this?"

"Carlisle is unaware of my past." I admitted.

Her eyes grew big. "You mean you haven't told him?"

"No, how can I?"

"Esme he's your husband. He has the right to know."

"Says the one who lies and sleeps around." I snorted.

Renee rolled her eyes. "This isn't about me. Carlisle is a very good man and you are lucky to have found someone who absolutely adores every inch of you. Don't ruin that because you are too self conscious and selfish to share something so important and personal with him."

"I suppose you're right."

"Yea.. I know."

I laughed. "Smart ass..."

"Always." Renee smirked.

Carlisle was my soulmate and it pain me to know that I haven't been honest with him especially about my past. I think in the beginning I was afraid that if I told him he would run away and turn his back on me. But maybe Renee right and I just need to open up and then Carlisle might finally understand why I couldn't give Rosalie up.

Hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4

"Esme! Esme!" Rosalie shriek. "The hens are chasing me!"

I chuckled. "Set the bucket of food down Rose and they'll leave you alone."

I stood on the back porch and watch Rosalie as she dump the bucket of feed and ran away from the hens. They quickly forgot about her tiny little ankles and chose to pick on the food instead. But once the baby chicks were finish with their meal, Rosalie started to chase them around the pen as she giggled and squealed. She had loved all animals especially the chickens and I think she enjoyed feeding the hens a little too much these past few weeks.

Some punishment..

"Rosalie!" I exclaim. "Leave those poor chickens alone! Let them feed my darling girl!"

"I think they like me!" She said as she climb the steps up the porch.

I swatted the dirt off her dress. "Mmmm. I think differently."

She was covered in filth from chasing those poor hens around and I had to immediately give her a bath before Mrs. Uley saw what a mess she had made of herself. I took Rosalie hand and led her upstairs to the bathroom. She decided to be a big girl today and take off her own clothes while I start the bath. She impatiently waited until I summon her to come closer and lifted her off the ground and into the tub where I scrub hard on her tiny little body in order to get the mud off her skin. It amazed me though that for such a small child Rosalie still carried most of her baby fat although she wasn't fat by any means. I carefully washed her grubby hands and also her grubby knees and neck with my own bath soap, scooped water over her shoulders and back. Her skin was a beautiful ivory, dense and creamy.

"Is the water too hot?" I asked, anxiously.

She shook her head. Everything I did I tried to mimic the actions of her mother, and yet she still had said nothing. She was just so small. Perhaps, I was wrong and this bath time was so new and peculiar that nothing about it recalled her mother. I dipped my hand in the warm water and scooped it over her pale, round shoulders.

"Esme?" She asked.

"Yes, darling?"

She furrowed her brow. "I don't think mummy coming to get me."

Weeks have passed and we still haven't broke the news to Rosalie that her mother is deceased. I ran through the phrases in my mind. _Rosalie, darling your mother. Mummy- Rose, sweetheart._ But I couldn't get any further. It would have to be done tomorrow. Tomorrow or the next day. Or possibly next week.

"Oh." I said. "And what makes you think that?"

Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. "Mummy wouldn't miss Christmas."

I kept quiet and decided not to respond back to her phrase. After her bath, I wrap a soft towel around her body and she followed me into the bedroom where I rummage through her clothing. We tried four different dresses- all too small before I finally found one that could fit. I squeezed the pink gown over her head and barely fitted her arms through the holes.

I sighed. "We'll have to run into town tomorrow and buy you some new dresses."

"I don't want to go." Rosalie frowned.

"Well then you better stop growing or you'll be running around in nothing expect your knickers." I told her.

"Nasty women." She sneered.

She ran off to go play with her dollies. Later on, we ate dinner with the rest of the children and I read her a book before she fell asleep on my chest. Rosalie kept me awake for a large portion of the night, a sleeper in almost perpetual motion. I awaken around five thirty ish and by six o'clock I was in the kitchen starting some bread when I heard a absurd thundering on the landing and Mrs. Uley hopeless cry.

"Emmett!" She spat. "Emmett, you're a plain old-fashioned disgrace!"

I heard Carlisle say, "Son, stop this bawling!"

However, they took no notice to my space and crowded noisily into the kitchen, Mrs. Uley following.

"Emmett will not have his hair cut." She announced.

I was pouring warm water into my flour when I looked up and saw the older boy with his scruffy hair down to his eyes and for the first time I also noticed the faintness dark down on his upper lip.

"Emmett darling." I said. "You don't look very clean. What on earth are you going to do when you meet a lady gal for the first time?"

"Save your strength Mrs. Cullen." Mrs. Uley began to scoop the oats into a pan. "Emmett will not be told what to do."

Emmett sat down at the table and later on the other four oldest children join him.

"He looks like a girl." Edward teased.

Emmett scuffed his feet by range, his fringe in his eyes. "Do not!"

"Really, Emmett, dear. What sort of girl would have such a plain style." I chuckled.

Just then Carlisle came into the kitchen. "Good morning children. Emmett and Edward, I've been speaking to your father commander. They're all fit and well, although he mention that there is no water and an awful lot of smoke."

They were both too proud to shed tears of relief, but Edward shoulders settled and Emmett blinked rapidly while giving a series of blowing breaths.

"Emmett won't have his hair cut." I inform Carlisle.

"I know." Carlisle admitted. "The fearful row you made quite impinged on my telephone conversation with your father commander."

"But sir-"

Carlisle raised his hand. "No sir young man, I do not want to hear your excuses. You will submit to a trim this evening and at Christmas I will reward you boys with a new aircraft from Mr. Stanley toy shop. This is a gentleman's offer, a conditional upon meticulous obedience to Mrs. Uley. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Dr. Cullen." Emmett agreed.

Edward grinned. "You got it doc."

Elizabeth served the porridge while I kneaded my dough, rolling it and slapping it on the board over and over again. The telephone had rang once again and Carlisle mutter a quiet, "damn", and then left the room to answer it. Bella was playing with her fork, making it bounce on the table every time she pound her first into it.

"Isabella, pick up your spoon and start eating." Mrs. Uley said through her teeth.

Bella rolled her eyes and took a bite. "Isn't it extraordinary that Mrs. Cullen is only twenty two? Barely old enough to be our mother."

"She isn't much different from us. She still scrapes her food bowl like we do expect for Dr. Cullen. He's a proper grown up." Alice commented.

Emmett laughed. "Dr. Cullen is like forty million years old! Mrs. Cullen is nothing but a child."

"Emmett, I shall warn Dr. Cullen how rude you've children been about Mrs. Cullen."

"Really, Mrs. Uley." I rolled my dough and put it back in the pan. "It's nothing more than the actual truth. I'm always starving and Dr. Cullen is only thirty to be exact. He just had his birthday a few short months ago."

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen." Mrs. Uley said. "But the children manners.."

Carlisle returned, unsmiling. The children noticing it started to quiet down.

"Who rang, darling?" I asked.

"Oh just Mr. Weber." He answered. "I suppose he lost some of his sheep the other day."

"His sheep!" Jasper exclaim. "What silly none sense!"

"None sense indeed." Carlisle spoke.

He was lying and I knew it. But I decided to let it go for now in hopes that maybe he would tell me later. Carlisle could not fool me. His face was too flushed which meant that whatever was happening... it's been a secret for some time.

"Where's Rosalie?" He changed the subject.

I set a towel over the bread dough. "Still in bed. The poor thing tossed and turned all night."

"I will go and awake her now." Mrs. Uley said as she washed her hands and left the room.

"I see." Carlisle nodded his head. "Shall we tell the other children while she not here?"

"Tell us what?" Edward wonder.

I sighed and sat down at the table. "Children we were just recently inform that Rosalie mother is deceased."

"Which means we need you guys to be extra kind to her." Carlisle added. "We want her to feel cared for in this time of need."

Alice raised a brow. "Does she know yet?"

"Oh heavens no." I said. "We will tell her when the time is right so please keep your mouths shut."

They all nodded and promise not to say a word. Mrs. Uley breathed a sigh in relief when they finished their porridge and ran outside to play. Carlisle excused himself from the table and put on his heavy coat before stepping out the door. I followed him out to the yard where the old garage was. I tried to match my stride to his, but Carlisle was much taller than me and I had troubles keeping up with him. Wherever he was going he was eager to be on his way, but I was more determine to find out what the big secret was.

"Darling." I huffed. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Of course not, my love." He said, fumbling for his keys as we were approaching the garage.

"You were oddly quiet during breakfast this morning."

Carlisle unlocked the door and snapped the padlock shut. "Sweetheart, these past few days we've all been through a great deal. You've been absolutely marvelous-"

"I really haven't. I simply did what had to be done in order to keep the children taken care of. Now Carlisle truly tell me what's going on?"

"Well, I think this experience has left us, perhaps, not quite in our right minds."

The doors gave a rusty scream as Carlisle pulled them open. I followed him into the garage.

"What do you mean, 'in our right minds'? Carlisle please?" I begged.

"Darling, can we discuss this at a later time?" He was opening the cab door, swinging himself up into the driving seat. "It's hardly appropriate at this moment."

"I'm suppose to take Rosalie shopping today for new dresses." I told him.

"Of course." He had said and rummage through his pockets for some spare change. "Here is about seven pounds worth. Go and pick out the little one a few clothes that will last for the month."

I stared at the money that he set in my hands.

"Esme my dear, what on earth is the matter?"

I sighed. "Nothing is the matter. I am perfectly alright. And certainly in my _right mind_."

"I do beg your pardon." He laughed. "That was a tad rude, don't you think? Take Rose shopping and don't worry about the refugee camp today. I'm sure Renee and I can handle it on our own. I must go now."

"Of course you must."

He lean down and kissed my lips before driving off. I stood there for some time before going back inside and putting my dough into the oven. I ate my portion of porridge, half cold in the pan despite Mrs. Uley fuss and then got ready for the day. Alice had taken Rosalie outside to play with the hens until I was ready to leave for the store. It had taken me several minutes to convince Rosalie to come along- she didn't want to leave the hens all alone.

"Rose darling." I was exhausted. "The hens will be alright. They have each other to keep in company."

"But the chicks!" She cried. "The chicks are cold!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Rosalie go along now and I will care for the chickens. They are safe under my watch that I can promise."

I dragged Rosalie away and rushed down to the bus stop. We had only ten minutes to spare before we were late and would miss the bus. At some point, I did have to carry her after she dragged her feet and stumbled to her knees, all while yanking at my hand until I was forced to hoist her into my arms. Just as I broke out into a clumsy trot, my shopping bag barely hanging on my shoulder, the bus to town passed by the end of the lane on its way to the stop.

"Wait! Wait! I called out hoping that a passenger would notice.

But the bus roared on, flashing through the gaps in the hedge and I hurried the last few paces only to see it vanish from my view. I set Rosalie down on the ground, absolutely winded from my run.

"Looked what you have done!" I shriek. "We've missed the bus!"

"I know!" She grinned.

I began to feel my eyes sting with frustrated tears as I watched the bus emerge from the dip and rush up on the hill, through the bare trees and away to town.

"I was going to get you new dresses and a few coats, Rosalie. But now I can't and you'll have to sit naked while I wash and rummage through all your old ones. Uncomfortable and cold."

In response she started to giggle and jump up and down.

"Stop it!" I shouted. "Rosalie, please!"

For a minute she stop before her face crumpled and she started crying, high pitch and strident as a young lamb. I somehow managed to crouch down despite how tired I was and wrapped my arms around her.

"Mummy not coming!" Rosalie cried. "Mummy's not ever coming back!"

I felt my breath shaken. "No darling, Mummy's not ever coming back again."

"Never come back?"

"No."

"Mummy gone? Forever?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

She pulled away from me, her wet eyes clear blue. "I bet you're going to say that she's gone to heaven."

I held her tight but without clinging too hard. "Yes, Rosalie. I was going to tell you that mummy gone's to heaven."

And then I felt a small smack against my cheek and realized that her palm hit me squarely on the cheek.

"Nasty women!" She sneered.

She sprang backward out of my arms and ran off down the road towards Mr. Denali farm. There was something coming the other way. The thunder of a big engine that was starting to fill the air.

"Rosalie!" I dashed after her.

I shouted again as the tractor rounded the corner, pulling a huge spined harrow that seemed to fill a good portion of the road. I tried to run as fast as possible, flinging my arm out and grasping a hold of the child back, tugging her onto the verge at the very instant the tractor roared passed us, the harrow bouncing after it, missing us just by a foot. Rosalie and I both fell down and she scream under me like a child in a collapsing building. She flailed at me, but I grabbed her hands as she scream and wailed.

"What the bloody hell!" Mr. Denali yelled.

I turned my head as the tractor had slowed down and was pulling into the wide fields opposite to the bus stop. Mr. Denali jumped down and ran back towards us with a sallow face and black eyes that were just as furious as I was.

"Esme Cullen what are you bloody up to!" He bellowed. "I nearly crushed that child of yours!"

"What does it look like?" I clung harder to Rosalie. "I'm trying to take care of her!"

He huffed. "Well you're making a bloody awful job of it!"

"Thank you!" I cried. "I'm aware of that!"

He glared back, also panting from the mad dash and telling me off. Then I slowly let go of Rosalie and rub my forehead.

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "We missed the bus and I suppose I lost it for a few seconds."

"Three children and I can honestly say that I've never experience something so absurd before."

"You're children are much older than what she is."

"They weren't always that old though." He said. "When Kate was ten she snuck out to the fields with Tanya who was only four at the time and almost chopped her head off trying to run through the wheat. I had my big tractor parked in the middle of it. It was too dark to see though. Luckily, Irina had told on them and I went out there with my matches. They had spanking's for days."

I muffled a little laugh. "I guess we're all not cut out for this job."

"No ma'am." Mr. Denali shook his head. "Parenting ain't easy. Although I ensure you that once you give it some time, you will be a pro before you know it."

"Thank you Mr. Denali."

"Don't thank me." He spoke. "Thank the Gods that this child was saved from being crushed by a tractor. It was a damn miracle. And you little lady.."

Rosalie stuck her thumb in her mouth as she cling to my pant leg.

"You mind Mrs. Cullen now or I'll spank you myself."

Her eyes grew big and she tugged on my skirt. I thank Mr. Denali once more for his help and apologize for the inconvenience before picking Rosalie up and carrying her home. Once we arrive home, we were both utterly exhausted and I laid her down in my bed for a nap.

"Esme." She whine. "Oh Esme please do lay down with me."

"Oh now you want to act sweet." I teased.

I scooted her over and climb into bed. She laid her head on my bosom and suck on her thumb some more while I gently rub her back.

"How did you know about your mother?" I asked.

She shifted uneasily. "Alice told me when we were feeding the hens."

Of course. I should of had known that the other children couldn't keep their mouths shut let alone be trusted with such a secret.

"Mummy hasn't gone to to heaven anyways." Rosalie yawned. "She told me once, 'Rosie, I'll always tell you where I'm going' and even if she had gone to heaven, she won't be long. That's the other thing she would always tell me as well, 'Won't be long, Rosie'."

She shut her eyes and pressed her lips together until finally she fell quiet. I glance down at the child who laid asleep in my arms. Motherless, and in charged. Who on earth would give a child to me? Perhaps she should go to a family after all. At least that way she wouldn't end up under the wheels of a tractor.

Eventually, I fell into a deep slumber until the slam of the front door woke me hours later. The last child into the house walloped it shut and now Rosalie quietly crying.

"No! No!" She pushed me. "I want to be alone!"

I drag myself out of bed and walk down the stairs. I started to prepare dinner along with Mrs. Uley while Edward and Emmett peeled potatoes.

"How did Rosalie mother die?" Edward wonder.

I gazed down at the soup. "She died in one of the bombings."

Emmett coughed. "Damn."

"Emmett." I warned. "Language."

"I'm afraid he's right for once." Mrs. Uley sighed. "Damn them those Germans."

"I still won't tolerate that certain type of language in my house."

"Yes ma'am." They all said in unison.

"Now boys only speak about this if Rosalie does. Please be as kind as you possibly can." I told them.

And just then, Rosalie came thudding down the stairs and both boys fell into a deathly unnatural quiet until Edward lifted her onto the kitchen stool and offered her a slice of potato. She ate it and begged for more as her tummy groan. I didn't offer Rosalie any toast because it would mean that later she would want one slice then two and possibly a third. And since the boys won't stand being left out... I could not waste any precious bread at the moment.

"She's as greedy as a pig!" Emmett spat. "She's going to eat all our food! Munch it all up until everything is gone!"

"Emmett that is not kind young man. Rosalie is as hungry as the rest of us." Mrs. Uley said.

Emmett huffed. "Dirty pig!"

"Emmett that's enough!" I growled. "She has her own coupons. And for that teasing, Emmett, you get to stack the dishes and wash them after supper."

"Not fair!"

The oldest boy storm out of the room while Rosalie eyes began to fill with tears.

"Oh Rose, darling, please don't cry." I plead. "There, there, darling."

"Don't take offense to that idiot. He's just being dramatic." Edward spoke.

Once all the kids were settled and sat at the kitchen table, I served each of them there portion of potato soup until Carlisle came home from work and they ran off to go play. Afterwards, Mrs. Uley, Carlisle, and I tackled the remains of the soup. The dish was very simple. It not only had potatoes as the main ingredient, but also some slice onion and brown in fat. Mrs. Uley also added a bit of salt and pepper to give it some flavor. We ate with relish, but Carlisle pick around his food and played with it.

"I'm sorry we missed the bus today, darling. Maybe if we would of catch it, I'd have made a better job of supper tonight." I admitted.

He smiled tiredly. "I wasn't blaming you. You were saddled with Rosalie. By the way- what on earth went wrong with Mr. Denali today?"

Mrs. Uley snickered. "What didn't go wrong?"

"Hush." I glared at her. "Nothing darling, just a bit of miscommunications."

"Miscommunications?" He raised a brow. "A child almost getting run over by a tractor is a miscommunication?"

"I'm sorry. I suppose I wasn't quite right today after all." I picked up my own bowel and then took his. "I wasn't actually _saddled_ with Rosalie today. We just set out too late and it won't happen again especially the tractor incident."

"Well, I hope not."

Mrs. Uley and I carried the dishes to the kitchen. When I returned alone, Carlisle was sitting in the living room with his head in both hands. I sat down on the floor besides him and rest my chin on his knees. After a moment passed, he lifted his head and stared at the curtained window.

"I passed a house today." He said. "The face was torn away, only gable remaining. It reminded me of someone I meant during the first Great War when I served as a lieutenant surgeon. Nothing left of that poor man below the brow line, yet somehow the man was still alive. Bandaged, of course. With a tube for breathing."

Carlisle didn't share often about his time during the first Great War. He had been a young doctor then, fresh out of med school and decided to enlist in the military as a army doctor. I barely knew him at the time, actually I don't think I came until much later. But I was aware of the effects that the war had left on him. He still woke up in the middle of the night screaming once in a while and I have to wrap both my arms around him and quietly sing him back to sleep. I'm not sure what he truly saw during that time, however, I cannot imagine what horrific cases that poor young man had to deal with. Just so young and pure at that particular time frame.

The horror reigned inside me for a long moment while I thought about the faceless man. Then I opened my palm and put my hand over his as I tried to utter out a few words.

"Next time." I told him. "How about I go with you?"

His own lips began to move. "It's no picnic out there Esme. Slag heaps of rubble and the damn smoke."

"Well then, I suppose you should better give me some tips."

A smiled lightly form on his face. "Such a practical girl."

Mrs. Uley came in from the kitchen bearing toast cut into fingers and sprinkled with a few grains of sugar.

"Dessert!" She announced.

We ate our sweet treat in silence before I climb back upstairs and put Rosalie to bed without opposition. I told her that tonight it was her turn to tell me a story, and so she did, one about the hens and Renee's bunnies.

"Did you know that mummy was killed in the raids?" She suddenly asked, on the edge of sleep. "That's what Emmett said while we were playing a game of cards before Edward slap his head."

I sat back down, a little stunned. "I was going to mention it to you, darling, but I thought I would wait until you were much older to understand the situation. You must forgive Emmett. Sometimes he doesn't think before he speaks-"

"Jasper said you can't come back from heaven." Her eyes were tearless. "You can look down though. Jasper said his daddy is looking down. He went up there after he blew up from a g-grenadee."

"Grenade." I corrected her.

"A grenade." She had said and rolled away. "Not a bomb."

She went to bed and after carefully running her words through my head, I eventually join her. Rosalie didn't break my night this time and when I woke early in the morning she was still asleep, motionless on her side, as her arm flung over the pillow. I watched her for some time before deciding that today I will try to do better. Get her some warm proper clothes- a coat perhaps and a few dresses. We'd have plenty of time if I went to the refugee camp early and got most of the important work done before breakfast. So I got up and dressed, told Mrs. Uley where I was off to, and then hop on my bicycle and paddled down the road. I preferred taking my bike instead of the motor vehicle. It added some exercise into my day and it was a lot quieter than the noisy car. Once I arrived to the hall, I set my bicycle to the side and enter the building. I could hear the chatters of a thousand people from a mile away. However, it oddly wasn't quite as busy today.

"Mrs. Cullen!" Exclaim Carmen Denali. "I heard you ran into my husband the other day!"

I felt myself blush. "Yes, unfortunately. What a stubborn man you married Carmen."

"Oh my yes." She chuckled. "Stubborn indeed."

"Where is everyone?"

"Home or found a home. Kate and Tanya have been working all hours of the day trying to relocate several of the evacuees somewhere else." Carmen admitted.

I nodded my head. "You're girls are saints."

"I'm not sure if 'saint' is the phrase I would describe them Esme." She smirked. "Irina had told me that she saw you yesterday running for the bus with a little girl."

"Word must travel quickly around your home."

"Oh yes, it rather does. Irina felt so sorry for you. She said she tried to get the old sourpuss of a driver to stop, but he wouldn't. How she felt for you."

"My goodness, yes. We missed it by a mile. Children." I shook my head as if knowingly.

"I expect that you'll be glad to get the little one settled." Carmen said. "James and Victoria are respectable people, I suppose. I've always found Victoria to be very... practical."

I let my fingers drop onto the clipboard that I holding, letting the pen fall to the ground.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bisset?"

"The farm up at the old Meador hill, yes. You sound like you got a frog stuck in you're throat! Mrs. Cullen please make sure to tie your scarf a little higher! A little cold has been going around, you know? Oh, Mrs. Cullen, are you off then?"

I fled out, coat unbuttoned. The cold air in my throat like pewter. I reach the house, skating on the damp flagstones of the path.

"Carlisle!" I called out.

His voice came, muffled, from our bedroom. I ran upstairs. He was sitting on the floor with Rosalie. Between them was her small peg dolls that Renee had gifted her for the holidays.

"The Bissets." I spoke. "Carmen Denali told me about the Bissets today."

"Yes." He levered himself to his feet. "I arranged it a few days ago. We got them in the nick of time. They were almost about to take a young girl from Liverpool. I've just been explaining it all to Rose. I thought it was important that we had a proper conversation about it as soon as she woke up."

Rosalie toured one of the peg dolls over the plumped cushion. "I am going to be with a family, you know Esme. They even have a puppy!"

"You telephoned." I looked at Carlisle. "Yesterday morning, while we were eating breakfast."

I sank down onto the bed. He came to sit beside me, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Darling-"

"Why didn't you tell me when I asked you yesterday?"

"I should have. I apologize."

In the mirror that hang on the wall, I watched Rosalie's face very closely. It was almost nothing, a barely perceptible tightening of the corners of her mouth. Many people wouldn't easily have notice, but I knew her face already.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Rosalie and I were thinking about packing a few of her belongings."

I got up and left the room. On the landing I paused and tried to suck in a few tears before I started to loose it. Carlisle followed me out, laid a hand on my shoulder, and withdrew it again when I didn't turn around.

"I love you so much."

"What?" The word broke out of me. "What's that got to do with anything?"

Rosalie opened the door. "Why are you taking so long!"

"Rosalie." I said. "Why don't you share some of your peg dolls with Bella? I'm sure she would love to play with you."

We went downstairs. Jasper and Alice were chattering away in the kitchen and Mrs. Uley was hanging the children's laundry on a clotheshorse in front of the sitting room fire. Carlisle and I slipped outside and sat on the bench in the garden. For a minute, we remain silent until he began speaking immediately.

"I can't have a child in this house. It's too dangerous."

I huffed. "What are you talking about? The house is full of children!"

"The children will no longer be safe in the house when the invasion hits."

"My god!" I shriek. "Have you even heard anything about a invasion? Has there been a warning? Carlisle-"

"No. Nothing like that." He spoke. "I'm simply looking to the future. If they invade, the children will all have to be moved."

"Why just Rosalie? Why aren't the rest of the children going?"

"Their families will take them when the moment comes." He said.

"And Alice?"

Carlisle sighed. "I will make arrangements for her as well."

"But what if their families don't come?"

"I'm not sure Esme." He was getting restless. "But with Rosalie and Alice it's different. Their lives have been shattered enough. We can't risk taking their roots here, and then having to be moved again. It wouldn't be fair. Rosalie will be on a farm, far from the roads, as safe as can be. There's no more we can do besides our duty."

The sun was lifting into the bare branches of the giant oak tree that sat in front of us. The tree and the sun were tainted now with a dreadful bitterness. If only Carlisle hadn't gone to the refugee camp the other day. If only he hadn't left and seen the city after the air raid.

"I should have gone with you yesterday." I admitted.

He laughed. "Yes, you should. And then you would of have seen the children, with tears running through the soot on their cheeks. But of course it'll be worse when the actual invasion occurs. You really should have seen France in the last Great War, Esme. Children where standing alone in crumbled houses, surrounded by the bodies of their families. That could happen to Rosalie or Alice or even Bella for bloody sake."

"I don't understand." I said in the end.

A long moment passed, Carlisle eyes were stilted against the early morning light, his face worn, and crumpled. Eventually, he stood up slowly, pushing his hands against his knees.

"Now let's put a end to this." He muttered. "Rosalie needs to get ready."


	5. Chapter 5

Rosalie raised her arms obediently as I pulled the night gown over heard. Her long blonde hair just barely touching her hips with those extraordinary ocean blue eyes, wide-set in a round face. And my goodness, nothing pleased me more than her adorable neat, plump little toes. I wondered if Mrs. Bisset will would look on her and marvel.

"Can I take you for walks?" I asked.

Her eyebrows knitted. "Just me or will you take Alice along as well?"

"If you must want."

"What about Bella or Edward?" She pondered.

"Whatever you want my darling."

I buttoned her dress and then carried her downstairs. As Rosalie ate her breakfast, I took hold of her freed hand and rubbed my thumb across her knuckles. The hand was small enough still for the fingers to radiate and very closely you could see her dimples. A crease at her wrist indicated that the she still had some of her babyish plumpness left. Her whole forearm I could take in my spread hand.

"Esme will you still be here when I come for a visit?"

I smiled a little to myself. "Of course sweetheart."

"And if mummy comes back, will you tell her that I'm at the Bisset's house?" She said suddenly. "I do understand that she's gone. But just in case."

"Yes, darling." I nodded my head. "Would you like anymore porridge?"

She shook her head. "It is not good when there's no sugar."

She washed her hands and stood next to Carlisle in the doorway, he already had his hat and coat ready to leave. He held Rosalie hand in his and tickled her every once in a while when she was trying to be naughty. She giggled and squealed happily, and for that astonishing glimpse of fatherliness, now that it was too late, made me want to strike him in the head. We piled into the motor car as it coughed and struggled into life.

I chewed on my bottom lip. "Do we have enough fuel?"

"About a teacupful left darling." Carlisle answered.

Which meant there would be no more until after Christmas. We should probably walk, but Rosalie was so little and it was very cold outside. And this way it was over with quicker. Rosalie sat in the vehicle and carried her bag holding the few clothes I had left for her to wear. I didn't really know what to do. Whether if I should sit by Carlisle and try to persuade him one last time that we should be against giving her away, or beside Rosalie and savor these few short moments with her.

Carlisle opened the passenger door for me and then paused. "Sweetheart, would you prefer to stay here? It might be easier-"

"No, no." I interrupted him. "I'll join and make sure Rose is comfortable."

I got into the back beside Rosalie and held her close to me. She allowed it without much trouble. She gazed out of the window intently, as if she was unfolding the panorama instead of the dank stretch of winter hedgerow. We drove out of the village and up the lane shrouded in bare trees. The line of the hill traveled upward along with us. I didn't know much about Mr. and Mrs. Bisset other than they were from France and moved to England after the first Great War. I believed they had at least two children of their own; Alec who was nine and Jane had just turned five. I heard several rumors regarding their family, however, I trusted that Carlisle knew what he was doing especially when it came to Rosalie.

When the gate was in sight Carlisle drew the car to a halt. "We are here."

"I don't think I like the look of those ruts." Rosalie commented.

Carlisle help us out of the car and we walked the remaining distance to the frosty, deserted yard. A giant grey hound loped toward us.

Rosalie put out her hand. "Puppy!"

The dog gave a long, ripping growl and she snatched her hand back again. I moved her away from the dog and closer to the front porch.

"Not all dogs are good, Rosie." I reminded her. "And that's also not a puppy. Possibly a small horse maybe."

Mrs. Bisset appeared at the front door. Her read hair was scraped into a round bun on the top of her head and she had blood running from tips of her toes to her forearm.

"Hunting season." She said. "James just caught a wild animal near the farm today. We suppose we should cook it for supper instead of letting it go to waste. Now look at this little one. Oh my lord, I was not aware how small she was. I thought she'd be at least eight or nine. Let's hope she's a behave one. I can't deal with snotty children."

I frowned. "You can't seem to deal with misbehaved children, however, you're okay with allowing the dog to attack a stranger?"

Carlisle face flushed as he look away.

But Mrs. Bisset gave a roaring laugh. "Keep clear of Thunder, dear. He'll give you a nasty nip. Friend or no friend. He don't mean nothing by it, it's his job."

Rosalie wound her hands into the front of her dress, her pale turning pale and uncertain.

"Mrs. Bisset." I spoke as steady as I could muster. "May we come in? It's awfully cold outside."

"Oh yes, please do come in." She spoke.

Her kitchen was dark, somewhat clean and full of children. They all rose to their feet with many scrapes of shoes against the hard wood floor as Mrs. Bisset introduced everyone.

She cleared her throat. "I have two of my own. Alec and Jane. And then we took in Sam, Emily, Embry, Seth, and Leah. Not really my choice, but I guess you do what you have to do."

"I wasn't aware that there was other children." Carlisle gulped.

"Surprise."

Alec and Jane didn't resemble much of their mother. Jane had blonde hair that was darker than Rosalie while Alec's was brown. I looked around the room at the other children and notice that they were filthy and wore holes in their clothes. They look a bit starved as well unlike Alec and Jane.

"Have you got the coupons, dear?" Mrs. Bisset greedily asked.

Rosalie squeezed my fingers.

"Excuse us Mrs. Bisset. I need to speak to my husband privately."

"Didn't fancy it, did you?" Mrs. Bisset spoon tea into a pot. "Little ones tend to bawl when things don't go their way."

"Please, tea is not necessary-"

"Don't worry, madam. It's not for you. Jane craves a tad bit of syrup in her tea every once in a while." She said to Rosalie, who was standing besides me and didn't so much as nod. "Mmm. Another one with no manners. No syrup to those who can't speak. Oh heavens. We'll have to do something about that."

I took Rosalie by the hand and we left Mrs. Bisset considering what precisely she would do about Rosalie's manners. Carlisle followed us out and I led Rosalie back to the car. She skidded on an icy puddle and I tugged her upright before she fell, my legs almost shaking so much that I too about lost my footing.

"I am not leaving her here Carlisle!" I hissed.

"I thought they had a puppy!" Rosalie stood, trying to reconcile it all. "I do like dogs, but that one is very mean! I don't think I could bare living with him!"

Carlisle looked from Rosalie to me. "Get in the car and keep warm. I will have a talk with Mrs. Bisset."

We waited ten minutes or so before Carlisle made his way back to us. He got into the car without speaking and started the engine. As we jolted down the road, he made a sort of flapping gesture to me with one hand.

"Rosalie won't be staying there." He had said. "They lied to us about the puppy. Plus the dog was too nasty anyways."

We arrived home after a while and Mrs. Uley appeared on the front porch and silently held out her hand for Rosalie. The other children busied themselves in the garden, playing and running through the cabbage. Soon Carlisle and I were alone in the kitchen.

"Just because I wouldn't leave her with that vile women-"

"Doesn't mean you won't find someone else." I sighed. "A more friendly farmer's wife. I understand. You've already made yourself clear."

He shook his head as we stood in the dim light of the kitchen. He touched my face with his finger tips and slowly brought his face to mine. Something I usually adored, but today my skin felt numb. He tried to move his lips against mine, but gave up once he realize that I wasn't going to give in that easily. I wanted to grab some scrap of the man that I had loved out of this terrible situation. Expect I found nothing besides my dead cold heart.

"Esme please."

I moved out of his arms. "I'm going to bed with Rosalie. We're both exhausted."

"Alright... I love you."

It was twelve in the afternoon, but I knew a little nap wouldn't hurt us both. Rosalie followed me up the stairs without giving me any trouble. I laid her down in bed and read her a short bedtime story until her eyes began to close. I wrap the blankets around her tighter and snuggled up against her little body.

"Esme?" She breathed.

"Yes darling?"

She frowned. "Where am I going next?"

"No where." I told her.

"No where?" She repeated. "But Carlisle said-"

"Do not mind him Rosalie."

She nodded a bit. "Okay."

And after that she slowly fell into a deep slumber while I stared at the ceiling and allowed her to sleep.

Christmas came across the corner sooner than what we expected. Frost-spikes hang off the window still like a phantom's glassy fingers. The pine sweet smell of the tree ghosts through the room, mixing with the oaken oven scents. Outside the window, the world is a moonscape of white. Jack Frost's fangs have bitten deep into the flesh and blood of the earth, leaving it clay- cold and drained. The sound of laughter came to my ears. The children had been up early, hoping that the greatest illusionist of them all had visited. Swag-bellied Santa with his whiskey-nosed and chipmunk cheeked character which is a sorcerer of a special sort. He is indeed a joy to the world and the children's happiness proved it. I gazed up at the Christmas tree as it flashed and flickered with its dazzling lights. An angel was perched on the top, glittering with a mint sliver luster. I reclined back in my armchair, resting my head for a while. When I woke up, it was to the greatest sound of them all- the Christmas dinner bell. I sighed with pleasure and followed the smells and laughter to my chair.

"Carlisle!" Renee shriek. "How on earth did you get yourself a tree this year? Knowing very darn well that the war would not have it?"

Carlisle snickered. "That's a secret my dear friend."

"Well you little arse-"

"Renee!"

She rolled her eyes. "Come on Esme. It's not like these children haven't heard it before."

"Bloody hell!" Rosalie smirked.

"Ya see!"

I set my head on the dining room table and gently bang it against the wood a couple of times. We always host Christmas dinner with our close friends every year. The war had limit us of course and we weren't able to have our usual feast.

_The joy of Christmas seemed to have been poured into the thyme filled turkey. It tasted heavenly as glasses clinked, laughter rang out and the candles were a flicker with delight. The buttery potatoes went down as well as the sparkling champagne that tasted divine and glasses were a glitter from the fire._

However, this year we would feast upon macaroni cheese. It was still delicious though, all that baked hot milk and flour and those shavings of cheese. Mrs. Uley had taught me how to make the body of the dish with milk only, and as much salt as was tasty, and to reserve the cheese slivers for the top. It was more important that we were surrounded by our close friends. Renee came over and I begged Mrs. Uley to bring her grandson, Jacob, so the boys would have someone to play with. The children had entertain themselves for hours with their new toys.

"Mrs. Cullen!" Edward exclaim. "Look how high my new plane can fly!"

I smiled. "So high son."

As Carlisle promise, he went out to the toy store and purchase both Edward and Emmett a new air craft for getting their hair cuts. Jasper, however, wasn't very fancy about planes and instead pick out a army truck and a few men. Alice and Bella received a few new dresses (sewed by me) and matching fascinator's for church. Carlisle spoiled Rosalie with a few dollies and even new peg dolls to go along with her old ones. I had sewed her a few dresses for her dolls and she spent all day trying to find the perfect one for supper.

Renee lean closer and whispered. "So I see the girl is still here. What happen?"

"Nothing." I shrugged. "We simply couldn't give her away so close to Christmas. It wouldn't of been fair."

"Mmmm. I suppose you'll tell me the full story later."

"What 'full story'?" I acted dumb.

Renee laughed. "Don't give me that crap Esme Anne Cullen. I can read you're face from a mile away. Plus.. when did you get so soft for children?"

"I guess they grew on me." I grinned.

"Hmmm."

Later that night, we tuck the older children into bed and took turns reading to them until they fell into a peaceful slumber. Carlisle carried Rosalie, who fell asleep long before Christmas was over with, into Alice and Bella room. I felt awful seeing him try to sleep on the lumpy couch, so we built bunk beds for the two girls and moved a bed in for Rosalie. He carefully laid her down and pried her little arms off his neck. She slightly whined and he sat down on the edge of the bed and stroke her hair until she settled down.

"Ssssh Rosie." He hummed. "Go to sleep angel."

Rosalie held his hand close to her heart and all of the sudden I felt a tear slip from my eye. She never had a father to tuck her in at night and my poor husband... all he ever wanted was to be a father especially to Rose. It's the closest thing he's gotten to a daughter and that's all my fault..

I've been too selfish to bear one of his own and he's done everything for me.

Carlisle leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight sweetheart."

He carefully stood up and slowly removed his hand from her grasp. Rosalie turned over on her side and decided to cuddle her teddy bear instead. He took my hand and walked me out.

"Darling, what's wrong?"

I shake my head. "Nothing dear."

"Esme." His voice grew serious. "You're crying. What on earth is the matter my love?"

"Nothing." I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess I'm just.. happy."

"Oh sweetheart."

He took me into his arms and I held onto him tightly. I felt my chest tighten and I struggled to take a breath in as I fought a few tears back. We stayed that way for some time before he led me down the hall to our bedroom. Carlisle closed the door quietly behind him and crossed the room to where I was standing. He stroke my cheek and then brought his lips to mine. It was a deep passionate kiss, but still light enough for me to want more. He chuckled when I tried to deepen the kiss more.

"In a hurry?" Carlisle teased.

"With you... always."

We made love several times that night until the sun slowly started to rise and I laid utterly exhausted on our bed. However, Carlisle was still on top of me, placing small kisses down my chest.

"My goodness! Do you ever stop?" I laughed.

He smirked. "I'm sorry darling, I can't help but to ravish every inch of you're perfect form."

"Mmmm."

He pulled me into his arms and I rest my head on his chest. We were quiet for some time and then I decided to speak first.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes. beautiful?"

I giggled. "Stop it! You're going to make me blush!"

"That's not my fault!" He chuckled.

"Anyways." I rolled my eyes. "One time.. we talk about children and you had mention Rosalie a few times. How maybe we could have our own Rosalie in the future."

"And?"

"And.." I stuck in a breath. "Well.. what if.. we have a Rosalie of our own? Maybe not now, but later when the time is right."

All of the sudden I felt him freeze and I almost started to panic. Oh no.. is it too late? Was I a fool for asking after all?

"Carlisle?" I muttered.

"Wow." He said. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I suppose it's a Christmas miracle."

We laid still for a couple of minutes and I began to worry that I truly upset him. However, he rubbed small soothing circles around my back which gave me the hint that he wasn't mad... just processing it all.

"Why now?" Carlisle ask.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess the children grew on me."

"Sweetheart.."

"What?" I raised a brow. "Do you not what to have children anymore?"

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I just don't understand why you changed your mind so suddenly. There has to be a reason behind it."

"Well.." I sighed.

I began to explain the events taken place in my past. I told him about my mother who passed away and how I ended up in the orphanage along with my brother. He held me in his arms while I cried and confessed that my older brother no longer wanted us and then eventually I was rape by the janitor. Carlisle jaw clench and I felt a low growl interrupt from his chest. I quickly mention a few details regarding the rape and then moved on so I wouldn't upset him some more. I also finally admitted that after the rape, I found out I was pregnant and lost my baby after a few months. I only carried the fetus for three months before I miscarriage and thankfully no one knew besides Renee. Although I was grateful that I no longer had to carry my rapist baby, I also felt a deep sadness that I never got the chance to meet the little one or know whether if it was a boy or a girl. It will forever be a mystery. And that's honestly the reason why I didn't desire to have my own children for the longest time. I was afraid that possibly I couldn't naturally bear a child or something terrible such as another miscarriage will happen and I'll lose another baby.

I'm not sure if I could go through that again.

"Oh sweetheart." Carlisle held me tighter. "Why didn't you tell me sooner darling?"

"I'm so sorry." I cried.

"Ssssh angel." He kissed my forehead. "I honestly have no words. I could tear that man apart for doing what he did to you, however, I'm just thankful that God put our paths together and I can now show you what true love is."

"I was so afraid of disappointing you. That maybe after hearing my story you would no longer want me."

"Esme." Carlisle said very seriously. "Nothing in this world could ever make me love you less. If anything, I love you more for this because I see what a strong beautiful women you are and I'm proud to have you as my wife."

I sniffed. "Really?"

"Really." He chuckled. "And you don't have to bear children for me dear. We don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"No, I want it. I want to finally have a family and a child who is made out of love. Our love."

"If that's what you want hun." He leaned closer.

"Pinky promise."

His lips pressed against mine and although it was already morning and the children would be up soon... that didn't stop us from doing it at least one more time.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke Carlisle right beside me. I stroked the back of his neck with my finger, but he didn't stir. I decided to get out of bed and walk down the hall to the girl's room. I open the door and found Rosalie sound asleep, sucking her thumb.

She was seven years old now and her emerging big teeth were pushed out a little by the endless sucking of her thumb. However, she was still perfect in every way. She grew a few inches taller and she was a lot more slender now. There was no crease in her wrists anymore, but when she raised her arms above her head, they were still babyish and smooth. Her forearms were rounded and her hands were soft with stubby fingers. I still brushed her gorgeous blond hair as it straightened and thickened. Her blue eyes gleam in the sunlight as she runs around with the other children. The older children have grown quite fond of Rosalie lately. Emmett and Edward protect her from the bullies at school and more importantly the other little boys who stare at her, while Bella and Alice enjoy dressing her up in endless amount of clothing.

Yes, Rosalie was quite loved in our household by everyone.

I pulled her blankets to the side and dragged her sleeping legs to the edge of the bed. She somewhat obeyed and started to wake up.

"Dear Esme, why must you wake me so early?" She whined.

I chuckled. "Hush my love and come along."

She followed me out of the room and into our bed, still sleepy and slightly irritated (although this was our usual morning routine). She laid on top of me and pressed her hot cheek against my chest. However, she smelled heavenly from her bath the night before. _Fresh lavender. One of my favorite scents. _

Carlisle rolled over and I couldn't tell whether if he opened his eyes or not.

"Good heavens." I heard him mumbled.

I giggled. "She can't help that she talks in her sleep."

"Well, she has given herself away this time."

"What on Earth is she dreaming about?" I wondered.

"Swimming in the pond behind the house." He replied. "And catching frogs with Emmett and Edward."

"Isn't it still fenced in with barbed wire and animal traps?"

He nodded. "It's still dangerous. Not a good spot for a child. I'll take a look at it and see what I can do. I figured with spring approaching that the children would want to swim, especially once summer comes along."

He pushed himself into a sitting position and leaned down to kiss the top of Rosalie's head.

"Good morning princess."

Rosalie stirred, but she didn't dare wake up. Carlisle got out of bed and I moved us to the middle of the mattress.

It was early March (1943) and the trees were beginning to shed their winter covers. Spring was approaching, which meant that our days were full of bright sunshine and blue skies that sung of the summer to come. Once in a while, there were still days of cloud filtered rays and the dreaded rain. But it was mostly peaceful. After Christmas, I had expected Carlisle to resume his search for a home for Rosalie, however, he allowed her to stay with us and promise that he wasn't going to attempt at finding a new location for her.

"Possibly it's better if she stayed with us." He had said. "She comfortable with the house and I've seen the way she makes you smile. I think it would be unfair to remove her from a place that she has grown to love."

And so… Rosalie has been apart of our family ever since. I brought up adoption to Carlisle once, but he wants to wait and make sure that Rosalie's relatives won't last-minute step and try to take her. Selfishly, I didn't want the police to find anyone or have them take away my precious girl. It didn't seem fair, considering that Rosalie was starting to feel comfortable with her new home. Why should we take that away from her? She already lost so much.

Besides Rosalie's adoption, we were also attempting to have a baby. We've been trying to conceive for almost two years and I was beginning to feel a bit restless. Carlisle ensured me that it'll happen when God says it's the right time, but I'm worried that maybe my body isn't up to it anymore. My last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and I'm fearful that I might not be able to have children. I've tried everything to make myself feel hopeful about the situation. The slightest signs of pregnancy always put me in high spirits. But it usually ends in disappointment.

"Mrs. Uley! Look!" I exclaim. "Don't you see a small bump? I'm beginning to look differently."

Mrs. Uley shook her head, smiling sadly. "Mrs. Cullen you just ate two bowls of porridge. You're bloated sweetheart."

I pouted my lips and stuck my belly out a little further. It looks more round than usual and I could have sworn that my feet were swollen just the other day. I put my hand over the small bump, determined to find something.

"Esme." Mrs. Uley spoke carefully. "You're not pregnant, my dear. I was a midwife during my early stages. You have no symptoms of pregnancy and you actually look skinner than before. I think Dr. Cullen would agree with me."

"Agree with what?" Carlisle walked in from the back door.

"I'm growing fat!"

Carlisle snickered. "Esme you are anything but fat. Where would you even get such an idea?"

"I want to be fat though!" I whined. "That means I'm possibly pregnant."

Carlisle took my cheeks in his hands. "Be patient, my love. I promise that I will give you a baby someday. Until then, we have to wait for the right timing."

"But you're not getting any younger."

And it was true. Carlisle was going to turn thirty-two in a few weeks and I just had my twenty-fourth birthday. What if we waited too late? If only I hadn't been so foolish in the past…

Carlisle sighed. "Patience, my dear."

He leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against mine. It started as just a kiss, but soon I had my hands in his hair and my mouth felt hungry for his taste. However, Mrs. Uley coughed and Carlisle slowly pulled away.

"Really?" I hissed at her.

Carlisle chuckled and kissed my forehead. "She not pregnant, but she definitely hormonal."

"Am not!" I shriek.

"Esme Ann." He replied. "How about we just focus on today? It is a rather important day."

I nodded my head. "I suppose you're right."

"Always right."

I rolled my eyes and set the breakfast table. We had received a telephone call from Emmett and Edward's mother a few weeks ago. Mr. Masen recovered from his injuries he endured in the war and the army decided to ship him back home. The poor fellow lost one of his limbs and the doctors suspected that he would suffer from PTSD for as long as he lived. I tried explaining to the boys that their father was coming back a very different man, but I failed at my explanation and they seem more confused.

"What do you mean 'different'?" Edward wondered.

Emmett snorted. "She means that Pops leg was blown off."

"Emmett McCarty Masen." I scolded him. "You're father isn't feeling so well… mentally. I will not have you pester him with your silly nonsense. You boys must offer your support during his time of need. Yes, he's going to look different and he may act strange. However, you will treat him with the uttermost respect. Do you understand?"

The two boys nodded and then I spent the next hour explaining what their mother had told me. Mr. Masen was expected to arrive home in just a few days and Mrs. Masen thought it was time to bring the boys back to their new residence in Southampton. I question Elizabeth's decision and I tried to talk some sense into her, but she reassured me that they would be safe in the town.

"Mrs. Cullen." She chuckled over the phone.

"Please, call me Esme."

"Esme," Elizabeth repeated. "Southampton hasn't been bomb in a very long time. Besides, it will allow Edward Sr. to return to his profession. He was a successful lawyer before the war."

"Yes, I think Edward mention it a time or two. But Elizabeth the boys are much safer in the country." I tried to reason with her.

"We possibly couldn't waste any more of your time," Elizabeth spoke. "We do appreciate all you and Dr. Cullen have done for our children."

I frowned. "It was no trouble at all. We've grown to love Emmett and Edward."

"Esme, please." She begged. "I can tell by the letters that the boys have written to me that they love and cherish you just the same. However, I'm missing my children right now. Please, send them back. I think it will raise Edward Sr. spirits to hear their laughter and to see their smiles again."

We agreed afterward that Emmett and Edward would take the train back to Southampton. I felt weary about the subject, but they weren't my children and I couldn't go against what they're mother had ordered. The train was supposed to be leaving at noon and Carlisle had bought the tickets beforehand. It was out of my control now.

"Boys! You better hurry before your porridge grows cold!" Mrs. Uley yelled upstairs.

"Carlisle are sure they will be okay in Southampton?" I whispered.

Carlisle hesitated for a second. "I-I think they will be fine."

"Carlisle!"

"Esme, it is not our decision." He stated, dryly. "Mrs. Masen asked for us to return her children home and we shall do so."

Mrs. Uley slightly patted my arm as she walked passed me and I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. Mrs. Masen and Carlisle had made their minds up and there was no use in arguing with them. I almost cried a little when I heard Emmett and Edward race each other down the stairs. I realized that it was for the last time and I would never hear Emmett shout over the breakfast table again.

"Too slow Eddy boy!" Emmett teased.

Edward protested. "Not fair! You're bigger than me!"

"Boys please do settle down at the table and eat your breakfast." Mrs. Uley begged.

The two boys took their seats at the table and ate their bowl of porridge in peace. I started to notice the difference between them. Emmett was slowly becoming a young man and Carlisle had been teaching him how to shave the small hairs underneath his chin. He was developing rather fast and it was almost impossible to keep him fed. I warned Elizabeth that he enjoyed warmed milk in his porridge and he didn't really like butter, so instead, I sprinkle some sugar on his butter toast to help with the taste. Emmett was still overbearing at times and I was afraid his loud booming voice would frighten his father. We worked on being calm these past few weeks and I was seeing some slight improvements.

Edward, on the other hand, had grown to be my buddy. I taught him how to play the piano and his talents amazed me. He was beginning to write small lullabies for Rosalie that he usually played every night before she went to sleep. We also exchange books with each other quite often and I enjoyed discussing our readings together. Edward was growing up to be a marvelous young man and I was disappointed that I was going to miss his ninth birthday.

If only we had more time together…

"Mrs. Cullen I have decided something," Edward confessed.

I grinned. "What is it, son?"

"I want to join the military once I become of age."

Carlisle chuckled slightly. "Son, you have plenty of time before you have to make such decisions."

"I want to fight in the great war and defend our country just like my father. And maybe afterward I could study law or medicine."

"Medicine?" I raised a brow.

Edward beam. "Dr. Cullen is a doctor."

I glance at my husband and I knew he was resisting the urge to throw Edward up in the air and hug him. He tried focusing on the newspaper before him, but I saw the sparkle in his eye.

"But first I'm going to become a war hero and join the military. Do you think the war will last that long?" Edward asked.

I sighed. "I hope not."

Once the boys finished their breakfast, Mrs. Uley fed the other children and I help Carlisle pack the car with their luggage. Emmett and Edward said their goodbyes and I tried to stuck in my tears. Rosalie wouldn't let go of Emmett's legs and I thought for a minute that Mrs. Uley was about to do the same.

"Behave yourself Emmett Masen." Mrs. Uley said, glaring.

Emmett snickered. "Yes, ma'am."

She shook her head and gave the young boy another hug. "I will secretly miss you."

"Rosalie let go of Emmett, dear," I told her.

She cried. "Don't leave Em!"

"Hey! Who said I was leaving?" He ruffled her hair. "We'll see each other again Rose. I promise."

"Pinky promise?" Rosalie pouted her lips.

"Pinky promise."

"Children we must hurry before the train leaves." Carlisle interrupted.

We loaded up in the car and the boys waved goodbye to the others as we pulled out of the driveway. We were fortunate to get to the station just minutes before the train departed. Carlisle and I hugged the boys quickly and hurried them on. They found their seats and pulled the window down.

"Don't be sad Mrs. Cullen!" Emmett yelled. "You won't miss me at all!"

"Emmett you twit! I will miss you every day!" I spat.

He smirked. "I will miss you too mom."

_Mom. _I felt my heart stop for a minute.

"Don't forget about us!" Edward shouted.

"Be safe boys," Carlisle replied. "Call or write if you need anything."

We waved goodbye as the train started it's engine and began to pull away. I chuckled when Emmett began to cheer and scream out the window, causing a few stares amongst the crowd. Eventually, the train picks up speed and they were slowly beginning to fall out of sight. Carlisle and I stood at the platform for a few minutes before he grabbed my hand and took us back to the automobile. It was strange going home empty-handed and the house seems quieter without the boys wrestling and running around upstairs. I retired to our bedroom and allowed myself to finally release my emotions. I don't understand why I'm sulking at the moment. They weren't even my children! However, Emmett had called me mom and for the first time, I felt like a mother.

"Sweetheart?" Carlisle knocked on the door.

"Don't come in!" I whaled.

Carlisle opens the door and walked to my bedside.

"Ssssh." He wrapped his arms around me. "It's going to be okay."

I turned and buried my face in his neck. "He called me mom!"

"And you did a wonderful job taking care of those boys."

"It wasn't enough," I argued.

"Esme," Carlisle spoke. "It was time for them to return home. We did everything that was needed to be done so they could be reunited with their parents. Think of how happy they're going to be once they see Mr. and Mrs. Masen again."

"I miss already." I felt selfish.

Carlisle kissed the top of my head. "I know, dear. I miss them too."

We laid in bed for the remainder of the night. Mrs. Uley took care of the other children and even put them to sleep. Carlisle did have to help her with Rosalie because she became fussy once she realized that Edward wasn't there to play her favorite lullaby. I could hear screams from down the hallway.

"I am not tired!" She roared. "I do not want to go to bed!"

Eventually, she grew tired from her tantrum and Carlisle said she fell asleep on the floor. He carried Rosalie back to her bedroom and stayed there for a few minutes before returning to me.

I worried all night about Edward and Emmett. I hope they liked their new house in Southampton and I also prayed that Elizabeth made the right decision. Carmen had told me that Southampton had another raid three months prior and it left devasting effects on the city. Her friends who lived there were forced to flee from their home and now they're struggling to try to find another place to stay. I didn't quite understand Elizabeth's reasoning. Why wouldn't they just stay somewhere in the country? If we had more room and food available, I would have offered them to live with us. I understand that Edward Sr. has some family who lives in Southampton that could offer their support, but why risk their children lives? What if another bombing occurs? Edward isn't as bulky as Emmett. His legs are so small that he couldn't possibly run as fast. And Elizabeth would have to help Edward Sr. and… and…

"Esme honey you're shaking," Carlisle commented.

I sobbed. "I just want them back so bad Carlisle. Safe in my arms."

"Sweetheart they are safe. They're are shielded and protected in their parent's arms." He rubbed my back.

"What if something happens to them?"

"We can't think like that Esme. We must try and stay positive. Now go to bed."

I sighed and closed my eyes. I imagine Emmett goofy grin and Edward's tall fingers gliding over the piano. For a minute, I thought I could still hear his music downstairs.

"I'll never forget them," I said out loud.

Carlisle's voice shook slightly. "I won't either."

**Author Note: I usually never write any notes after a story, but I thought my readers deserve an explanation! I am terribly sorry to keep everyone waiting! I sort of lost my inspiration for this story. But now since I have extra**

**time with the Coronavirus outbreak... I promise to get this one finish! :) Thank you to everyone who's been patiently waiting! These next chapters might be a little bland... but I promise the juicy stuff is about to come! **

**xoxo, stay safe out there!**


	7. Chapter 7

A few weeks passed and I was missing Emmett and Edward terribly. The house no longer felt complete without them in our family. I still found myself searching for Emmett in the courtyards with his football or sitting alone at the piano bench waiting for Edward to join me. I tried to distract my mind by planning Alice's thirteenth birthday party and teaching Jasper how to read and write. But nothing seems to work. My mind still wandered to the two little boys that I adored and I hope that they were okay.

"The kitchen is a lot quieter without Emmett running around, trying to steal bread." Mrs. Uley commented.

"Yes." I sighed. "It is rather unusual. It will take some time getting used to it."

Mrs. Uley slightly grinned. "Esme you look differently."

"What?"

She nodded her head. "Your bosoms look fuller."

"Mrs. Uley I've barely changed my bra size." I rolled my eyes. "Besides, it's unladylike to discuss such a subject. I think my breasts are just fine."

Mrs. Uley shrugged her shoulders. "Suit yourself. What do I know?"

I almost began to question her reasoning, but then I noticed the clock and I had to abandon my bread in the bowl. The school day was coming to a close and I needed to go pick up Rosalie. I didn't quite trust Alice to get her home yet, so we made an agreement. I would take care of Rosalie and she would walk Bella and Jasper. I went out to the garage for my bicycle and rode it down to the school. Once I arrived, Rosalie climbed onto the makeshift backseat of the bicycle and I strained on the peddles and set off.

"Esme, when will you teach me how to ride a bike?" She asked.

I laughed. "When pigs fly."

"Please teach me now!" She pleaded.

"Rosalie, sssh." I heard some rumbling from behind. "I think the soldiers are coming."

I stop the bike on the side of the road as two army lorries passed us, each one creating a diesel gust. Renee had heard that the soldiers were heading to France and there was also talk about a possible invasion, but I knew that could just be gossip. You can't always listen to what everyone says, although the word _invasion _still shooked me to the very core.

"Where are they going?" Rosalie wondered.

"To camp," I replied.

"Yes, but all the soldiers can't be sitting at camp," Rosalie spoke. "Mike told me they're going to be ship to France."

"Nonsense, Rose. Nobody knows that for sure and we must not speak of it."

"Esme-"

"Rosalie when were you going to tell me about the pond?" I interrupted.

The soldiers passed and I peddled back on the road. I didn't like talking about politics and I especially didn't enjoy talking about it with my eight year old. I might as well bring up her dream from a few weeks ago since Carlisle never addressed it.

"I do beg your pardon!" She shriek. "It's impolite to interrupt someone!"

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, you know darn well what I'm talking about."

"What pond?" She grinned devilishly.

I raised my brow. "You said it in your sleep."

"I expect it was just a dream then."

"Rosalie…"

"What? It's been getting so hot and I want to swim Esme!" She cried.

I exhaled. "Darling, it's dangerous down there. Carlisle going to clean it up just a tad and then you can go swimming. Deal?"

"Deal." She agreed. "When are we going to see Renee again? I wish I lived at her house."

"And why's that?"

"Because she always got sugar and she has bunnies."

"We'll see Renee soon," I assured her.

I peddled us back home and set the bicycle against the shed. Rosalie ran into the house and begged Mrs. Uley for a piece of toast. She was a very small child with a rather large appetite. I usually prepared her an after school snack before the rest of the children return home. If not, then I would hear her cry for hours about how hungry she was.

_Dear God, help me. _

"Mrs. Cullen you would never believe who I ran into today at the market." Mrs. Uley said.

"And who would that be?" I asked.

"Victoria Bisset with her dozen children."

I snorted. "That woman is a naff."

"The puppy was not very nice," Rosalie added.

Mrs. Uley snickered. "Well, you'll never believe what I saw."

"Oh?"

"She expecting!"

I winced. "Expecting?"

Rosalie saw the look of discomfort in my eyes and hugged my waist. I slightly smiled and patted her head. It's difficult to imagine that someone like Victoria Bisset (an awful woman) would be given the gift of life. It didn't seem quite fair, considering I would be a better mother. She could barely take care of her children now. I'm not sure what she would do with another one.

"Esme I didn't mean to-"

I shook my head. "It's fine Mrs. Uley. Thank the heavens that Carlisle didn't leave Rosalie with that wrench. I would have never allowed it."

"He wouldn't either." Mrs. Uley agreed.

Out in the hall, the letterbox flapped and I heard the mailman wish us a good day. Rosalie hurried over and pick up the stack of letters. She loved retrieving the mail (I'm not sure why) and she would stalk the mailman until he finally came to deliver our things. She returns with a long white envelope in her hand and gives it to me.

"What lovely stamps." She commented. "May I have them? They would look beautiful in my collection!"

I chuckled. "I suppose."

I fumbled my fingers against the envelope and pulled out the letter. I read its words quietly to myself.

_Dear Mrs. Cullen, _

_You probably don't remember me, but we meant some time ago. I had some information regarding the young child in your care. Although I couldn't provide you with much knowledge at the time, I wanted to let you know that I have received more news about the blonde little girl's family. I've meant her father who is so desperately searching for his daughter. I thought you would like to know that he is out there, investigating the streets of London. If you would like to learn more, please meet me in London and I will tell you everything I know. I will be waiting for you at the bus stop across the cafe in Kensington on the 22nd of March. _

_Please do not leave me empty-handed. Take care. _

_Sincerely, _

_A Friend _

I felt the nausea crept up from my abdomen and to my head. My skin began to look pale as if I had been painted with whitewash - even my lips started to feel numb. I let my head fall back a little and it crumpled like a puppet suddenly released from its strings. All of a sudden my stomach gave out and the world went black.

A few minutes passed and I woke to Mrs. Uley and the children staring down at me. Alice tilted her head and leaned in.

"Mrs. Cullen I think you've grown a wrinkle on your forehead." She said.

"Alice Mary!" Mrs. Uley scolded. "Now is not the time!"

"Is she dead?" Rosalie nervously asked.

Bella huffed. "If she were dead, then her eyes wouldn't be open."

"Children please!" Mrs. Uley pleaded.

Carlisle appeared in the corner of my vision. "Sweetheart! What on Earth happen?"

"The toast is burning!" Rosalie shriek.

Mrs. Uley sprang away as Carlisle bent down and took my hands. He slowly pulled me up and helped me sit up into a chair.

"I'm alright." I breathed.

"She fainted!" Alice told him. "She read a letter and then she fainted!"

Jasper picked up the piece of paper on the floor and handed it to Carlisle. He studied it for some time while Rosalie stood beside me, leaning against my side. My head began to pound in my skull and I almost felt the urge to vomit.

Bella stood on her tiptoes and looked over his shoulder. "Who is it from?"

Carlisle moved out of the way. "No one. Just some silly person. Nothing for us to worry about."

"Why would a silly person write us a letter?" Rosalie frowned.

"Don't lean so hard against Esme, darling." He corrected her. "She feeling a bit faint."

"But-"

"Now Rosie we can discuss this later. Why don't you go eat your toast? I'm going to bring Mrs. Cullen upstairs to rest."

She grabbed his tie and pulled him down to her level. "May I have a kiss on my departing? Please?"

Carlisle kissed the side of her cheek and then help me upstairs. Once I was settled into bed, I started to feel a little bit better and Mrs. Uley brought up some tea for my headache. I sip on it slowly as Carlisle re-read the letter in his hands.

"This just doesn't make sense." He disclaimed.

"What do we do?"

Carlisle shook his head. "Not go to London."

"But we must! At least, I have to!" I insisted.

"Esme." He hissed. "I am not allowing you to travel to London and possibly be trapped by whoever this narcissist is. It could be a tricked."

"Why would someone trick us."

"I'm not sure." He spoke.

I sighed. "Carlisle what if her father really is out there? Searching for her? We should at least investigate just to confirm whether or not he exists."

"We will allow the authorities to do it. It is their job."

"The authorities are not going to do anything about it!" I argued. "They're as useless as a dog with bones!"

Carlisle's face softened. "My love you are my wife and my entire world. I will not risk it. I will not sacrifice the person I love more than anything on this planet. Besides, London is not safe at the moment and I don't feel comfortable with you adventuring on your own."

"The letter was addressed to me."

"And I am your husband." He said. "I do not give you permission to go."

I frowned. "Carlisle I'm twenty-four. Not nineteen."

He chuckled. "Mhmm except you were nineteen when I first meant you."

"That's beyond the point."

Carlisle groan. "Why must you always be so stubborn?"

"Because you're treating me like a child!" I growled.

He gently lifted my chin with his finger. "Esme I am sorry that you feel that way. I would never view you as a 'child' because you are my equal. However, you must understand where I'm coming from my love. You are just too precious for me to lose. I will not have it."

I looked into his face and saw the sadness in his blue eyes. He bowed his head and rest it against my shoulder. I pulled him in tighter and played with the back of his hair.

"Fine. I won't go." I mumbled

"Really?" He asked. "Do you promise you won't go?"

I bit my bottom lip. "I promise."

He picked his head up from my shoulder and leaned closer. His lips were soft against mine as he kissed me.

He opened his eyes and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Carlisle stroked a piece of hair out of my face. "Do you feel any better?"

"Lots." I beam.

"Good." He replied.

He took my face in both of his hands and kissed me again. It's wasn't as gentle as the first kiss. It turned possessive and I felt a twinge between my legs. Carlise paused for a second and looked into my eyes. I could feel the heat of him as he began to undress me.

An hour later, I had my arms and legs wrapped around him. His hands were still exploring my exposed skin and I giggled when he started to add his tongue to the mixture.

"What are you laughing about Mrs. Cullen?" He smirked.

I snickered. "It tickles!"

"Tickles?" He furrowed his brow. "So does this tickle as well?"

He tickled my sides and I twisted in his arms. "Yes!"

"And this?" He moved his hands up.

"Carlisle!"

He laughed. "I like to see you squirm."

"Not fair!" I playfully slapped his arm.

"Misbehave again Mrs. Cullen and you won't be receiving your gift."

I tilted my head to the side. "Gift?"

He got out of bed and grabbed something off our dresser before coming back. He handed me the envelop and I ran my fingers across the seal.

"I was going to give it to you beforehand," Carlisle spoke. "But then we had our little disagreement."

"Slash lovemaking," I added.

He grinned. "That too. I think you will enjoy this one better than the last one. Open it up."

I tore into the envelope and pulled out the letter. I immediately recognize the handing writing and I felt my eyes began to swell.

**_My dearest Esme Cullen, _**

**_I am writing to you with the deepest sorrow. Unfortunately, I have been wounded on the front lines and the Air Force is going to send me back home. I am a little disappointed in myself. I had been foolish and tried to save one of my comrades. The poor fellow was bleeding from his neck and screaming for anyone to help him. I barely knew the man, but we talk once and shared a beer. Usually, I would not be placed in the middle of a battlefield, however, my plane was shot down and I somehow magically survived. I was also fortunate enough that I ran into some British soldiers who decided to take me in until one of my Air Force buddies came to retrieve me. We were walking when all of the sudden an invasion broke loose and I was forced to grab a gun and fight. Anyways, I heard the man screams from a mile away. I remember that he had mentioned his wife and children. I believed he told me that he had six girls and they were hoping that baby #7 would be a boy. How could I leave a man with six (almost seven) children on the battlefield? I tried to pick him up and carry him on my back. However, I underestimate the man's weight. He had to be 6'2 and probably 250 pounds. Too big for me to carry. Eventually, I felt a stabbing pain in my calf and realized that I had been shot. I set the man down and he was breathless. I tied a scarf around the wound on his neck (gently), but then I felt warmth down below his stomach. I lift his shirt and noticed that he had a huge hole in his stomach area and I stared at some of his organs, which look disfigured. At that moment, I knew he wasn't going to make it. _**

**_"P-Please." The man begged. "Please tell my wife and children that I loved them." _**

**_"Don't talk like that Peter!" I snarled. _**

**_Peter shooked his head. "T-Thank you." _**

**_I held the man as his eyes rolled back and then his chest stop moving. He went completely still in my arms. I laid him to rest and took the picture of his wife and kids out of his front pocket. I've kept it with me so maybe one day I can track down his wife and give her the last words of her husband. _**

**_I left Peter in the middle of the battlefield. I limp with one leg to catch up with the others, but then I felt another bullet in my shoulder. I scream out in pain and fell on top of a dead body. I laid there for a few minutes until a solider came and grab me (noticing I was still breathing and not bleeding as much). Long story short, I was taken to the Air Force hospital and although I'm going to be perfectly fine… the doctors suggested that I return home and recover before I consider going back to the military. _**

**_I should be returning home in a few short days. I estimate that I will be back before the 30th and just in time to see Bella's first violin recital. Please inform my daughter that her father is coming home to her. I can't wait to see her beautiful brown eyes and that dazzling smile. _**

**_And of course… I am so excited to see you old friend. I hope you don't mind me pestering you for a couple of days. We do need to catch up! I have so much to tell you and I'm sure vise verus. _**

**_Esme, you are a saint of some kind. Thank you for taking care of my daughter. I could never make up for everything you and Carlisle have done for me. _**

**_Please take care, my dear friend. I will be seeing you soon. _**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Charlie Swan _**

I stared at the papers in my hands before shrieking and jumping up and down. Charlie was coming home! My childhood best friend was finally returning to us! I wish he was coming home on better circumstances and I can't imagine the pain he experience watching that poor man die on the battlefield, but I'm so happy that he's safe and Bella will be relieved as well!

"I'm guessing it's good news," Carlisle said.

"Even better!" I exclaim. "Charlie coming home!"

"Really?"

I nodded my head and handed him the letters. Carlisle took a few minutes to read everything Charlie had written and then he smiled.

"It will be good to have the old chap back." He teased.

"Oh! I can't wait to tell Bella!"

"Love," Carlisle chuckled. "The children are asleep right now."

"So? Let's go wake her up!" I suggested.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" He asked.

I nodded my head. "She needs to know now! She will be so excited!"

And so… we put on our nighttime clothing and rushed out of the bedroom. We walked down the hallway towards the girl's room. Hand in hand. I felt a rush of excitement as Carlisle opened their door.

_It's really happening! _


	8. Chapter 8

"Bella?" I whispered. "Wake up sweetie."

"Mhmm." She pulled the covers over her head. "Five more minutes please."

Carlisle chuckled. "Wake up angel."

Bella's eyes pop open and she stared at us. "Is there some wrong?"

"Oh no, sweetheart," I said. "We actually have great news!"

She scooted over and I sat on the edge of the bed. Carlisle stood next to me and set his hands on my shoulders. Bella's expression changed from worry to confusion. She furrowed her brow and I could tell she was trying to resist the urge to yawn. It was close to two a.m. and I would usually never disturb the children's sleep. It was so difficult to get them to bed some nights that I never risked it. But tonight was too important and I couldn't contain my excitement anymore.

"Bella your father is returning home," I told her. "He should be back soon."

Her eyes widen. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Positive." I beam. "He sent me a later today confirming his arrival."

"Yes! Thank the heavens!" She squealed.

"Ssssh. Don't wake the others." Carlisle murmured.

Bella cried. "I'm so happy that I don't think I can sleep!"

"Then let's go to the kitchen," I suggested.

She threw back her covers and practically skip out of the bedroom. Carlisle and I followed her down to the kitchen where she sat down and clapped her hands together. I lit some candles and took the seat next to her.

"Mrs. Uley covered the windows before she left," Carlisle noted.

"Bless that woman," I said.

"Why is daddy coming home?" Bella asked.

I took a deep breath and explained to Bella that Charlie had suffered minor injuries in the war and he needed some time off to recover. I also shared some of the details from his letter and I thought it was important that Bella was aware of Charlie devasting lost. He held a dying man in his arms and watch him slowly bleed out. I'm not sure if Charlie would suffer from PTSD like Mr. Masen or have nightmares for the rest of his life. However, Bella understood the situation and she agreed that it wasn't appropriate to talk about the subject unless Charlie brought it up.

Her maturity never surprised me. Bella was a beautiful young lady and it was a shame that her mother abandon them. She acted older than what she was and she always felt the need to take care of Charlie. I worried that Bella wasn't going to live a normal life. She had no mother to teach her things like housework or daily chores. I tried to install what I could and it turns out that Bella truly had a talent for hard labor. She was a clumsy little girl, but she could actually make cabbage soup taste wonderful and she cook the best-scrambled eggs in the house. I knew Charlie was going to be so proud of Bella and she would take good care of him while he was home.

"I can't believe daddy coming home!" Bella exclaim.

I grinned. "Me neither!"

The stairs creak a little and Rosalie came down with her blankie and thumb in her mouth. Her blonde hair was in tangles and she looked slightly irritated.

"You woke me up!" She spat.

Carlisle picked her up. "I'm terribly sorry princess. Let's put you back to bed."

"I don't want to go back to bed!" Rose fussed.

I sighed. "How about a little snack then?"

"Snack?" Rosalie said. "May I have some toast?"

"Toast. Of course." Carlisle snickered.

"I love toast!" She spoke in delight.

Bella help me prepare cinnamon toast with warm milk, while Carlisle cuddled Rosalie in his lap. She was satisfied once her toast was done and all four us enjoyed our late-night snack before returning to bed. The girls begged us to let them sleep in our room and I was surprised when Carlisle agreed to it. They slept in the middle of our bed and we wrapped our arms around them. Our babies fell asleep warm in our embrace.

The next morning I help Bella prepare a small welcome banner for Charlie's arrival. Mrs. Uley was also kind enough to whip up a batch of biscuits and she help me make sure that there was plenty of food on the dinner table. We finished our daily chores by the evening and waited for Charlie in the family room. He was running late and I could tell that Bella was feeling impatient. She sat on the couch and stared out the window, tapping her fingers against the glass.

"It's five o'clock." She worried. "Daddy was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago."

I chuckled. "Bella I'm sure he's fine. The train could have been delayed, plus I can't imagine him on crutches."

She smirked. "Daddy isn't very graceful."

"He's a complete mess."

I heard a knock coming from the back door and Bella jump up from the sofa and ran into the kitchen. She opens the door and then sighed. It was just Renee.

"By the look of your face, I'm guessing I've disappointed you," Renee said.

Bella looked smudged. "I apologize Ms. Dywer. I thought you were my father."

"Father?" Renee raised her brow.

"Bella!" I called out. "Why don't you help Rosalie with the chickens dear. It will pass some time and Rose needs someone to watch her or she'll torture those poor hens."

Bella nodded her head and search for Rosalie outside. Renee moved into the living with a basket full of vegetables and sat next to me on the couch.

"Feeding the rabbits?" I teased.

Renee rolled her eyes. "I brought carrots over for the little one and some squash. I figured she could use a good meal since she looks like skin and bones."

"Trust me, Renee, Rosalie eats plenty here."

"Never said she didn't." Renee huffed.

I slightly tilted my head. "What has you in a foul mood today?"

"She always in a foul mood!" Mrs. Uley said from the kitchen.

"Esme, you should tell your maid to mind her business!" Renee hissed. "Or I'll chew the old hag out myself."

I laughed. "Renee, Mrs. Uley meant no harm in her comment. Really though. You are being quite feisty today. More than usual."

"You didn't tell me that Charlie Swan was coming home!"

"And why does that matter?"

She stared at me with open eyes like the whole world was breaking and crumbling around her. I noticed how her shoulders hunched together and the anger in her eyes showed the scared child within. I could see the pain beneath it and her soul drowning in this persona she created.

But I didn't understand why she was upset.

"Renee? Is there something bothering you?" I asked.

Renee snorted. "Me? Something wrong with me? There's everything wrong with me."

"That's not what I meant."

"Esme why must you be so nosey?" She sneered.

"Because you are my best friend," I spoke. "And you've been like a sister to me. I care about you and I want to know what's bothering you so I can fix it. Charlie has been our friend for many years. Am I missing something?"

Renee sighed. "It's nothing."

"Renee it doesn't seem like-"

"Seem like what?" She interrupted. "My life isn't like yours. I don't have a husband to love or take care of me. I only have myself and I will only ever have myself."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that," Renee said. "Love does not exist. Maybe for some people like you and Carlisle, but what you two have is rare. I've never been with a man who looks at me the way Carlisle stares at you. He absolutely adores you. Never take advantage of that Esme. Appreciate what you have and run with it."

I frowned. "But what does have to do with Charlie Swan?"

"It has everything to do with Charlie Swan!" She bellowed. "Now stop wasting my time! I have a garden to attend too."

"Renee you're the one who invited yourself over." I pointed out.

"And now I am disinviting myself!"

She stood up from the couch and I followed her out of the room. She handed the basket of vegetables to Mrs. Uley and patted Alice on the head. She was washing the tomatoes that I dug up this morning. I have a strong dislike for tomatoes and I almost didn't plant any this year. However, Alice insisted that we needed them and she also wanted to learn how to garden. It gave us something to do.

"Ms. Dywer are you coming to my birthday party this weekend?" Alice beam.

"Of course Alice. I wouldn't miss it for the world." Renee replied.

"So now you're going to be nice?"

Renee huffed. "Alice minds her business unlike you."

"Not really." Alice giggled. "Actually, I wanted to ask you whether if you enjoyed your date with Phil?"

"How did you know about that!" Renee shriek.

"A little birdy told me." Alice teased.

"Impossible!" Renee declared. "All of you are impossible! I must leave now!"

Alice and I burst into laughter as Renee stormed out of the house. We mimic her voice until Mrs. Uley fussed at us for being in her way and practically kicked us out of the kitchen. I return to the living room and pick up a book off the coffee table.

_Romeo and Juliet. _

Alice enjoyed romance novels. She fantasizes about young love and she frequently asked me questions. What's worse is that she shared some of these books with Rosalie. Rose has developed a love for _Romeo and Juliet_ and she also likes _The Great Gatsby_. I felt a little uneasy about letting Rosalie read some of these novels. They were too mature for her age and I didn't feel like giving her the birds and the bees anytime soon. However, Alice promised me that she would skip the naughty parts and only read the less rated R stuff. Typically, I monitor these sessions and every night Rosalie would either fall asleep to Edward lullaby or Alice storytelling.

I open the book and read a few chapters. Romance novels amused me. They seem silly at times and a little dramatic for my taste (although Carlisle always teased that I was a hopeless romantic). I remember the first time I tried to kiss him and he backed away. I was offended at first, but he tried to reassure me that it wasn't my fault.

"It's just…"

"Just what?" I demanded. "Carlisle Cullen if you don't want to be with me…"

"It's not that! Trust me, Esme, I want to be with you very much so." He said.

I frowned. "So what's the issue?"

"You're younger than me," Carlisle admitted.

"I'm nineteen."

"And I'm twenty-eight." He stated. "People will disagree with our decision."

"I don't care what other people think," I told him.

He sighed. "Esme you might change your mind in a few years."

"No, I won't." I took both of his hands. "Carlisle I love you and I don't care what other people think. I've never felt this way with anyone before. I don't want a younger man or someone who's the same age as me. I want you and only you. Let them judge us. They're just jealous anyway."

Carlisle faintly smiled. "You're such a hopeless romantic."

"Kiss me," I begged. "Please kiss me."

He pressed his lips against mine and I felt his body loosen as his arms touch my shoulders. It's wasn't like one of those close-mouthed kisses like you do when you're in the eighth grade and you've never been with a boy before. It was open-mouthed and almost sexual. And I loved it. Our lips fit like two puzzle pieces and he held me tighter in his arms. When we broke away after what seemed like forever he looked at me and I knew I was going to marry him. Age did not matter. I would spend a lifetime loving my Carlisle or at least as long as I could.

I thought back to what Renee had said about appreciating what was given to me and never taking Carlisle for granted. She had been a tad jealous when I got married and I think she felt slightly betrayed. Renee loved boys, but she could never find a man who loved her back. We had agreed that we would never let anyone come between us. She had my full attention for the longest time until I had meant Carlisle. It was difficult for her when I started to spend my time with someone else. Could she just be jealous again? Or did she really have something against Charlie Swan? I couldn't imagine those two being lovers since Charlie was so laid back and Renee couldn't contain her spontaneous moments. She was unpredictable and she struggled with commitment. Marriage was out of the question. Did she have a fling with Charlie Swan? Or was he one of her many lovers? I couldn't be sure…

The doorbell rang and I set the novel back on the coffee table. I was expecting that Renee would come back for seconds. Once she starts something she has to finish it.

"Renee I don't have time for your nonsense," I said while opening the door.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing that I'm not Renee," Charlie grumbled.

I paused for a second and stared at my old friend. He looks different from before and I was shocked to see him so… manly. Charlie never stood out from the crowd. He had a slight crush on me in junior high, but I could never take him seriously. He had always been stick and bones and he was bullied quite often for his appearance. However, he was a changed man now. Standing in his uniform Charlie had finally looked like a grown adult. His hair was still scruffy and I would scold him later for not shaving his beard. But I noticed that he gained some muscle in his arms and he stood a little bit taller. He seems proud of himself and I was amazed as well.

"No hugs or welcome back?" He teased.

My eyes filled with tears. "I can't believe you're here!"

Charlie chuckled. "Oh, Esme. Why do you always cry like a baby?"

I rolled my eyes and hugged him tightly. He set his crutch to the side and wrapped his arms around me. I can't even explain how good it felt to have my old friend back!

"Well, I'm glad you missed me." He commented.

"How could I not?"

Charlie beam. "I am pretty desirable to the ladies."

"Goodness! Bella!" I jumped out of his arms. "We must find her now!"

I dragged him through the house and quickly open the back door. Bella was outside with Rosalie, following her around and throwing chicken feed to the hens. Bella got after Rosalie for plucking the feathers off the hens tail. Rose pouted and stomp her little foot.

"Bella!" I called out. "Look who's here!"

Bella ignored Rosalie's tantrum and turned around to Charlie and I. Her face lit up as she dropped the chicken feed and ran towards us.

"Daddy!" Bella screamed.

She ran into Charlie's arms and I caught him as he almost fell back.

"Bella careful sweetie," I said.

"Whoa mate!" Charlie laughed. "Almost took out my shoulder there."

"Sorry, dad." Bella smiled shyly.

"It's alright chum. I'm just so relieved to see you again."

Bella help Charlie back in the house where the rest of our family joined us. Carlisle shook Charlie's hand and even patted him on the back. Rosalie wouldn't leave his crutch alone and Jasper couldn't help but ask him about his war stories. We enjoyed a nice meal together that night and Charlie was so kind enough to help us put the children to bed.

"What happen to your leg?" Rosalie wondered.

"Rose!" I shriek.

"It's fine Esme." Charlie snickered. "I almost got it blown off in the war."

Rosalie look petrified. "Blown off? That's terribly awful."

"I would suppose so." Charlie nodded. "That's why you should stay in school and educate yourself. Maybe one day you'll be able to help our country and prevent future wars."

Rosalie shrugged. "My mother was bomb in the raids. I bet her leg was blown off."

Charlie face turned to shock and he seemed a little uneasy. I patted his arm and told him to wait outside in the hallway. He slowly walked away.

"Did I say something wrong?" Rosalie asked.

"No sweetheart. Go to bed."

I kissed the top of her forehead and turned off the lights. The girls went to bed and I meant Charlie and Carlisle in the living room. Charlie sat on the couch with his head bowed down.

"Esme I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," I assured him. "Rosalie is a very blunt child. I apologize for her behavior."

He shook his head. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's not your fault Charlie. Rosie has been exposed to the real world in unimaginable ways." Carlisle spoke.

"Are you going to keep her?"

"Well…" I looked at Carlisle. "It's sort of a touchy subject right now."

"Understandable."

I grinned. "Bella is a wonderful child."

"Thank you so much for taking care of her. I need to clean the house tomorrow before I can take her home." Charlie said.

"Of course," Carlisle replied. "Jasper and I will help you."

"I don't know how I will ever repay you guys for all things you've done for me."

I patted Charlie's hand. "You don't owe us anything. It's what friends do for each other."

Charlie squeezed my hand and then we decide to get ready for bed. I threw some sheets on the couch and fetch a pillow and blanket. Charlie help Carlisle close the blackout curtains and blow out all the candles. We said good night to Charlie and retired to our bedroom. I sat down at my vanity and pulled the pins out of my hair.

"Charlie looks great," Carlisle said.

I giggled. "He's no longer the little boy who had the biggest crush on me anymore."

"Crush?" Carlisle raised his brow. "You never told me Charlie had a crush on you."

I rolled my eyes. "We were teenagers."

"Still." Carlisle wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "I can't help but be overprotective when it comes to you, my love."

"What are you going to do when Rosalie starts to date?" I smirked.

Carlisle groan. "Buy a gun."

"You don't mean that."

He thought for a second. "Do you think we'll have Rosalie for that long?"

"I hope so." I sighed.

"Me too."

He kissed the top of my head before getting into bed. I joined him minutes later and we went to sleep. But I couldn't help to think about Rosalie. I wonder what she will look like when she turns sixteen and then eighteen. Will she resemble her mother or maybe her father? I tried to imagine what her father must look like. Does he share the same blond hair and blue eyes? Did he have Rosalie temper or was he soft-hearted? I had so many different questions.

_I just wonder..._


	9. Chapter 9

The house was decorated with streamers and balloons. Screaming swarms of children ran through the home as bubbles floated in the air and discarded wrapping paper laid aimlessly on the floor. Mrs. Uley helped me bake a cake covered in thick white icing and decorated with tiny pink roses. It was a miracle that we were able to get the ingredients together. I'm not sure how Mrs. Uley did it, but I knew better than to ask. The children loomed over the table which was filled with food. They grabbed at the makeshift sandwiches (just cheese and bread) and filled their mouths with sweets.

Today was Alice's thirteen birthday.

Thirteen. It's difficult to accept that Alice was slowly becoming a young woman. I wished I could have given her a bigger party filled with presents and actual food that she liked, but Alice was content with what she had. I allowed her to invite some friends from school and of course, she had Rosalie and Jasper. Charlie brought Bella over and I was surprised when Renee showed up. She hadn't talked to me for two weeks and I knew better than to mention our conversation about Charlie. I warned Carlisle beforehand and he decided to entertain Charlie inside (away from Renee). She had been in a pleasant mood for most of the day. She made Alice a new dress and gave her some new books to read. We sat outside and watched the children play while Charlie and Carlisle talk in the dining room.

"When did you grow such a soft spot for children?" Renee wondered.

I chuckled. "Mhmm, I'm not sure."

"You didn't tell me you were trying to conceive."

"And who told you that?" I asked.

"Alice."

I sighed. "That wasn't for anyone else to know."

"I thought I was your best friend." She said. "Best friends tell each other everything."

"I'm sorry Renee. I wasn't meaning to keep secrets from you. It's just hasn't worked out in our favor." I explained to her.

Renee frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We've been trying for almost two years," I mumbled.

Her face softens. "Esme I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," I assured her. "Some things aren't meant to be."

We stop talking afterwards. The silence between us hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground. It was eerily unnatural and I noticed the awkwardness in Renee's face.

I didn't like it.

Renee broke the silence first. "You would make the perfect mother."

"Thank you, Renee." I smiled faintly.

She shook her head. "I mean it, Esme. Children love and adore you. Look at Rosalie for example."

I snickered. "Rosalie didn't always love me. She use to resist me for the longest time."

"Any child would be lucky to have you."

I frowned as I tried to process her words. _Any child would be lucky to have you. _Renee never desired to have children of her own. It wasn't anything against them. She just enjoyed being alone and doing her own thing. She frequently had flings with different men and she lived a lifestyle that wasn't meant for kids. However, it was strange that Renee was thinking so deeply about me becoming a mother. It's not something we ever discuss and she didn't care about children that much to talk about them.

I turned my head and glance at Renee. She didn't move or even acknowledge that I was staring at her. Instead, she had her eyes glued on Bella. The little girl's chestnut hair blew in the spring breeze as her youthful face turned towards the sun. Renee watched as Jasper snuck up behind Bella and pounced on her. She almost jumped out of her seat, but she took a deep breath and settle down. Bella was fine. She laughed and tackled Jasper to the ground. They rolled around in the dirt and played as kids do. And that's when I realized something… Renee's strange behavior was starting to make sense now. I don't know how I never saw it before. Bella's face. The color of her hair. Her tiny figure and the way she stood up to the boys.

_Oh my god… _

"R-Renee." I stuttered. "Are you…"

"Yes." She looked down. "I'm Bella's mother."

I gasped. How could she?

Renee's eyes filled with tears. "It's not what it looks like Esme."

"The hell it does!" I spat.

"I-I was young and not ready to be a mother yet. I was also scared and I didn't know what to do." She cried.

I growled. "So you abandon your daughter?"

"No!" Renee said. "I wanted to give her up. I can barely take care of myself let alone a child. I told Charlie my decision and he begged me not to. He offered to take Bella and promised to raise her himself. I thought it was better if Bella didn't know so she wouldn't be upset at me. I only wanted the best for her."

"You left her."

Renee groaned. "Don't remind me!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Renee has done some questionable things in the past and I haven't always agreed with her thinking. But this was insane! All these years and she never mention the fact that she had a daughter! It made me began to wonder what other things Renee failed to tell me.

"Bella can't know about this. You have to promise that you won't tell her." Renee spoke.

"She deserves to know who her mother is."

"Esme, please." She begged. "Bella has lived a great life without me. Don't ruin that for her. Charlie will make sure that she well taken care of. She doesn't need me in her life. I would mess it up anyway."

I sighed and stood up from my chair. I just couldn't deal with this anymore. It was Alice's birthday and I was supposed to sit back and enjoy it. Instead, Renee had asked me to do the impossible. She wanted me to ignore the facts and help her clean up her messes once again. However, I couldn't do it. Renee might think that Bella was better off without her, but it was unfair to keep her biological mother away from her. The fact that Charlie had agreed to this disgusted me. I don't know how I will ever forgive them.

"Kids!" I called. "It's time for cake!"

The children rushed inside and crowed around the dining room table. I lit some candles and we all sang happy birthday to Alice. Her little face blushed as she blew out the candles and everyone clap. Mrs. Uley help me serve the cake and I watched as the kids devour their slice. Rosalie especially had enjoyed her cake so much that she had it all over her face. Carlisle laughed and tried to wipe it off. Seeing them together just melted my heart. How did Renee not feel the same with Charlie and Bella? Why didn't she want to be apart of it?

Our guests began to leave around six o'clock before curfew started. Renee snuck out of the house without saying goodbye. Bella and Charlie prepared to leave after Alice's classmates said their fair wells. Alice hugged them goodbye and thank them for their presents. I followed Charlie out to their car and stood to the side as he held the door open for Bella.

He closed the car door shut. "Thank you for inviting us, Esme. We had a lovely time."

"Thank you for coming," I said.

Charlie smiled and kissed the side of my cheek.

"I know Charlie," I whispered.

He seems puzzled. "Know what?"

"About Bella," I spoke. "And… Renee."

He looked shocked and struggled with what to say next.

"You should be a shame of yourself, Charlie. But your secret is safe with me." I mumbled.

I didn't allow him to say anything else. I turned around and walked back inside the house. I didn't want to hear his excuse. Nothing was ever going to change my mind. I disagreed with his and Renee's decision, but I wasn't going to tell Bella because it wasn't my place. I just hope that maybe Renee and Charlie would come to their senses someday. Not for them. But for Bella sakes.

"The party was quite marvelous darling," Carlisle commented.

"Thank you, dear," I told him.

He grinned. "Alice looked like she had a wonderful time."

"Good."

"Honey is there something wrong?" He asked.

Tears began to build up in my eyes. "What makes you think something is wrong?"

And then the tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I felt the muscles of my chin trembling like a small child as Carlisle quickly walked over and took me in his arms. Several minutes passed before I was able to speak. I told Carlisle everything that happen with Renee and what I knew about Bella's biological mother. I shared about my feelings towards the situation and how wrong it felt, but I promised Renee and Charlie that I wouldn't tell Bella. The whole thing just made me feel awful.

"Sweetheart it's not your fault." He said.

I sobbed. "How could a mother not want her child?"

"I don't know honey." Carlisle sighed. "I wish I had a better answer."

Carlisle helped me up the stairs and into our bedroom. He went back downstairs and took care of the children. I laid in our bed and hugged his pillow to my chest. Tears still stream down my cheeks, but I was pretty cried out. Instead, I started to think about Bella and what her life would be like if she had her mother in it. She wouldn't be teased at school by her classmates for being motherless. She could live a normal life and have someone else take care of her. Charlie wouldn't be forced to do all the work by himself. He could take a break for once and maybe take the time to find a new love interest.

However, I was thinking about the impossible. It was never going to happen.

As I thought more about Bella's situation, my mind wander a little and I began to think about Rosalie. _Her father. _He was out there in the world looking for her and I was keeping him away from his daughter. I was holding Rose back from getting to meet her biological father just like Renee wasn't letting Bella know the identity of her mother. I was a monster. No better than Renee and Charlie.

_That's it. _

I got out of bed and snatched the letter off my vanity. I read over the instructions carefully before crumbling note up and tossing it in the garbage. I had to go to London and I needed to find Rosalie father. I couldn't be like Renee and keep this person away from Rose. She deserved to know her parent and I was going to go against Carlisle's wishes so Rose could be happy.

_Now I just needed to think of a plan..._


	10. Chapter 10

"Darling, are you sure this can't wait?"

"It absolutely cannot wait," I said. "I must go now."

As I lied, I handed Carlisle my pearl brooch and he help me pin it to the placket of my high necked bloused. I slid on my wedding ring and fastened my gold watch around my wrist. Afterward, I stood up from the dressing table and checked my reflection. I was a liar. A dirty little liar…

Weeks passed since Alice's birthday party and I couldn't talk myself out of going to London. I couldn't live the rest of my life without knowing who Rosalie's father was. I wasn't sure if I would return his daughter and I didn't quite have everything figured out. I was nervous. What if this is all a joke? But I couldn't rob Rosalie from something that's hers.

Carlisle frowned. "Surely they can send it. What sort of item is it?"

"The sort of item that ladies buy in person," I told him. "From the chemist's shop."

His face flushed. "Ah. Well, I suppose you can't wait then. Just be careful my love."

I dragged the brush through my curls. "Do you not trust me?"

"I trust you with all my heart. I only worry for your safety. I could come along with you."

"That won't be necessary," I assured him. "Besides, Mrs. Uley could use some help with the children today."

He nodded. "Just don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Mhmm, maybe I should donate some of this hair. I could cut half this hair off and still make a ponytail." I teased.

"Don't you dare."

I turned from the mirror and pressed my lips against his. "Love you."

It was still early when the clouds gave of their rain to the trees and grass when the road became alive with more splashes. My bicycle wheels turn over the wet track, my speed bringing the cold into my face harder than it would if I were walking. My jacket gave up on keeping my body dry a while ago and the only thing that was keeping me warm was my movement, pumping my legs against the pedals. I pressed on, thinking of the warmth at the other end. I reach the bus stop and parked my bicycle at the coffee shop, where Kate Denali worked. She always kept a good eye on my bike as long as I warned her ahead of time. She waved from the window, acknowledging that she had seen me. I waved back before stepping on the bus and finding a seat.

In my handbag, I carried the letter addressed by the mysterious person who sent it. The instructions were very clear. I had to meet the unknown friend at the cafe across from the bus stop. I wasn't able to tell Carlisle of my plans and I didn't dare broach the subject to Mrs. Uley. Every step would bring the unthinkable closer to reality.

And then here I was, pushing the unthinkable closer.

I lied to Carlisle and told him I was traveling to Cardiff for some lady things. But instead, I was going against his word and sacrificing everything I ever loved to find Rosie, father. I felt awful lying to my husband. I'm not sure how I will explain to him later that I broke my promise. It was another thing that I needed to think about later.

But not right now.

The bus came to a halt and I stepped off. I looked around before finding the cafe. I crossed the street and walked inside. It was a very casual place filled with people who were sitting with others and drinking tea. I found a table by the window and sat down as I waited for my guest to arrive.

"Mrs. Cullen?" A voice said.

I turned my head and gasped a little at the woman who stood before me. It was Angela Weber. I hadn't seen her since the day she showed up to our doorsteps with Jessica Stanley.

"M-Mrs. Weber." I stuttered.

I gazed at the old woman and noticed that she dyed her hair jet black. Her white skin had also looked too tight for her face and her eyelashes seemed false. At her age, she looks like she should have one foot in the grave. Her gait was wonky with arthritic joints and eyesight failing faster than what she could control.

My heart broke for the old woman.

"War changes a person." She said while taking a seat next to me.

I nodded my head. "It does."

"How is the girl?" She wondered.

"Rosalie?" I spoke. "She doing marvelously. Rose is a wonderful child though she is a bit mischievous at times."

Mrs. Weber chuckled. "You have your hands full."

"Nothing I can't handle."

Mrs. Weber paused and studied my face for a minute. I blushed and I turned my head away immediately. I wondered what she was thinking and why she was staring at me so… intensely. We were here for Rosalie not for me. I started to get impatient.

"You're husband doesn't know your here."

I furrowed my brow. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"What did you tell him?" She asked.

"I do beg your pardon! I didn't come here to be interrogated." I spat.

"Of course not." Mrs. Weber agreed. "You came here to learn about the girl's father."

"And what do you know?"

Mrs. Weber sighed. "After the first bomb struck and we left the refugee center, Jessica and I return to London to gather our things from the hotel. The staff had collected some things out of the rumble and we hope to find something leftover. Long story short, there was nothing of ours that was recover. We argued where to go next. I wanted to get the hell out of here, but Jessia had other ideas. She thought we should stay and see how things play out. I thought she was insane and I made plans to leave her. Unfortunately, Jessia grew sick a few days before my departure. I decided to stay and take care of her until she was better. But she passed away after three weeks."

"I am so sorry for your lost."

Mrs. Weber faintly smiled. "Thank you, dear. I was completely devasted and for some reason, I just couldn't leave London. Jessica had been my traveling partner. It wasn't the same without her. Instead, I stayed here and became a beggar on the streets. I come out every day and sit by the corner. Typically, I can make maybe a pound each day. It's not ideal but it will do for now. Thankfully, London hasn't been bombed for some time. I ran into Rosalie's father one day when I was on the streets. He asked if I knew of a little girl with blond hair and blues who was lost. He showed me a baby picture of her, but I recognize her facial structure and that adorable little nose. He offered to pay me for any information I had regarding the child."

"And what did you tell him?" I held my breath.

"I told him that she looks familiar, however, I couldn't possibly remember where I had seen her. I am an old woman after all." Mrs. Weber explained. "He was disappointed. I apologize and wished him luck on his search. He thanked me and then asked where I lived. I was honest with him that I lived on the streets. He shook his head and offered to give me a place to stay. He had been working at a small shop not too far away. I help them stock in the mornings and in return they let me stay in the extra storage closet. I've grown quite fond of her father. He is a lovely man."

I huffed. "So why did he abandon his wife and daughter?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself."

"Pardon?"

Mrs. Weber looked past me and to the front door. "He should be here any minute now."

"You nasty old woman!" I growled. "You trick me!"

I tried to stand up and leave, but Mrs. Weber put her hand over mine and stopped me. I was about to make a scene until I heard the front door open. I watched as the man searches around the room before finding our table. My stomach shift uneasily and I noticed that I was digging my nails into Mrs. Weber's skin.

"Mr. Jones!" Mrs. Weber called out. "Over here, darling!"

I couldn't speak nor swallow. Mr. Jones smiled at us and took a seat next to Mrs. Weber. I glance up to his face and saw that it match Rosalie. He was handsome. Not as handsome as my Carlisle, but he was still a good looking man. He had tousled dark brown hair, which was thick and lustrous. His eyes were a mesmerizing deep ocean blue and his face was strong and defined. He had dark eyebrows and he was built sort of large. He was a little bit taller than Carlisle and I'm sure if I stood next to him I would have looked like a small child.

_I can't do this..._

"I apologize for being late." He blushed. "I'm afraid that I got carried away at the store."

"Nonsense!" Mrs. Weber waved her hand. "You don't need to apologize for anything."

He grinned. "Thank you for being so understanding."

I realized that he wasn't English. His accent sounded American which surprised me. Rosalie was British and she shared the same manners as we do. I wonder what brought her father to England.

"Mr. Jones please meet my friend Mrs. Smith."

"Nice to meet you," I said, in the tone of a Mrs. Smith. "However, I'm afraid that I must be going. My husband is expecting to have me home soon and I can't keep him waiting."

Mrs. Weber looked disappointed. "Oh, Mrs. Smith please stay! Just for a few minutes!"

Mr. Jones snickered. "Angela don't be so pushy."

"Me? Pushy?" Mrs. Webber smirked. "I don't know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean." Mr. Jones spat. "You're rude Angela Weber."

She laughed. "Hardly. You should have meant Jessica. She was worse than me. Mrs. Smith can testify to that."

I nodded and smiled politely. "Yes, I suppose Jessica was a little overbearing. She did try to flirt with my husband."

"I'm sure any man would be lucky to have you." Mr. Jones said.

I didn't like his comment and it made me feel slightly uncomfortable. What was this man up to? What did he know? I started to get the feeling that maybe Angela Weber didn't exactly tell me everything that happen.

"Well, thank you for the invite, Mrs. Weber," I spoke. "We should do it again sometime soon."

Mrs. Weber soften. "I would like that very much, dear. Take care."

I hurried out of the cafe and stepped outside. The blasting wind whipped my eyes and made them leak. My eyes dip with tears as I walked a couple of blocks before resting my head against a brick wall. I felt myself began to tremble. Why can I not stop crying? The walls that used to hold me up and kept me strong just collapse. My whole world was crumbling around me. Perhaps these tears will help wash out the memory of the Rosalie father.

He seems like a pleasant man which made matters worse. I had wanted him to be some sort of monster or street rat. Someone unfit for a child so I could keep Rosalie and raise her myself. But Mr. Jones wasn't any of that. He was a good-hearted man who missed his daughter. I could tell by his eyes that he seem a little distraught. He looked tired. Restless. Probably too worried about his child to sleep.

He was everything that Rosalie deserved.

It didn't seem fair. He had left her so why does he get to take her back? She was mine. All mine and I wasn't willing to share. I loved her too much. More than what I thought was ever possible.

I slowly lifted my head from the brick wall and gathered myself together. It was starting to get dark outside and I needed to return home before curfew. I walked back to the bus station and waited.

"They bombed us, you know?" He said. "Pearl Harbor. The Japanese had taken us by surprise. I was afraid that they would raid the hospital after they finish destroying all the ships and aircraft. There were so many patients that I felt helpless. I knew I couldn't save them all."

I didn't say anything. The bus stopped and I stepped on. Mr. Jones followed me to my seat and sat down next to me.

He gave me a steady look. "I'm not an idiot Mrs. Smith."

"Cullen." I corrected him. "Esme Cullen."

"I'm not going to lie. I didn't expect you to come today." Mr. Jones spoke. "But I was hoping that you would. Mrs. Weber is a slightly better liar than what you are, but still not very good. I offered to pay sixty pounds for the information regarding my daughter. It took a while to get it out of her. I thought you might like to know that."

He stared at me. "I should probably introduce myself. Oscar Jones. I was a surgeon for the Navy."

I chucked a tad. "Of course you are. My husband is a surgeon."

"Does he serve in the military?" Oscar wondered.

"No, I was too selfish to let him go," I admitted.

"Understandable."

"Jones," I said to myself. "I suppose that's why we couldn't find you."

His eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean?"

I swallowed. "Rosalie's mother called herself Hale. The authorities were trying to locate Mr. Hale not Jones. We also didn't expect you to be American either."

"You've been looking for me?" His shoulders relaxed.

"Oh, yes. The police tried for several months before we never heard anything back. Why do you ask?"

"You look mortified when you saw me."

The way his lips thinned into a mischievous grin had made me think of Rosalie. I saw all of this and struggled to think.

"I would have had found her at some point. It was only a matter of time." Oscar told me. "How long must it be now?"

I frowned. "Must be what?"

"Since you found Rosalie?"

"Let me think." I paused for a second. "Hmm, I believe it's been two years and maybe two or three months."

Silence lingered between us after that. It was thick and heavy in the air like a blanket. Words left me. I stared at those bright blue eyes and felt myself burn with anger, although my heart was silent.

I stared out the window and watched the city streets stretch and leave our site. There were so many different military vehicles. They swung out onto the highway and I worried that the war was never going to end. I'm sure Oscar Jones shared the same emotions.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally broke the silence between us.

"London. If you had been stationed at Pearl Harbor, then how did you know to go to London? Halfway across the world."

Oscar cleared his throat. "Eleanor didn't like America as much and return to England. She wrote from an address that came from London. It was the beginning of the war and we had been apart for three years. She was always asking for money and I would send it to her. After a while, when I didn't hear from her, I assumed that she either figured it out or found someone else to fund her needs."

I nodded my head. "Makes sense."

"How did you end up with my daughter?"

I told him about the raid and the fleeing buses. I describe how I found Rosalie at the back of the bus and I picked her up and took her home. I thought it was important for Mr. Jones to know that Rosalie was a lovely child. I develop a strong need for her and eventually, she loved me back. It was hard the first year, but we figured it out. I also informed him what the police told us about Ms. Hale and our findings. He seems to understand.

"What was Ms. Hale like?" I asked.

Oscar bowed his head. "Eleanor was...adventurous. We meant while I was attending school. She dances before she walked. She could barely sit still which made being pregnant miserable for her. Eleanor grew terribly ill with Rosalie. She had been on bed rest for three months until the arrival of our daughter. Afterwards, Eleanor changed and she turned bitter. I think she blamed both Rosalie and me for slowing her down when she wasn't ready. But she fell in love with Rosalie from the moment she laid eyes on her."

"And what about you?"

"No." He shook his head. "She never loved me again. Rosalie was born in Cambridge and then we moved to America a month later. Eleanor never wanted to go. I forced her to come with me and at least try it. However, she hated Chicago and thought it was too busy. We parted when Rosalie was barely a year old. I came home one night and found the house empty. Not so much as a hairpin. She wanted freedom. But what freedom was worth tearing a child from her father? I've never been able to understand it."

"That's terrible," I whispered.

He lifted his head and smiled. "She might have not loved me, but she did love Rosalie. To be fair, she was a good mother."

"How do you know?" I questioned. "You weren't there."

He furrowed his brow. "Do you have children?"

"No."

"Sometimes you just know. It's an instinct."

I bit my bottom lip. "Why did you leave the military?"

"I stepped outside to help the nurses sort out the patients. We had to decide which ones we could help and then… the ones that weren't going to make it and just needed to be put to the side until they finally passed away. I was carrying a dying young man back when a Japanese plane flew over and started to shoot. I had bullets shoot through both my legs, my shoulder, and inches away from my heart. If I didn't use the young man as a shield… I wouldn't still be here today."

I leaned my head against the seat and tried to imagine the scene before me. I've been lucky that I haven't experienced such a tragedy quite yet. Of course, I saw things in the refugee camp that disturb me. But it was nothing compared to what Rosalie's father had endured.

"This is a pretty town." He commented.

"Yes, this is where we stop."

He followed me off the bus and I paused. I wasn't sure if I was ready for all of this yet.

"Mrs. Cullen-"

"Why don't you come back tomorrow?" I suggested. "Rosalie has dinner around this time and she usually worn out by the end of it. Tomorrow will be Saturday. She more rested on the weekends."

He hesitated but then nodded his head in agreement. "I will see you tomorrow then. Does four o'clock work for you?"

"Sounds perfect."

We parted ways after that and I peddle back home on my bicycle. I can't believe I just invited Oscar Jones over for dinner! Now I was going to have to admit to Carlisle what I did behind his back. And Rosalie… _Oh, I don't even know where to begin. _

As the daylight dwindled, my hair whipped back as I let my feet off the pedals. I was flying down the hill at a speed that could rival a new car. I reach the end of the hill and rounded the corner.

I was home.

I was setting the bike against the shed when Rosalie burst open the back door.

"Esme!" She cried, running towards me.

I was a little surprised when she attacked me with a hug. Her body clung to mine.

"Rose." I chuckled. "Did you miss me?"

She shook her head. "I thought you were dead!"

"What?"

"Oh thank heavens!" Mrs. Uley shrieked. "Carlisle she back!"

Carlisle appeared and he looked relieved. He walked up to me and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. His embrace was warm and his strong arms seemed very protective when wrapped around my frail body. I squeezed him back.

"I-I thought I had lost you." He stumbled.

"Lost me?" I frowned. "Why would you think that? I told you I was coming back."

He pulled away just enough to look at my face. "Esme, what are you talking about? Cardiff was just heavily bombed an hour ago!"

My brain stuttered for a moment and I paused while my thoughts tried to catch up.

_Shit..._


	11. Chapter 11

He glared at me then spat, "How could you?"

"Carlisle-"

"You lied to me!" He roared. "You lied and went behind my back!"

I wanted to cry as rage-filled my belly. "I didn't have a choice! I needed to go for Rosalie's sakes! You always treat me like some sort of fragile child! I can handle myself!"

Our voices rose above the sacred silence. Our own Pandora boxes opened, sending each word full speed ahead to shatter each other souls into a million pieces. The argument grew cold. Every word over-pronounced, slicing rather than tumbling through dry air. The love wasn't gone, but feelings were hurt. I stared at my husband and felt the walls of bitterness separate between us.

He breathed in real slow. "I thought I lost you. I almost boarded a train straight to Cardiff to go find you. I-I…"

Carlisle sighed and bowed his head. "I started to prepare myself just in case.. But I couldn't do it. I refused to do it. I don't want to live in a world where you're not in it. I rather jump off a cliff or take fifty bullets before I live one day without you here on this Earth. You are my wife. My partner and best friend. We promised each other for better, for worse, in sickness and in health. I will never stop taking care of you or making decisions on your behalf. It's what I need to do to keep you here with me."

There was something in his words that revealed the pain behind it. I watched his eyes and saw that he was waiting for me. We oddly stared at each other. Our glances battled each other until tears arose and we found ourselves crumbling. I felt an urge to comfort him, but also myself. I was still angry at him for treating me like a child, but I found myself pressing my lips against his. Carlisle's body loosens and slowly his arms touched my shoulders. We pulled apart after a few minutes and he rest his forehead against mine. Both of our eyes closed.

"Please," He whispered. "Never do that again."

I hesitantly looked up at him. "Carlisle I can't promise that I'll never do it again."

"Esme Ann-"

"You have to trust me," I replied. "Just like I trust you. I don't expect you to trust me after all of this, but please give me a chance. I'm not the young innocent nineteen-year-old that you meant several years ago. I am a woman. An educated woman. I can do this."

He stared deep into my hazel eyes. "Alright."

"I love you." I whimpered.

"I love you too."

He yanked me closer and covered my mouth with his hungry kiss. Our lips crushed together as his fingers gently ran up and down my spine. I shivered and opened my mouth with a low moan.

"Carlisle?" I groaned.

"Yes, my goddess?"

"There's something else you need to know," I said.

"And what is that?" He wondered.

I bit my bottom lip. "I invited Rosalie's father over for dinner tomorrow."

He suddenly paused. "You did what now?"

"He wants to see her," I explained. "He actually wanted to do it tonight, but I didn't think that was the best idea. He hasn't seen the girl since she was one and I think he wants to at least meet her."

"Do you think that's in Rosalie's best interest?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. But who are we to robbed a father from seeing his daughter? He never mention whether if he was going to take Rose back or not."

Carlisle looked lost and confused as he struggled to think. Welcoming Oscar Jones into our home was like welcoming the unknown. We couldn't be sure what would come next.

"I trust you." He said after a few minutes.

I nodded my head. "Thank you."

_Marriage._ No one said it was going to be easy and they were right. But through sicknesses and tragedy's, we supported each other and loved one another. This man was my husband. Falling in love with him was like entering a house and finally realizing that I'm home. Every time he held my face between his and kissed me, I felt him untying all of my knots. Having him in my life made me feel like everything's possible like I can conquer anything in the world. He's my stable force. I loved him so much for that.

"I suppose I have something to confess as well," Carlisle spoke.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I bought Rosalie a pet rabbit." He admitted.

"How?" I laughed out loud.

Carlisle chuckled. "She is a pretty convincing child."

"That she is."

He took my hand and walked me down the stairs. We watched Rosalie from the kitchen window. She played with Jasper and Alice. Forcing them to dress up and have tea with her. Alice was delighted, but poor Jasper looks miserable. He sat in his seat with a big hat and a dress over his normal clothing. Jasper was such a sweet boy for going along with Rosalie shenanigans.

"I will never grow tired of this," I whispered to Carlisle.

"Me either."

It was cloudy the next day. The sky was filled with various shades of grey and it was almost as dark as pre-dawn. The air was somewhat humid and smelt of storms. The gloom of the weather reflected on my emotions. I wanted it to rain so maybe that would delay Rosalie's father from coming. However, Mother Nature was not on my side today. It never rain. Not even a sprinkle.

Some might be scared of clowns or heights or maybe even falling. I am not scared of any of those things- not snakes or the dark. What scares me is the unknown and the black hole in my head that's slowly swallowing all my hopes and dreams. It made me question my decisions.

What if Rosalie's father wanted her back?

She was never mine, to begin with. I never carried her in my womb or felt the physical pain of birthing her into this world. But I had this indescribable attachment to her. It was the sort of feeling that I couldn't shake off. If Oscar Jones took Rosalie back, then I think I would crumble. Rosalie was the closest thing I had to a daughter (besides Alice). I've watched her grow and shape into this beautiful young lady. What would I do if he took my girl away from me? How could I live?

"Esme?" Carlisle's voice brought me back to reality. "Are you okay sweetheart?"

My heart twisted and sunk with nerves as I washed the same dish repeatedly. I tried to gain control over my breathing, but it came out in sharp pants that couldn't be stopped.

"I-I don't know if I can do this." I stuttered.

Carlisle rubbed my back. "Sssh, my love. Just focus on your thoughts. It's going to be alright."

I started to calm down. I had to do this for Rosalie.

"Esme?" She called out.

"In the kitchen, dear!" I said.

Rose skipped into the kitchen. "There you are! You were hiding from me!"

I rolled my eyes. "Why on Earth would I be hiding from you?"

Carlisle picked her up and kissed the side of her cheek. "It's because you stink."

"I do not!" Rose protested. "How rude!"

He snickered. "If you say so."

Rosalie frowned. "Alice bathed me today! With bubbles!"

"Darling, if you don't relax the tension in your face then you're going to have wrinkles forever." I teased.

"Just like you." She smirked.

Carlisle tried to hide his laughter.

"Not funny," I told him.

"Esme," Rosalie spoke. "Why are we getting dressed up tonight?"

"Who said we were getting dressed up?"

Rosalie sighed dramatically. "You know what I'm talking about!"

"I do not."

"Rosie, did you feed your rabbit today?" Carlisle changed the subject. "You don't want to starve Buttercup."

"Buttercup!" She exclaims. "I almost forgot!"

She wiggled out of Carlisle's arms and ran outside.

"That girl is a mess," Carlisle said.

"The biggest of them all."

Around four o'clock, I stood at the bus station and waited for Rosalie's father. The damn bus was on time today. He got off and greeted me. I drove us back to the house with what little gas we had left.

"She won't know me." He said suddenly. "I'm worried that I'll frighten her."

I snorted. "You can't possibly frighten Rose. She has no sense of stranger danger."

"She gets that from her mother." Oscar sighed. "She hasn't left my mind since I arrived back in London to find her."

We reached the house and he stumbled out of the car. I showed him to the gardens where Rosalie played with Alice. Oscar tried to match his steps with mine, but he was eager and could barely contain his excitement.

"Buttercup! Oh please eat your grass!" Rose cried.

Alice giggled. "Rosie you're overfeeding him."

Oscar stopped by my side. "Oh my god…"

Rosalie came running towards me. "Esme Buttercup won't eat his treat! He's being stubborn!"

Rosalie's eyes flicked up to Oscar and he tried to wave at her. She grabbed my pant leg and hid behind me.

I tried to move her forwards. "Rosalie don't be shy. This is my friend Oscar Jones."

"Hello, Rosalie." He smiled. "It's nice to meet you. Is this Buttercup?"

Rosalie stood, doubtful. "Who are you?"

"Oscar Jones, just like Esme said."

"Yes, but why are you here?" Rosalie wondered.

Oscar chuckled. "I'm someone who interests in bunnies. Leave the grass in front of him and maybe he'll eat it."

"Daddy bought him from a friend down the street! He gave Mr. Denali two pounds for Buttercup!" She exclaims.

I held my breath and closed my eyes. _Daddy. _Her comment was so out of character. She never referred to Carlisle as daddy until now. I open my eyes and found Oscar Jones completely dumbfounded. He just stared at her with an open mouth. His brain formulated no thoughts other than to register that he was shocked. Eventually, he closed his mouth and glance at his toes before looking back up to catch Rosalie's eye.

"That's lovely, dear." He struggled with his tone.

"How about we eat?" Alice suggested.

"Sounds like a great idea." I agreed.

Alice and Rosalie took pleasure in showing our guest to the dining room. I felt slightly embarrassed to have dinner there. The dining room was a grand space, to say the least. But years of neglect had taken its toll. The huge mahogany table took up most of the room. It bared no table cloth because we needed an extra sheet to cover the windows at night. The once crisp golden wallpaper was slowly pealing and the gilded mirrors were dusty. The floor at first glanced appeared to be dirty, however, it was made of large terracotta flagstone that was now covered in years of grime. Above the table, hung an old wrought chandelier with several white candles that were burnt to its stumps.

It was...rusty.

Carlisle promised me that after the war he would pay to have it clean up. I could have done it myself, but I just haven't had the time. The children kept me pretty occupied during the day and we had bigger things to deal with than the dining room. I just hope that it doesn't scare Rosalie's father.

"Wow." He whistled. "This place is grand."

I sighed in relief and return to the kitchen.

"Don't wait up for us," I told Mrs. Uley. "Alice and I will clean the plates and pans afterward."

She looked at me with disapproval eyes, but nodded her head and help me set the table. We ate a chicken that we killed and the last of our cabbage. Carlisle shared some old whiskey with Oscar while they talked and shared stories. He listened to Oscar's account and forgave me for not telling him about Mrs. Weber. He seemed more curious now than upset.

"Well, Mr. Jones," Carlisle said.

"Please, call me Oscar." He insisted.

"Oscar. It's simply that- well… it just seems absurd to assume you are the child father without evidence."

Oscar grinned. "I understand. I don't even have her birth certificate. But I do assure you Carlisle that I have friends and family who'd swear in court that I am Oscar Jones. Navy surgeon who was married to Eleanor Hale and we had a child that we named Rosalie Lillian Hale Jones."

"I'm sorry to offend you," Carlisle replied.

"No offense taken." Oscar reaches into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "There's my face, of course. Rosalie definitely shares the same facial features and eye color. I've some photographs to prove it."

I put my hand over Carlisle's and felt him clench his napkin. Oscar handed us the envelope and I pulled out the photographs. The first picture was a little baby wrapped in a cloth. Tiny toes peek from the blanket and her head was full with a mass of curly blond hair. The newborn smile was sweet as cake and filled me with a burst of sunshine that I never knew existed.

"She beautiful." I gasped.

Oscar beam. "She had been dreadful for the first few months. She wouldn't feed. That's why she was so small."

"That's changed," Carlisle grumbled.

I pulled more images out of the envelope. Rosalie was a little bit older in these memories. She had been crawling and then she was standing. Another one appeared with Oscar carrying the toddler and holding the hand of a woman who stood next to him.

"That's Eleanor."

She was the most astonishing girl I've ever seen. Eleanor had a tall frame and she was very slender. Her curly blond hair fell in soft layers around her bare shoulders and her skin was completely flawless. I doubt she ever used makeup or expensive products. She was the kind of woman that others loved to hate.

"I'm a widow." Oscar went on. "And I still have some business to take care of in America. Pearl Harbor was only the beginning. I won't have the time to look after Rosalie. She will have to go to my sister's house in New York, at least until the war's over with. Gloria has five children of her own. She was devasted when Eleanor left me and took Rosalie with her. Gloria loves Rose."

My heart sunk.

"I'm going to go make some more tea." I pushed my plate away. "Mrs. Uley has left the house for the night."

I stood up from my seat and hurried into the kitchen. I watch the kettle boil while eavesdropping on Oscar and Carlisle's conversation.

"This will be very difficult for my wife," Carlisle explained. "I blame myself, as much as anyone."

"Ridiculous," Oscar stated. "You were only trying to help."

I could hear Carlisle sigh. "Yes, well, Rosalie is a pleasant child. We've grown quite fond of her."

"She does consider you like family." I heard the bitterness in Oscar's voice.

I returned to the dining room and left the men with their tea. I didn't want to be apart of the conversation anymore. Instead, I climbed up the stairs and went into the room where Rosalie was sleeping. Alice was kind enough to help with Rosalie and Jasper tonight. They ate dinner in the gardens and then Alice put the two kids to bed. I made a mental note in my head to thank her later.

Rosalie carefully rolled onto her side and turned towards me. Her features were so much softer in her sleep. She looked peaceful as I pulled the blanket over her shoulders. She had her arms wrap around the doll Carlisle had given her. I pulled it gently away just in case she laid on it in the middle night and woke up. She stirred, but her arms relaxed and she let go. I kneeled down and rested my hands on my chin, watching her.

At some point, I heard the men on the landing and Carlisle showed Oscar to his room. I undressed and laid down beside Rosalie. Carlisle slowly creek the door open and stood in the doorway.

"He's her father and he has a right to take his daughter. We always knew that this day might come."

"She called you daddy," I whisper.

Carlisle stood in silence. I didn't have to look at his face to know that he was shocked. Rosalie calling him daddy had meant the entire world to him. He absolutely adored her.

"It doesn't matter." He choked. "We don't have a choice."

I didn't respond. I pulled the strands of hair from Rosalie's damp cheek. Her mouth was pushed out in the usual "O" and she looked like an angel. I rested my face against her hair and fell asleep.

I tossed and turned all night before getting up at five-thirty. I walked back to my room and quietly open the door. Carlisle was fast asleep in our bed. He didn't even flinch when I crossed the room and sat down at my vanity. I pulled a sheet of paper out and began to write. I thought I would write Rosalie a letter and slip it in her suitcase for later.

_My dearest Rosie, _

_It's with the deepest sorrow that we must depart. You're father will be taking you to America so you can finally live a life that you didn't have before. I hope New York brings you many adventures and that you continue your education. Carlisle and I will take care of Buttercup while you're gone. I'm not sure how he'll survive without your constant treats and extra pets. He is one spoiled little rabbit… _

_Sweetheart, there's something that I want you to know. I never wanted to have a child before I meant you. Unfortunately, there are some things about me that I'll never get to share with you, but I promise one day (when you're older) I will finally tell my story. I was older than you when I became pregnant and lost my baby a few months later. It was probably for the best. I was too young to be a mother and the baby father was….well let's just say he wasn't a good man and I was going to be alone. But that experience changed my entire world. I viewed love differently and I lost my passion. Thankfully, I meant Carlisle and he glued all the broken pieces back together. He gave me my faith back and I learned that true love does exist. All those romance novels you and Alice read are real… if you find the right person. I hope that's something you'll never have to learn the hard way. _

_But anyways…_

_I found you at the back of the bus and it was like God sending me an angel. He knew I needed you at some point in my life. You taught me patience… lots of patience. And more importantly, you taught me that I could become a mother. You aren't my daughter by birth, but that doesn't mean you aren't my daughter by love. You have given Carlisle and I memories that will last for a lifetime. Thank you for coming into our lives and making us so happy! We love you more than what words can ever express. _

_If it was up to me… I would keep you here and never let you leave. But I know that's unfair. You're father been waiting for a very long time to have you back in his arms. Please treat him with kindness and give him a chance. He's just doing what's best for you. However, if you ever need your 'daddy', don't hesitate to write. He would really like that. _

_Take care, my sweet girl. Until we meet again. And remember… I've loved you at your worse and cherish you at your best. There will never be a day where the thought of you doesn't cross my mind. You have a forever place in my heart. _

_Be brave my dear. _

_And thank you for making me a mother. _

_Sincerely, _

_Esme Cullen _

Carlisle stirred and muttered. "Esme? It's six o'clock."

"Mhmm?" I kept myself from crying.

"What are you doing?"

I swallowed. "I've been writing a letter."

I heard him sigh. "I'll be back before breakfast."


	12. Chapter 12

Upon waking, Rosalie burrowed herself into the warm, soft sheets. She rubbed the remainders of sleep from her eyes and gazed out at the horizon. She blink, closed her eyes, and then blink again.

"Goodness, Esme!" She exclaims. "You frighten me."

I forced myself to smile. "It's seven o'clock and a lovely day already. I thought we'd wear our matching dresses. The ones that we sewed last spring?"

I was already dressed in mine. It was a faded blue button-down dress with a short collar and some pockets. It was probably one of the most comfortable dresses I owned.

"Look," I said, holding out her dress. "I think it might fit this year!"

She pushed herself upright in the bed. "I don't like that one."

"It's very cozy."

Rosalie tilts her head. "Why does that man want to be my daddy?"

"He's always been your father." I sighed.

"No, he hasn't!" She raised her voice. "How can he be a daddy when I've never meant him!"

I sat down on the edge of the bed and stroke her cheek. "You saw him when you were a baby. You just don't remember because it was a long time ago."

"Mummy said he didn't want to be my daddy."

"I think he did. He just didn't get the chance too."

I should have known that she overheard our conversation from last night. Rosalie was a mischievous child and she was also known for sneaking out of bed. I've caught her many times hiding underneath the staircase. I never had to explain anything to her. She already knew.

"Anyways." I continued. "He's back and he'll be expecting to see you for breakfast. Having a father is a good thing, Rosalie."

She stood up and began to get ready, pulling her nightgown over her head.

"I suppose he can be the daddy," Rosalie said. "And you can be mummy. We can live here with Mrs. Uley and the hens and Buttercup!"

I started to run a brush through her hair. "Oh, Rose. What about Carlisle? You forgot about him."

"He can be the grandpa." She stated.

I tried to muffle my laughter. "I'm not sure about that."

Mrs. Uley had the breakfast table already set up in the dining room. I quietly told her thank you and sat across from Oscar. Rosalie checked on Buttercup before joining us.

"Did you feed him?" I asked.

She nodded her head. "Yup! He ate all of his grass!"

"Good," I told her. "Now please be a dear and crack daddy's egg for him."

Rosalie did as she was told and tap the teaspoon on the top of Oscar egg. She giggled as steam rose from the egg and the teapot.

"Remember to scrape it out carefully, in big pieces," I instructed. "That way daddy can eat it with his fork."

Oscar was delighted. "Wonderful, darling. May I say that you two look lovely as ever today."

Rosalie emptied the egg and put the shell on her plate. "My hair is prettier because it's yellow unlike Esme's. Her hair looks like chocolate milk with caramel sauce in it."

I rolled my eyes. "I love how humble you are Rosalie."

Rosalie raised her hand towards Oscar's cheek. "Did you get your cut in the war?

"No, the bathroom." He chuckled. "I had a bit of an accident while shaving this morning."

"But you are still in the war, aren't you?"

Oscar nodded his head. "I am."

"Daddy is a surgeon too. But he's not in the war."

"Carlisle." I corrected her.

Rosalie slipped off her chair and climbed into my lap.

"Why does he walk funny?" She whispered into my ear.

I whispered back. "He was hurt in the war."

"Do you think his shoulder will always have a hunch?"

"I can hear you, Rose," Oscar said, smiling. "My injuries will heal with time."

"In the meantime," I spoke. "Pop the rest of your toast in your mouth and go into the kitchen and wash your hands and face."

She groaned and moved off my lap. She dragged herself into the kitchen as I poured Oscar his second cup of tea.

"You've very good with her." He commented.

My shoulders shrug. "She has been with us for almost three years. It was difficult in the beginning, but eventually, we figured it out."

"I can understand that."

I filled my own cup with more tea. "Oscar, there's something you must explain to Gloria. Rosalie still struggles from time to time. It's important that when she has these moments that she left alone. There's no talking to her during this time. Gloria is welcome to offer some tea and toast. She might refuse at first, but it does cheer her up."

"I'll tell her." He said.

I looked past him and out the window. "When are you planning to take her?"

"The day after tomorrow."

I nodded. "That would give you some time to tell her. I assume that you are going to tell her, right?"

He frowned. "Mrs. Cullen, please don't quiz me like this. I need help. I've never been a father before."

I stared at him until Rosalie came back, clean, and climbed onto my lap. She suck on her thumb, something she hasn't done in a while. I smoothed her skirt and tried to keep my voice calm.

"There's not a great deal to do, here in Shanklin," I explained. "Carlisle only came here for work."

"She'll enjoy New York then," Oscar said.

"Why is Gloria in New York?"

"She enlisted as a military nurse. She meant her husband in Chicago and shortly afterwards… well, she had her firstborn son Jacob and she was forced to leave the military." He told me.

I'm not sure why I was asking so many questions. It only brought me more pain as I tried to picture what Gloria and her husband look like. I even imagine their children and the house they might have in New York. All of it was just so painful.

I heard the kitchen back door creaked open and Mrs. Uley's voice say, "There's an egg for you, Dr. Cullen."

"Thank you," Carlisle replied.

"Darling, in the dining room," I called out.

Carlisle came in and wished everyone good morning. He took a seat next to me and kissed my cheek. Rosalie wrapped her arms around his neck and demanded a kiss for herself. He chuckled and kissed her as well.

"I'm not sure if the egg is still hot enough." Mrs. Uley placed his tea down.

Carlisle shook his head. "I'm sure it'll be perfect."

He glanced at Rosalie and then at me. "Why sweetheart your hair looks beautiful letdown today. In general, both of you look so sweet in your matching dresses. What a pair of beauties."

"That's what I said." Oscar smiled.

I looked away. "Rosalie, will you please go upstairs?"

To my surprise, she did exactly what she was told. I didn't even hear the stairs creak moments later. That's how she gave herself away. She would come back and accidentally step on the wrong spot. But I heard her door closed this time. She didn't want to hear our conversation.

"When are we going to tell her?" I asked.

Oscar stiffened. "I'm not sure."

"Perhaps you should introduce the idea into a conversation," Carlisle suggested. "Be gentle though so you don't scare her."

"She'll be upset either way," I stated, dryly. "It'll be confusing at first and now she going to New York-"

"London." He interrupted. "Actually, I need to stop in London first before we depart for America. We'll leave tomorrow."

I furrowed my brow. "You said she'd go the day after tomorrow."

"I've changed my mind."

His eyes narrowed, rigid, cold, and hard. His customary warmth was gone faster than summer rain on the tarmac. It was pointless to try and reach to him now, my words would bounce off as good as hard rain. He viewed me as the enemy.

"Look, Mrs. Cullen," Oscar said. "I have to be honest. I won't be going to New York anytime soon. Before long, none of us are going to be able to travel once the invasion begins. I need to leave England sooner rather than later. I'm going to hire a nanny with the proper registrations and she will take Rosalie to America."

"You're not even taking her yourself?"

He frowned. "I need to get back to Pearl. I don't have the time. America is preparing for the war ahead."

We stared at each other. I felt like anger rise in me. Carlisle enclosed his hand around mine. I looked away from Oscar and down at Carlisle's hand. My eyes were glassy with tears but I wouldn't let myself crumble.

"Esme!" Rosalie yelled from the upstairs. "I can't find my doll! She was in my bed and now she gone!"

Oscar grumbled and got up from the table. "I'll go and see if I can help her. It's a start at least."

Carlisle and I remained at the breakfast table. He tried to think of things we could take Rosalie before she left. He suggested that we go to church and then let Renee say her goodbyes. I haven't talked to Renee since Alice's birthday party, but I knew she would be disappointed if she didn't get to see Rose one last time. He also mention the beach.

"The children would like the beach." He spoke unsteadily.

I squeezed his hand and his fingers tightened on mine. "Don't you agree?"

"We won't have time," I whispered.

The tears already raining down my face. Carlisle sighed and kissed the top of my head.

An hour later and I watched Rosalie twirl in her church dress. I let her put on one of my fascinators and she was delighted by the feather.

"Did daddy tell you about New York?" I asked.

Rosalie hummed. "Mhmm."

"He did or he didn't?"

"He did."

She brushed past me and skipped down the stairs. Carlisle carried her to the car where she refused to sit next to Oscar. I allowed her to sit on my lap and we left Oscar in the back seat with Alice and Jasper. Rosalie held Carlisle's hand the entire trip and hummed her own melody.

I spotted Renee first. She was standing underneath the tree by the church. She looked slightly miserable but pleased to see me. She had a beautiful dark red beret slanting over her forehead. The color suited her well.

"Why haven't you worn that more often?" I said to her. "It's very pretty."

"You've been crying." She commented.

I sighed. "Yes, thank you for pointing that out. Rosalie leaving tomorrow."

Renee gasped. "Oh Esme, I'm so sorry."

I shook my head and she followed us into the old church. It was tiny with stained glass windows and wooden pews. We had to wait in line as everyone slowly gathered and tried to find their seats. Rosalie grasped my hand and stuck her tongue at Alice, who was complaining that she walked too slow.

"Girls." I lowered my voice. "Not in church."

"Could we sit with the Swans?" Alice begged.

"Alice hush," I spoke.

"Please! And Renee can come too!" Rosalie pleaded.

I sighed. "Jasper please go tell Dr. Cullen that we're sitting with friends."

Jasper nodded and turned back to find Carlisle. The girls followed me to where Charlie sat with Bella and Renee. I was a little surprised to see Renee and Charlie sitting together. _Was I missing something? _Alice took a seat next to Bella and I sat down by Renee. Charlie tipped his hat in my direction and I returned a smile.

"Esme!" Rosalie whined. "Please let me sit on your lap!"

"Now you're just being a brat." I spat. "Rose sit in your seat like a big girl and hush. We're in church."

The service began and we rose from our seat. I bowed my head in prayer and started to think about Rosalie. _She was leaving me. _What was I supposed to do when she left? How was I going to be able to cope? I would walk throughout the house and be reminded of her presence. Her bedroom. The walls that she colored on. My bed and the place where we snuggled. She was all over the place. How would I forget? Maybe I needed to change some things in the house. Make it different somehow.

We left church an hour later and made our way to Renee's house. She had asked me before church ended if I wanted to come over and I agreed. I watched Rosalie bend over the rabbit pen, for the last time, and tried to feed all the bunnies. I felt a pain in my throat.

"Renee our rabbits never got to play together!" Rosalie spoke.

Renee chuckled. "That's okay. Mr. Carrots isn't always nice to the other rabbits."

We sat on the patio as the children play and feed the animals. Jasper was pushing Alice on the swing set, while Bella talks to both of them. Rosalie soon joined the older kids and begged them to play with her.

"When did you and-"

"After Alice's birthday," Renee said. "I thought about what you said and you were right. It wasn't fair to Bella."

"So?"

Renee grinned. "I talk to Charlie and he agreed. We told Bella that night. She was confused at first and it took a while before she forgave me. But now...we're like best friends. She comes over every day just to talk and bake cookies. She helps me feed the animals and wash the dishes. Charlie and I've slowly started to make up for lost time. I'm not sure if it's going to go anywhere, but we're trying for Bella sakes."

"That's wonderful Renee," I told her.

"And it's all because of you. Thank you, Esme."

I smiled. "Renee?"

"Yes?" She said.

"I love you."

Renee smiled yet gave her head a slight shake. "Oh, Esme. Why are you so emotional? But I guess I love you for it anyway."

We giggled and hugged. Renee is my best friend. I felt thankful for the wonderful times we have shared- our moments of laughter and sharing were both igniting and amusing. To me, life is not dull with Renee around. She drove me absolutely crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Behave yourself, Miss. Hale." Renee said to Rosalie. "Don't get yourself into too much trouble now."

Rosalie smirked. "But don't be too good, right?"

"Right." Renee agreed.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't teach her any more bad things."

"Bloody hell!" Rosalie teased.

She held Alice's hand as they skipped home. I walk slowly behind them and started to think about the time I had with Rosalie. I was the one who found her on the bus and I'd been the one who'd told her that her mother was dead. I held her while she cried at night and I chased after her when she ran from me. I saved her from being crushed by Mr. Denali tractor and she hugged me each time a pregnancy came back negative. I'm not sure what Oscar has told her, but I wasn't going to let her be taken off guard. It was my job to tell her the truth.

"Alice run ahead," I called out. "Rose come with me."

Alice ran the rest of the way home which wasn't far. Just another block down the road. Rosalie stayed back and I took her hand as we slowed down our pace.

"Rosalie, tomorrow you're going to go away to your family in New York," I explained.

She didn't turn her head. "I know."

"Daddy going to hire a nanny to take care of you and you will have to behave yourself on the boat. She going to take you to Aunt Gloria's house." I added.

Rose jumped over some rocks. "Can I take my dollies?"

"Please, do."

"Esme don't forget your coat. It might be chilly on the boat. And we can't go back if you forget it like you did when we went to the movies." Rosalie nagged.

I suddenly felt the urge to cry. "Rosalie, I'm not coming with you. I'm staying here and you're going on the boat with a nanny. Your aunt will take you once you arrive in America."

But she let go of my hand and started to run towards the house. She jumped on Jasper back and he twirled her around. I watch them both laugh before entering the house. I walked inside and started to get Rosalie things ready for her trip. Mrs. Uley came in to help me and held the small waistcoat I made for Rose.

"I don't know if he'll want this." Mrs. Uley refused to say his name.

I took the waistcoat in my hands. "I'll ask him. It's a bit worn down."

Mrs. Uley sighed. "She'll never get a new thing until she's eighteen and gets a gown for dances. I grew up with five older sisters and all I got was hand me downs. Now… Oh, Esme. I'm so sorry, dear. I shouldn't be discussing such matters right now."

I wiped away my tears. "It's fine."

There wasn't much to pack. I fetched some of her dresses, stockings, underwear, and a pair of shoes. I packed some of her dollies in a bag and even gave her my old tea set. I wouldn't be needing it and I remember the first time Rosalie forced me and Carlisle to have tea with her. She put cotton balls in my cup and made them look like sugar cubes.

Oscar leaned against the doorway. "Thank you for keeping her in clothes over the years."

"I was given coupons." I shrugged.

"I'm sorry about all of this."

"Why?" I sighed. "There's no reason to be sorry. None of this is your fault."

He was silent for a moment. I slipped some letters I written to Rosalie underneath her dresses along with a few pounds. I wanted to make sure that Rosalie was well taken care of. Both physically and financially.

"Thank you for the suitcase," Oscar commented.

I felt irritated. "You don't have to continually apologize. It's just an old raggedy suitcase that we haven't used in ages. You needed a suitcase so I'll give you one. There was no one to look after your daughter, so I did it. Sometimes you just have to do what's needed."

He didn't say anything after that. I turned away from him and began to pack some of her nightgowns. I didn't want anything more from Oscar Jones than his daughter. An apology didn't fix anything. He was taking away the one thing that I've grown to love more than anything else. He was the monster behind the scenes, not me. I would always hate him for that.

"She thinks I'm coming too, Oscar," I spoke quietly. "We have to tell her."

Oscar nodded. "And we will."

I heard her feet on the stairs and then she appeared in the doorway.

"Guess what, we're going to the beach!" Rosalie sang.

I raised a brow. "I thought I told Carlisle that we didn't have time."

"And he said silly nonsense! There's always time!"

I sighed. "Try on this waist coast and make sure it still fits."

She came over to me and picked up the waistcoat. She began to struggle into it until I pulled the hem away from her shoulders.

"Rosalie," I said. "It doesn't fit. Take it off and sit on the bed with me."

She scrambled onto the bed. "It fits! It's just a little snug!"

"Rosalie I'm not coming to America with you," I explained. "Are you listening? I'm staying here with Carlisle and you're going with daddy."

Rosalie kicked her feet on the edge of the bed. "I wonder if Buttercup will get cold during the winter. Can we make him a waistcoat?"

"Rosalie, darling, I need you to pay attention. I'm not coming-"

"I suppose that's not necessary. Carlisle will take good care of him and wrap him in blankets if he gets chilly."

Oscar tried to get up, but I stopped him.

"You can help," I growled.

Oscar struggled with his words. "R-Rose, Esme staying here and I'm going to take you to London where we'll meet a-"

"Stop talking!" Rosalie shouted. "You horrible man! Stop it!"

"Rosalie Lillian Hale Jone." Oscar scolded her.

Rose scrambled off the bed. "I am going to the beach with daddy! Well, Carlisle. And you can go wherever you want. I don't care! Go to London or New York or Africa or Spain and see if I jolly well care!"

She stormed out of the room and stomp down the stairs. I put the waistcoat in her suitcase and zipped it up. I doubt that it would last her long, but I decided not to fight with Rosalie anymore. If she wanted her old waistcoat, then I would give it to her. Oscar sat down on the bed with his shoulders slumped.

"Oh dear.." He mumbled.

I stood up. "I'll go see where she is and try to talk to her."

"Esme…" He said.

But I already left the room. I had nothing else to say to him. He started this mess and he couldn't even fix it. What type of man was he?

_A useless one… _I thought.


	13. Chapter 13

The cool water lap at my feet, fizzing and bubbling like brine. Waves ahead roar and roll down, crashing onto the shore with a soft hiss; peeling away at the sand beneath my feet. Even though the sun is beaming in my eyes, I couldn't help but smile as I watch Carlisle build a sandcastle with Rosalie. The corners of the castle crumbled as if it were a raisin cake and Rosalie shriek.

"Our castle!" She cried.

Carlisle laughed. "I told you not to build it so close to the water. The sand here is too squishy."

"Know it all!" Rose huffed.

"I am a doctor." He teased.

Alice and Jasper chased each other in the waters. Jasper grabbed Alice's waist and she squealed as he turned her around. I began to notice a connection between those two that seems stronger than brother and sister. The way Jasper looked at Alice somedays was quite adorable. He was very protective over her and even in their game of fun..he followed Alice to the deepest parts of the water and made sure she could hold herself up.

Seeing them together made me think of Edward and Emmett. I haven't received a letter from their mother in a while. The last time Elizabeth wrote to me she mention that the boys struggled at first. Emmett rebelled her against the moment he return home and Edward shut himself away and they couldn't get him out of his room. A few weeks later, things settled down and she was able to get the boys to behave. The neighbor next door started to give Edward piano lessons and Emmett found interest in some girl. Mr. Masen return to his profession and he was managing well. It seemed like they were a happy family again. But I still missed those two boys terribly…

_I can't imagine what it'll be like when Rosie leaves… _

"Esme!" Rosalie shouted. "Esme, come here!"

"You didn't say please."

"Please!" She begged.

I stood up from my beach towel and walked over to her and Carlisle. She pulled me down so I could sit next to her and she told Carlisle to go away.

Carlisle chuckled. "That's a little rude."

"I want some time alone with Esme." She spoke. '

"I understand." He replied.

"But you have to give me a kiss first!"

Carlisle leaned down and kissed her forehead before joining Alice and Jasper in the water. Rosalie climbed into my lap and we watched them play.

"I know you don't want to go to America," I told her.

She glanced up at me. "Do you? It's not like either of you care the tiniest bit about me."

I sighed. "Rose-"

"I hate you!" She spat. "I want you to know that I hate you for making me go!"

"And I deserve that. I hate myself for making you go too."

When she opened her mouth to speak the words came out fitfully, the sounds half-swallowed by sobbing noises. To her dismay, Rosalie was crying almost too much to be coherent, causing me to feel like a bad parent. All Rosalie ever needed was to know that I loved her no matter what she chose to do with her life. Wherever she went or what choices she made, she needed to be loved and now she felt betrayed. I was giving her up so easily. I barely even fought Oscar and that's all she saw… that I didn't do anything to fix the situation. I gave up before I tried and she going to remember that for the rest of her life.

_Who on Earth let me try to be a mother?"_

The guilt was like gasoline in my stomach and it burned my insides slowly as the toxicity left nothing but a shell, an outline of a person. The guilt didn't sit on my chest but inside my brain. I couldn't undo what Oscar had done. Only in my silent prayers could I speak my heart to God and beg for some type of miracle. But I knew the miracle would never come. I could feel daggers aiming at me within. The guilt would always eat and pester me for the rest of my life. I will always feel the burning in my mind and throat as remorse hit me like a sledgehammer. If Rosalie only could understand how much I truly loved her. I would never be able to walk away and forget the type of impact she left on my life. I hope that maybe someday when she has grown up… she'll forgive me after she sees what type of life her father is going to provide to her. One with happiness and care. Maybe a life I would never be able to give to her.

_Let's hope…_

"Will you come to New York?" Rosalie croaked.

"Daddy and I already told you that I can't-"

"In the future?" She asked. "Not tomorrow. But in the future?"

I bit my bottom lip. "We'll see."

She was silent for a few minutes as she consider my words and weighed them for the truth or more lies. And then she seemed to give up on the task and stop asking questions. We had told her so many different things over the last couple of days. What was she supposed to believe anymore? Plans change and then unchanged and then change again. I don't blame her for being confused and feeling hurt. No one ever asked Rosalie what she wanted to do.

"Do you hear that"? I asked. "It sounds like seagulls."

She turned toward me. "I don't hear anything."

"Give it a moment."

The bird's screech again.

"I hear them! A-And I see them too!" She pointed upward.

I frowned and looked at the sky. "I don't see any birds."

"Give it a moment!"

We both laughed. I looked at Rose and smiled. I will never grow tired of her…

We return home before dawn and had soup for supper and the last of our bread. Afterward, Carlisle sat at the piano bench with Rosalie and she showed him a few tunes that Edward taught her. Oscar joined them later and it turns out that he's a professional at the keys. Rosalie giggled and begged him to play her song after song. He looked happy as he played and sang to her. Eventually, it grew dark outside and Rosalie fell asleep on the sofa. Carlisle carried her up the stairs and I followed him into our bedroom. He laid her down on our bed.

"Carlisle-"

He sighed. "I love you so much, Esme. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and then pulled me close, gently rubbing my arm. Later, I undressed and laid beside my sleeping child. I watched her for most of the night but my eyes drip with tears. My lips trembled and my shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down. She had closed herself off from me and laid with her back turned away. Slowly letting go...

I gave her a bath in the morning and washed her hair. She begged to wear her red dress with white pockets so I buttoned up the dress and brushed her hair for the last time. We went downstairs afterward and sat at the breakfast table. However, I felt slightly uneasy and I couldn't eat. I tried to sip on some tea while Rosalie ate her porridge and toast. Oscar came in, followed by Carlisle.

"What sort of woman is taking me to America?" Rosalie asked.

"A nanny," Oscar replied.

"Yes," She said. "But will she be nice or a bossy one?"

"I'm sure she'll be kind Rosalie," I spoke. "Or she wouldn't be a nanny at all."

"I had a nanny growing up," Carlisle commented.

Rosalie grinned. "Was she kind?"

"She fed me way too many chocolates." He teased.

Rose giggled. "I think I would be pleased to have that nanny!"

Once breakfast was over with, Rosalie and I brushed our teeth and I packed some last-minute things in her suitcase. Rosalie dug through her big suitcase (making sure I got everything) and pulled out the letters underneath her dresses.

"You can read those when you get to America," I told her.

"Is it from you?"

"Yes and some from Carlisle," I said.

She furrowed her brow. "Why don't you just let me read them now?"

"Because it's for New York, not now."

She shook her head. "Silly."

I realized that she hadn't smiled all morning. A real smile with teeth and dimples. Yesterday, I had seen the last of her smiles and I wouldn't get to see another.

"Darling!" Carlisle called up the stairs. "It's time honey."

I carried the suitcases down the stairs and Rosalie helped with the bag. Mrs. Uley was waiting at the bottom of the staircase and she held her arms out for Rose. She embraced her tightly.

Mrs. Uley leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "My little pet. Take of yourself and don't forget to write."

She turned quickly and escape to the kitchen. Alice and Jasper said their goodbyes before I walked Rosalie out. The front door was open and Carlisle was already in the driver's seat of the car. He looked at me but knew better than to say anything. Oscar waited outside of the car with the door open for Rose. I put my hand out and he took it, clasping it rather than shaking it.

_Such an odd man._

I kneeled and Rosalie's arms came around my neck. I pulled her against me and she gripped harder.

"Behave yourself, my love." I started to tremble. "Please remember that I love you so much."

Rosalie sobbed. "No! No! I haven't fed Buttercup! I have to go feed him!"

"Never mind that." I let go of her and force arms off my neck. "Maybe Aunt Gloria will have a pet rabbit for you to love. I'll take care of Buttercup."

She clung to me again. "Esme! I don't want to go! I want to stay here with you and the hens and Buttercup!"

Oscar tried to guide her to the car. "Come along Rosalie. Let's get into the car now."

I put my arm across her back and dragged her to the vehicle. She sat sideways on the seat and started to scream. She kicked me and tried to claw at my arms. I caught hold of her legs and pushed them around so that she faced the front.

"Hurry! Get in the car!" I told Oscar.

I slammed the door shut and Rosalie started to bang on the windows. Carlisle started the engine and Oscar hopped in.

"Esme! Esme! Mummy I don't want to go!" Rosalie cried. "Please! Don't make me go! Please!"

"Go," I said to Carlisle. "Drive on!"

He hesitated at first, but I stepped back from the car and Carlisle drove away. I watched them reach the end of the street and turn. I could still hear Rosalie calling my name until they were gone.

When the sound faded, I went inside and walked up the stairs. I wasn't sure where everyone else went but I didn't feel like talking anymore. I sat on Rosalie's bed and picked up her nightgown that she left behind. I held it against my face and breathed in her scent.

A single tear slid down from my eyes followed by another one and then another one until soon, a steady stream of salty tears flowed it's way down my cheeks, releasing the sadness and sorrow that had been trapped inside me all this time. I curled up in her covers and cried until I fell asleep.

How can I live anymore?


	14. Chapter 14

Depression. It is an unseen, unheard, silent killer. You can't escape it no matter how hard you try because it follows you like a black shadow that's eating you on the inside. After Rosalie's departure, I began to see darkness around the lights instead of the other way around and soon the color faded from my world. The weight of everything seemed to press down on my shoulders. I struggled to take even a single step forward. It was all too much. The darkness grew darker and the pain grew sharper; all of it seemed to only grow in strength and I began to wonder if things will ever get better.

"Hi, sweet girl." Carlisle leaned down and stroke my hair. "How about we try to get up today?"

My husband is a saint. Through all of this darkness, Carlisle was my angel. He took care of me every day. Bringing food up to our room or brushing the tangles out of my hair. He did so without a single complaint. Even Mrs. Uley lost her patience once and I haven't seen her in a few days. Carlisle said she felt embarrassed.

"It's a lovely day and you might enjoy some fresh air." He said.

I slightly nodded my head, unable to speak. Carlisle help me out of bed and dragged my body to the dressing room. He picked out a nice summer dress for me to wear and I slowly undressed and then changed. Afterward, I sat down at my vanity and gasped at my complexion. My eyes had sunken into dark hollows and I look like I had no soul. My makeup was long gone and I've never seen my hair so frizzy before.

I was a completely broken mess.

But Carlisle smiled and brushed through my curls. "You're so beautiful Esme. I am not worthy of your beauty."

"I look awful."

He kissed my head. "You look like an angel sent from Heaven. My angel. I am so lucky to have you as my wife. It is the greatest blessing of them all."

I watched him get ready for the day before he lead me down the stairs and into the kitchen. The moment I slid into my chair, I was served an enormous platter of food. Eggs, toast, potatoes, and some porridge.

My face twisted. "What is all of this?"

"Breakfast." Mrs. Uley beam.

"I'll never be able to finish it."

"Sweetheart," Carlisle spoke. "You haven't eaten in three days. Please try a little."

I sighed and felt the tears swell in my eyes. "I-I can't eat all of this."

Carlisle was out of his seat and by my side." Oh, honey, it's alright if you don't finish all of it. Just eat a little. Maybe try a bite of toast."

"I don't know even know why I'm crying." I sobbed.

"Ssssh," He pulled me into his arms. "It's okay baby."

I ended up eating one piece of toast and some eggs. Carlisle encouraged me along the way and I eventually stop crying. Honestly, it was such a frustrating process. How could I keep living like this? I felt absolutely miserable and I just wanted it to stop. I miss my old life. And more importantly, I missed _her_.

_Stop yourself right now Esme Cullen. _

Carlisle took me outside after he help Mrs. Uley with the dishes. He sat down me in one of the patio chairs and I watched as he pulled some weeds out of the gardens. I had Buttercup in my lap and he laid there while I stroke his soft fur. Carlisle had been right. It was such a lovely day outside. Blue skies, no wind, and ambient temperature. The puffy clouds radiated with joy and they look ready to disperse into the wind. Alice screams and laughter filled the air as Jasper tackled her to the ground and threaten to tickle her. It was a postcard-perfect day.

"What are you looking at Mrs. Cullen?" Carlisle teased.

I smiled slightly. "Nothing I suppose."

He sat next to me and held my hand. Buttercup ears pop up as he looked around quickly.

"You think he would be used to loud voices," Carlisle said.

I calmed the rabbit down. "Yes and especially around…"

I couldn't say her name out loud. It hurt too much and brought back so many different memories. Rosalie would have loved a day like this one. She'd run around with the others and begged Carlisle to throw her up in the air. Buttercup would've received no peace because Rose enjoyed dragging him around too much.

Today would have been one of her favorite days…

"It's alright, darling. You don't have to say it." Carlisle told me. "I know what you mean and I agree."

"When will it go away?" I asked.

He thought for a few minutes before answering. "I don't think it'll ever go away. We loved her too much. But maybe one day we won't be so sad about it. Instead, we'll look back and laugh at all our memories with her. I know I miss her love for toast."

I grinned. "I'll miss her begging you for kisses. There were a few times that I thought she was stealing my man."

"She did get jealous when I kissed you." Carlisle laughed. "I'll miss having tea with her. She always gave me extra cotton balls as sugar cubes."

"She adored you."

He looked at me. "And you as well."

I started to think about the last time I saw Rosalie. She was screaming and crying as I force her into the car. She had begged me to let her stay and she even called me 'mummy'. I wonder if she meant it? If she really meant to call me mummy-like she called Carlisle daddy? Did she think of us as parents? It's hard knowing that I'll never be able to ask her. I'm just left wondering.

"Esme," Carlisle spoke. "I wished I had better words and that I could help you heal. I'm as helpless as Oscar was the day he took Rose away from us. However, I want you to know that I love you. More than anything in this world. And I hope that someday maybe this life will be enough for you. I can't give you Rosalie. But I can give you a home filled with love and people who adore you."

Tears stream down my cheeks. "Oh, Carlisle. There's nothing I want more than to live this life with you. I'm so sorry honey for all of this. I wish I could be stronger, but I need to grieve."

"And I understand that, my love."

"You have helped me in more ways than I thought was ever possible," I said to him. "You've given me constant love and care. I don't even deserve it. But having you in my life has given me a reason to stay and fight. You are truly my inspiration, darling. I don't want to live a day in this life without you. You are my life."

He kissed my hand. "Likewise."

I slowly felt the weight lifted from my shoulders as if an overly large child had just leaped off after a satisfying piggyback ride. I began to realize that perhaps everything will be okay. Rosalie was gone. She never coming back. But I still have other things to look forward too. I have a wonderful husband who adores every aspect of me. I also had two adopted children that were beautiful and healthy. We've wanted to officially take Alice and Jasper for some time. Unfortunately, Jasper's mother passed away a month ago and he was left without a family. We applied for the adoption papers before Rosalie's departure and it became official a few days later. They weren't biologically our children, but emotionally we were very attached.

I loved introducing Alice and Jasper as my children. Being a mother was a beautiful thing and it brought me so much joy.

"We live a good life," I spoke.

Carlisle squeezed my hand. "I never thought I would fall in love with a nineteen-year-old."

"And look at you now."

He chuckled. "You walked into the coffee shop that day and I knew that I had to have you."

"I was nothing but a student then." I teased.

"You were absolutely beautiful. You took my breath away."

I rolled my eyes. "Now you're being dramatic."

"I promise that I'm not." His voice grew serious. "I purposely ran into you and spilled my coffee on your shirt."

"Carlisle Cullen!" I gasped. "Are you being serious? That was my favorite blouse!"

Carlisle laughed. "Beyond the point my love. I felt anxious that day, but then I was relieved when you forgave me. Any other woman would have snapped my neck."

"Well now since you brought it up…"

"You agreed to have dinner with me that night. " He continued. "I paid for your meal to make up for the accident. You told me stories about university and how you wanted to be a famous writer someday. I worried at the beginning of our relationship that I was being selfish. I knew that you were too young to be with an old man like myself, but I just couldn't let you go. I'm sorry if I've ever-"

"Don't apologize Carlisle." I interrupted him. "I have no regrets in this life. You asked me to marry you six months later and at first, I thought you were crazy. However, I've never loved anyone like I love you before. I was willing to risk it all so I could be with you. I would still do it over and over again."

"I wish I could give you Rose back."

I sighed. "Me too. But at least we have each other."

"Always." He said. "Forever?"

I felt myself smile. "Forever."

**(Seems like the end but I promise it's not. There's a whole lot more tea brewing up and about to be spilled. Thanks for hanging in there!) **


	15. Chapter 15

_**Dear Mrs. Cullen, **_

_**I'm writing to inform you that Rosalie has arrived safely in New York. I assure you that she has recovered from her great storm of grief at leaving you and your husband. She was a wonderful train companion on the way to London and she was very polite to the nanny, Mrs. Clearwater. She gave her no troubles and Mrs. Clearwater said she was very sleepy once she arrived in America. She is now settled with Gloria and I hope to hear from them soon. **_

_**I would like to express my gratitude at your kindness to my daughter during this unfortunate crisis. I couldn't have asked for better foster parents than you and Dr. Cullen. She's a lovely child and I think her mother would be proud of the young woman she has grown to be. I will never be able to make up for everything you've done. Please take this letter as an acknowledgment that I owe you in the near future. **_

_**Take care Mrs. Cullen and I hope you don't mind me sharing your address with Rose. She asked if she could still write to you and I didn't see an issue with that. She will always look up to you as a mother figure in her life. **_

_**Stay safe in this war. **_

_**Sincerely, **_

_**Oscar Jones **_

_A few months later… _

Renee held the bouquet, ready for the ceremony, while her hands twinged with sweat. She was nervous. Incredibly so. Her eyebrows frowned in worry and impatience. She glanced at the bouquet and gulped. It was nearly time...

"Did you hand the rings to Carlisle?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Good, good," Renee said.

She stood in silence for a few minutes.

"What about the priest? Is he here on time?"

I chuckled. "Renee I have everything prepared for today. I promise that everyone is where they're supposed to be."

She sighed. "I've never been cut out for this type of life. Where you this nervous when you married Carlisle?"

"Mhmm," I had to think about it. "Not really. I suppose I was just excited to marry the love of my life. I felt a tad nervous at first, but then I locked eyes with him as I was walking down the aisle and I knew that nothing had ever felt so right. It was meant to be."

"You're a hopeless romantic, ya know?"

I giggled. "Just wait. You won't be judging me for long."

Renee and Charlie dated for three months before he got down on one knee and asked for her hand in marriage. She was hesitant at first and it took her four days until she agreed to marry him. We planned the wedding in a month (although I tried to talk Renee out of it) and I wasn't surprised when Renee asked me to be her maid of honor. Carlisle was honored to be the best man and Jasper seem delighted to be a groomsman. He looked so dashing in his new tuxedo. Renee had also asked Bella and Alice to be her other bridesmaids and my daughter was more than pleased to be apart of the wedding.

"I can't wait until I get married." Alice sighed happily.

Bella snickered. "With who? Jasper? Your crush."

"He is not!" Alice shriek.

"Ladies!" I interjected. "There will be no arguing today! That will only make Renee more nervous."

"Plus none of you will be getting married for a very long time," Renee added.

Alice frowned. "Esme was nineteen when she got married."

"That's because Dr. Cullen old," Bella said. "He only has so long."

Renee muffled a laugh and I glared at her. "Keep giggling and I'll trip you down the aisle."

"You wouldn't!"

"Would too!"

The pastor's wife poked her head through the curtains. "Five minutes lady! Start lining up!"

It wasn't a traditional ceremony. Very few people attended the wedding and Renee decided that she only wanted the bridesmaids to walk down the aisle. The boys were already lined up at the alter waiting for us to join them. Bella and Alice stood in front of us and I took my spot next to Renee. She asked me to walk her down the aisle.

I noticed how she clench her fists tightly until her nails dig into my arm. "Renee, people are going to think that Carlisle harmed me."

She eased her grip. "Oh, sorry."

"Are you really this anxious?" I chuckled.

Renee looks pale. "No!"

"Relax!" I said. "This is the easy part! The hard part will come later when you've been married forever and he starts getting on your nerves."

She faintly smiled. "I suppose you're right."

The music began to play and the pastor's wife opens the doors. Alice and Bella walked one by one until it was the bride's turn. As we glided down the aisle, I locked eyes with Carlisle and was reminded of our wedding day. It's been eight years since we wed and Carlisle still looks at me with the incredible eyes of first love. I hope that Renee and Charlie would share the same type of passion. It was truly magical.

"Take care of my girl," I told Charlie.

He smiled and took Renee's hand. "You have my word."

The rest of the wedding went smoothly and Renee and Charlie ran out of the church building, giggling and holding hands. We said goodbye to them and then watched as they left for their honeymoon. Charlie rented a small cabin outside of town and I helped him decorate with candles and other romantic stuff beforehand. Renee had no clue that I packed extra nightgowns in her suitcase and I also slipped a few lace undergarments. I figured she would enjoy her wedding presents after the honeymoon was over with.

"What now?" Bella asked.

Carlisle beam. "How about some ice cream?"

All three children cheered. We found a local ice cream parlor nearby and I was surprised that it was still in business. The war had taken a lot of things away, but I'm glad that the children could enjoy at least this one thing. It's been a while since they've last had a sweet treat and Carlisle spoiled them with seconds. Eventually, the twilight stole away the colors of the day until the world looked like an old black and white movie. We drove back home before curfew began. I looked behind me and chuckled when I realized that all three children fell asleep in the backseat together. Bella had her head rested on Jasper's shoulder and Alice laid hers on his lap. They look absolutely adorable.

"I wish I had a camera," I whispered to Carlisle.

He grinned. "They look like sleeping angels."

"Do we have to wake them up?"

"I'm afraid so, my love."

Carlisle swept Bella up in his arms, waking Jasper up immediately. He grumbled and dragged himself out of the car. I carefully took Alice and carried her into the house. Mrs. Uley held the door open as we transferred our sleeping children inside. Jasper wished us goodnight before he disappeared in his room. Carlisle and I took the girls up to their old bedroom. We kept Rosalie's bed for sleepovers such as this one. We laid them down and turned out the lights. The girls never woke up. Not even once. We retreated to our bedroom afterward.

My lover wrapped his arms around me and I let my head rest upon his chest. "It was a lovely wedding."

"Lovely indeed." He agreed.

"Do you remember our wedding?"

Carlisle chuckled. "Of course I do."

"What was your favorite part?" I wondered.

"Our first dance." He replied. "Would you like to dance with me now?"

I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I will always dance with you."

Carlisle lean forwards, his warm breath in my ear, and then he hummed the song we used at our reception. I felt my lips creep into a grin as we dance and twirled around the room. No matter how long we've been married, we were always lovers first. Life had brought so many changes from newlyweds to parents. We've had some ups and downs, times of closeness that seared one another forever into each other's souls and then times of distance, of near isolation. Yet, we've always found a way back to being lovers. To passion first true kiss and the moment of union that makes lovers so special. He's my best friend. My husband. And I would never grow tired of our love.

Carlisle kept humming until he pulled me in closer and placed his lips against mine. I swear this man is an expert on keeping my heart beating. I'm sure without him I would have no will to live.

"You know," He muttered against my lips. "I also highly enjoyed our wedding night as well."

"Oh, really?" I teased.

"Really."

His tongue touched the seam of my lips and delved inside my mouth after I grant him access. Sparks flew in every direction and the world was slowly disappearing around us. Nothing else seems to matter at the moment.

_Besides love and hope… _

After Rosalie's departure, the pain ebbed. I thought I would feel the knives in my back forever, the long blades slicing into such a sensitive flesh. There were days when my brain felt electrocuted and the emotional pain was so encompassing. I simply existed as a matter of will power. Carlisle kept reminding me that sometimes you come out of these things stronger, and I suppose that's true. You can also come out wiser as well. I'm proud to say that I still have a loving heart. I will always dislike Oscar Jones and I would never forgive him for taking my precious girl away. This heart is not for everyone. It's not for the ones who threw knives.

However, I was feeling more optimistic than ever before. I started to see hope as a bright star in a hopelessly dark universe. I realized that hope is not just an emotion, but a promise that happiness is around the corner.

We still consider Rosalie as our youngest daughter. We tell curious town folks that we have three children. They usually wonder where the third child is and I would explain that she was away on holiday. We've received weird stares and unsteady looks, but Carlisle and I never cared nor did it bother us. I placed Rosalie photos all over the house and on the fireplace mantle. She still very much apart of our lives and even at Renee's wedding we saved an empty seat for her.

Yet, time does heal the heart. There will never come a day where I don't think of Rosalie or worry about her wellbeing. But I can feel the nascent sunlight caress on my skin, baring promises of new dawn… new hope of beginning.

_My dearest Esme, _

_I miss you oh so terribly much! America is a very strange place, especially in New York. It's very crowded here and difficult to process all at once. Some people point out my accent and laugh at my failed attempts to pronounce certain slang words. I just don't understand the customs here and I fear that I will never be able to adapt. _

_I hate daddy and I even kicked him in the groin! I miss Buttercup and the hens. Can't you just come get me? Buttercup will be cold in the winter if I'm not there to keep him warm in my embrace. I don't want him to freeze to death! _

_I don't think I will ever grow to love this place or my family. I want to come back to England and play with Alice and Bella! _

_I am very upset and angry! I can never forgive you and daddy for what you have done! _

_Sincerely. _

_Rosalie Hale Cullen (NOT JONES) _


	16. Chapter 16

_**My beautiful Rose, **_

_**Of course, you're angry, darling. I don't blame you for being upset. I can imagine you in my mind's eye, glaring at me like you did when you were small. I wish I could do something to help, but your life is in America now. Please don't take your anger out on daddy. He's only trying to do the best for you. **_

_**Also, do not worry about Buttercup. Alice is taking wonderful care of him and I sometimes let him hop in the house. He enjoys sitting on my lap by the fire while I pet and feed him treats. He is one spoiled little bunny! I promise that he won't freeze to death in the winter. It's not possible. **_

_**Why don't you tell me a little about your new home in America? What are your cousins like? I'm sure they're more fun then Bella and Alice. It must be nice to have children close to your age. Daddy made it sound like Aunt Gloria is a lovely woman. I hope she feeds you toast. **_

_**We must be strong my love. Do not let the war get to you. You have a beautiful heart, Rosalie. You might be stubborn at times, but I know deep down inside is just a little girl who needs love and laughs. Give your family a chance to love you. Just like you let me love you. **_

_**Renee and Charlie just got married and they're about to return from their honeymoon. Renee misses you and sometimes she lets Buttercup play with Mr. Carrots. They're quite fond of each other. We saved you a seat at the wedding. I thought you would like to know that you're still apart of our lives. We have not forgotten you. **_

_**I love you so much, darling girl. Please take care and don't hesitate to write again soon. I would love to hear your adventures in the great big city of New York. **_

_**Love always, **_

_**Esme Cullen (NOT PLATT) **_

I woke up from a restless sleep to glimpse at the radiant sun peaking above the horizon out of my window. It extended its vivid light across the deep crimson sky and its dazzling rays flowed through the window providing warmth to my body. I burrowed myself into the warm, soft sheets. I rubbed the remainders of sleep from my eyes and gazed out at the horizon. It was beautiful. But the moment only lasted for a few seconds.

I felt my stomach tightened and ached all the more. Then I could taste it at the back of my mouth. I got out of bed and stumbled across to the other side of the room. I buckled over as a warm, clouded, cream-colored liquid spilled from my mouth and splashed in the toilet. My stomach felt like a set of bagpipes being squeezed. With a heaving lurch from my stomach, another small mouthful of bile dribbled from my quivering lips into the waiting pool of vomit.

I let out a loud groan. "Bloody hell."

After a few minutes, my stomach settled down and I somehow manage to crawl back into bed. I squeezed my eyes shut and eventually the nausea went away. I laid in bed for an extra hour before I slowly got up and clean myself. This wasn't the first incident where I woke up with a sudden urge to puke. It happen all last week and I mistook it as food poisoning. But now I was beginning to think that maybe it was more than just something I ate.

"You look awful." Mrs. Uley commented.

I growled. "Thanks. I didn't know."

I washed my hands in the sink and started to roll my dough. I felt her eyes watching me and I was getting irritated.

"What are you look at?" I snapped. "Can't a woman bake bread?"

"You're pregnant."

I gasped. "What?"

"You're carrying a little low." Mrs. Uley noted. "And you're breast are fuller. How long have you been feeling sick?"

"Almost two weeks."

Mrs. Uley chuckled. "It also explains your hormones."

"It doesn't explain anything." I rolled my eyes. "You can't tell I'm pregnant by just looking at me."

"Then ask Dr. Cullen."

"I'm not getting his hopes up again. It's unfair." I sneered.

"Suit yourself." She sighed.

She turned away from me and moved the eggs around the pan. I went back to my dough and thought about it for a few seconds. Pregnant? Me? Impossible! We have been trying for almost three years and almost a month ago I decided to give up. Every Time I thought I was pregnant it always came back negative. Carlisle begged me to keep trying, but I was beginning to get restless. We were mating like rabbits every day and although I enjoy making love to Carlisle, I needed a moment to breathe and rest. Eventually, it just didn't seem worth it anymore and I gave up hope that I'll ever get pregnant.

It just wasn't meant to be.

"Good morning ladies." Carlisle walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, darling."

He kissed my cheek. "You look beautiful today, my love."

I frowned. "I don't feel so beautiful today."

"Oh?" He raised a brow. "And why not?"

I open my mouth to speak but then shut it as a loud thumping noise came down the stairs.

"My ankle!" Alice cried.

I followed Carlisle and Mrs. Uley to the staircase. Alice laid helplessly on the floor grasping her ankle. Bella and Jasper ran down the stairs and stood in front of her.

"We were just playing!" Bella exclaim.

"No one was supposed to get hurt!" Jasper said.

Carlisle raised his hands. "Children calm down and tell me what happen."

"We got bored," Jasper explained. "So I found some dumpster lids outside and we were going to slide down the stairs on the lids. Alice volunteered to go first, but she somehow flipped over and tumbled the rest of the way down."

I kneeled to Alice and stroke her hair. "How do you feel sweetheart?"

"My ankle is throbbing." She whined.

Mrs. Uley swatted at Bella and Jasper. "Fools! What on Earth made you think that this was a good idea! Someone could have snapped their neck! These wooden stairs are hard as rocks!"

"Now calm down Mrs. Uley," Carlisle spoke. "There's no use in getting upset. What you children did was very careless, but at the moment I'm more concerned about Alice's wellbeing. Alice, honey, let's try to stand up and see if you can put any pressure on it."

Alice nodded her head and tried to stand up with Carlisle's help. She put the slightest pressure on her ankle and immediately started to howl. Carlisle swept her up in his arms and laid her on the couch.

"Jasper go into my office and see if I have any medical tape." He instructed.

Jasper ran up the stairs and I could hear him hurry into Carlisle's office. I looked at Alice's ankle and notice that it was starting to swell. It was slightly blue and I couldn't tell whether or not if I was seeing a piece of her bone sticking out.

"Carlisle…"

He followed my eyes and sighed. "Great."

"Dad!" Jasper hollered from the upstairs. "I can't find any!"

Carlisle hissed. "Dammit. I must have used all of it when Rosalie's arm got attacked by the hens."

"What do we do now?" I asked.

He sighed. "We have to take her to the hospital. The car ran out of the gas. I'll have to see if Mr. Denali will let me borrow his truck."

Alice whimpered. "Daddy it hurts."

"I know honey. We'll fix it." He assured her.

Carlisle and Jasper walked to the Denali's and Eleazar was kind enough to lend us his truck. We carefully set Alice in the back seat and shut the door.

"Son I need you to stay here," Carlisle told Jasper.

"But dad!"

"I don't want to hear it, mister. You and Bella already have gotten yourself in enough trouble." Carlisle said. "I want you to stay here and help Mrs. Uley with the breakfast table. Afterwards, you can walk Bella home and help with the house chores. The barn needs to be clean out today."

Jasper groaned. "Yes, sir."

Carlisle ruffled his hair before getting in the car. We drove the short distance to the hospital and I followed him inside. Alice clutched his shirt and hid her face in the crook of his neck. I walked close to him as I held his arm and avoided looking at the patients who surrounded us. Some men appeared beat up and bruised. Some had so much blood on their faces that they were barely recognizable. I've never seen anything like it.

"They're soldiers," Carlisle whispered. "Well, some of them at least. The others have either been bombed or somehow got caught in the war. This isn't even the worst of it."

I held my breath. "How awful."

Carlisle pulled us into his office and laid Alice down on the sofa. He search through his cabinets until he found some medical tape and bandages.

"I don't have the materials to put you in a cast." He explained to Alice. "Everything we have is needed for the invasion. This will have to do for now."

He lightly touched Alice's ankle and she flinch. Carlisle examines the bone before deciding that it needed to be reset. I held her hand and watch her scream as Carlisle put the bone back into place. I tried to soothe her to the best of my ability, but Alice blackout for a few seconds and then slowly came back. He wrapped her ankle tightly and secured it with some tape.

A soft knock came from the door and Dr. Snow popped in. "Dear lord Carlisle. I heard a scream and wonder if you were murdering someone."

"My daughter had an accident this morning. I'm afraid that she might of fracture her ankle." Carlisle told him.

Dr. Snow shook his head. "Damn kids. I have seven myself. They're always getting into some type of trouble and finding things to do."

"Yes, I suppose kids will be kids."

Dr. Snow walked closer and looked at the ankle. "I wish we had better resources. I'm not sure how that bandage will hold up. If it doesn't look any better in a week or so, let me know and I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, doctor," I said.

"Is it possible to access a wheelchair?" Carlisle asked.

Dr. Snow thought for a few minutes before answering. "I'm not positive, but ask Dr. Carter and maybe he could help you."

Carlisle nodded his head. "Thank you. I'll be right back."

He stood up and left the room. I turned to Alice and tried to comfort her. She was still whimpering with her eyes shut and I wasn't sure whether if she was awake or not.

"Pretty little thing." Dr. Snow commented.

"She something else when she awake."

"I can only imagine." He chuckled. "My twelve-year-old is pretty ambitious as well. Gracie can't help but get into some type of trouble."

"My Alice isn't trouble," I spoke. "Ambitious. Very much so."

Alice looked so helpless and tiny at the moment. I've never seen her in such pain before and it was killing me that I couldn't do anything about it. She looked as pale as I did this morning, which made me think a little bit more.

"Dr. Snow? Would it be possible to do a pregnancy test?"

His eyes grew. "On the girl?"

"No, no." I chuckled. "I would kill her if she was pregnant. I need one for myself."

"Really? Carlisle never mention that you were trying."

I shrugged. "It is a personal matter."

"Of course. I apologize for being impolite." He said. "I could do one right now and give Carlisle the results later."

"That won't be necessary." I felt myself panic slightly. "You can just call me when you get the results."

Dr. Snow furrowed his brow. "Mrs. Cullen I don't mean to intrude, however, is Dr. Cullen aware that you might be with child?"

I bowed my head. "No. I don't want to break his heart if the test comes back negative."

"I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes." He replied. "It took my wife and me eight years before we had our oldest. It was worth it. But I remember what it felt like every time that test came back negative. It's disheartening."

"Definitely so." I agreed.

"We can do a test and I will call you once I receive the results."

"Thank you, doctor!"

"It is my pleasure. Anything for a friend." Dr. Snow said.

I quickly took the test before Carlisle's return. He didn't suspect a single thing and instead, he was disappointed that he couldn't find a wheelchair for Alice. It didn't matter though. Alice needed to rest and it wouldn't hurt her to slow down for once. We loaded her back in the truck and drove home.

"Is she okay?" Jasper worried.

"She fine." Carlisle laid Alice in her bed. "She needs to take it easy though until we know whether if the bone will heal or not."

"I'm so sorry dad."

Carlisle grinned slightly. "It's alright son. You've learned your lesson."

A week passed and Alice was adjusting well to her new lifestyle. She had been upset at first soI promise that once she healed I would take her shopping. I felt thankful towards Jasper for keeping her mind distracted until then. He took great care of Alice and brought all her meals upstairs. He also read her books although I don't think she was very fond of war stories. I enjoyed hearing Alice giggles and I think she was quite smitten over Jasper.

A week has passed and I still hadn't heard anything from Dr. Snow. He warned me that the test results would take several days. Unfortunately, I can't stand it any longer and I'm slowly starting to lose my patience. Carlisle eventually caught on and pointed out my edginess.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I told him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Esme you've been staring at the phone for the past few days. Honey, what on Earth has gotten into you?"

"Nothing. It's a lovely telephone, don't you think?"

"Does it have something to do with Rose?" He wondered.

"Of course not!" I spilled some of my tea on my skirt. "I would have told you if it had anything to do with Rosalie."

"Es-"

The telephone rang and I stood up from the kitchen table (a little too quickly), but Carlisle was still faster and he beat me to the phone. I felt my heart drop and I prayed that it wasn't Dr. Snow. Carlisle face twisted and then he set the phone down slowly.

Was I not pregnant? Is he upset because I didn't tell him? I wish he would just spit it out already!

"Carlisle?" I spoke. "What is it?"

"It's Edward and Emmett."

I gasped. "Are they okay?"

"They've been bombed."

_Dear Esme Cullen, _

_I would like to inform you that I hate New York and I will never learn to love it. I won't speak to my father and instead, I demand to talk to Carlisle. Oscar Jones is a foolish man and I will never love him. I've already made that decision. _

_I also don't think my aunt is such a lovely lady. Aunt Gloria does not compare to your beauty. She has dirty blonde hair and her eyes are green. She fat. Or I suppose curvy, but it's obvious that she has beared children. I have five cousins. Three girls and two boys. Let's see there's Jacob (age 15), Margaret (age 13), Frank (age 10), Daisy (age 7), Ruby (age 4), and then Aunt Gloria is expecting in the fall. She said if the baby was a boy then they're going to name it Richard Lawerence Norman. The girl will be Virginia Jean Norman or Shirley Jean Norman. I think Virginia is an awful name. It makes me want to vomit. _

_My cousins are okay I suppose. I don't see Margaret and Jacob as much. They're busy with school and friends. Frank is the most annoying person I've ever meant and the other day I pushed him in the pond. Unfortunately, he knows how to swim. Daisy and Ruby will play dollies will me although Ruby usually wants to play with my dolls and then she cries when I take them away from her. Aunt Gloria will yell at me to give them back which is unfair! They're not her dolls! Little witch! _

_I would have loved to attend the wedding. Renee promised me that I could be a flower girl if she ever married Charlie. I also miss Buttercup and I wish I could pet his fur. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and cry myself to sleep thinking about England and the family I left behind. New York is extremely cold at the moment and Aunt Gloria's husband (Ernest) won't let us play outside unless if it's chores. Ernest isn't as kind as Carlisle. He's a very quiet man and he doesn't pay much attention to me. That's fine. I don't want to talk to him either. _

_I don't want to be strong Esme. What type of rubbish is that?! I do not have a kind heart. At the moment, my heart is cold as ice. I want to escape and come home. Won't you help me? _

_Don't say you love me because you don't. If you loved me then you wouldn't of let Oscar whisk me away. Nasty woman! _

_Sincerely, _

_Rosalie dead cold heart _


	17. Chapter 17

**_My Sweet Girl, _**

**_What on Earth am I going to do with you? You silly little rascal! You're going to get yourself in a heat of trouble someday! _**

**_Please be kind to your new friends. Ruby just so small that she doesn't understand. Remember when you took Alice and Bella fabric that one time? You didn't ask for it and they felt deeply betrayed that you would take something so important to them. I made you do chores to make up for it. I think that's when you started to love the hens. You know… they don't miss you chasing them like the wicked girl you were! Now they don't get as many treats anymore. Fifi has been losing some weight because of it. _**

**_Also, be kind towards your aunt. Describing someone as "fat" is highly inappropriate for a young lady. I will say that I do envy Aunt Gloria though. She has taken my favorite little girl and she been blessed with another bundle of joy. I wish I could give Esme a baby. I also wish I could give her you. She hasn't been the same since you've left us. The house is quieter now and Mrs. Uley doesn't make as much toast anymore. I miss how you butter my toast in the morning and snuck sugar cubes in my coffee. Such a clever girl… _**

**_Your heart is not as cold as ice Rosalie. You've always been a tad dramatic. You are my sweet kitty cat. I saved all the drawings you've given me over the last few years. They are taped on my office wall so I'm always reminded of you. I like to keep a photo of you in my wallet as well. Sometimes I will show the other doctors and nurses at work the picture of my little girl. They agree that you're the most adorable child God has ever blessed this Earth. _**

**_Don't tell Esme but I have a jar hidden in my office. Every day I put some spare change in there to save it for when I surprise her and take us to New York to see you. I'm close to a pound right now. It's a slow process, but eventually, we will have enough money to come visit. I promise Rosalie that we'll make it there someday. Hopefully, this war will end soon and we will be able to travel again. I can't wait to see your face and hug you. _**

**_I'm honored that you wanted to hear from me. You've always had a special place in my heart. Attach to this letter is some money for a new dollie. That way you have more toys and you won't have to share with Ruby. Please take care dear and I hope to hear from you soon. _**

**_I love you Rosie Posie. More than you will ever know. _**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Dr. Carlisle Cullen _**

**_Ps. Do not drown your cousin in the pond! How foolish! I will come to New York myself and spank you! _**

_War. _

War tears families apart, even those who were once close as brothers. Victims of war are constantly drowned in tidal waves of regret and pain. Pain isn't simple. It's physical, mental, and emotional. All victims feel it. In war nowhere is safe.

With that being said…

Negative actions create negative chaos and negative chaos is destructive. However, positive actions create positive chaos and positive chaos is constructive. And maybe one day when we look back at the history of war and peace we will see these simple truths at the heart of the matter.

Until then… we will continue to fight.

Mrs. Masen lost her fight today. I tried warning Elizabeth that it wasn't safe yet and the boys were better off staying in the country a little bit longer. However, she didn't want to listen and that cost not only her life but her husband as well.

It had been a beautiful day. The week-long storm washed every sidewalk and gutter clean and a tincture of freshness still lingered in the air. The Masen's were enjoying a nice family dinner in the city when the first bomb struck. The second bomb fell only a few blocks away from them, causing multiple buildings to crumble and crack. Elizabeth told the boys to run and seek shelter. She promise them that she would catch up later once she took care of Edward Sr.

She never made it.

Edward and Emmett ran until a nice elderly couple help them seek shelter in the sewers. Edward Sr. begged Elizabeth to go on without him. He knew that she wouldn't be able to wheel him to shelter fast enough. He was willing to sacrifice his life so he could save his wife from despair.

But Elizabeth wouldn't listen.

Bystanders reported a woman pushing a man with missing limbs in a wheelchair. However, she was heading in the wrong direction. It took only minutes before the third bomb drop and she fell over with the wheelchair. The man landed face-first on the concrete and it was obvious that either he sustain serious head injuries or he was deceased. Blood poured from his forehead and he looked unresponsive to his wife's cries. She pulled him into her arms and begged him to wake up. Elizabeth then decided to drag Edward Sr. down the street. The wheelchair was broken and she didn't have a choice if she wanted to bring him along. She got down a few blocks before another bomb struck and then that was it.

The building in front of her blew up and crashed down. Killing several maybe thousands of innocent victims. People who were caught off guard. They never saw it coming.

"Edward told authorities that his name was Cullen," Carlisle spoke quietly. "Edward Cullen. That's how they were able to track us down and call."

I shook my head. "I-I tried to reason with Elizabeth. She wouldn't listen to my pleas. Carmen had warned me how dangerous that area still was. I should have done more."

"Edward Cullen." He whispered.

Edward and Emmett were sent to a refugee camp outside of the city. Once they realized that their parents had passed, they followed the group of orphans until Edward told the headmistress that he had foster parents who would come and get them. She asked what his name was and he responded with "Edward Cullen". It didn't take long before they track us down and ask if we wanted to adopt the children. Of course, we said yes.

"Honey I think you should stay here," Carlisle told me.

I furrowed my brow. "Why? I want to be there when we get our boys back."

"Love it's not safe."

"It's not safe anywhere."

He sighed. "Esme do you remember what happen with Oscar Jones and the trip to London you made on your own."

"And I told you that I would try my best to stay out of trouble, but I wasn't going to promise anything." I reminded him.

"Esme Ann-"

"Carlisle!" I interrupted. "I am not a child! We already had this conversation and we aren't going to have it again! I am going with you and that's final."

"I don't think you're ready."

"I do beg your pardon?"

Carlisle looked out the window before bowing his head. "It's not rainbows and sunshine out there. There's going to be destruction and people covered with ash or blood. Death. You will be surrounded by a sea of death. We have to pass the city to get to the boys. I just don't want to upset you since it's all so new to you."

"Darling," I took a seat next to him and held his hand. "I understand where you're coming from. I haven't been exposed to the terrors of war. However, the children have been through so much and they just lost both of their parents. They might be hysterical and you can't handle them alone. I need to be there for our children. We have to do this together."

Carlisle squeezed my hand. "I suppose you're right."

"Always." I grinned.

He chuckled. "Such a pest."

"You love me anyway."

"I will love you for eternity."

I help Mrs. Uley prepare lunch for the other children before our departure. I also clean the boy's empty room and laid down some new pillows and blankets. Jasper dusted off the piano keys for Edward and pulled out some of his favorite music sheets.

"He might like to play when he comes home," Jasper beam.

I ruffled his hair. "Thank you, son."

The phone rang and Mrs. Uley answered it. I heard her tell the caller to hold on as she popped her head in the living room. "Mrs. Cullen it's for you."

"Me?" I took the telephone and put it against my ear. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Cullen!" Dr. Snow exclaim.

_I almost forgot. _

My heart race. "D-Dr. Snow. How do you do?"

"I'm just fine." He said. "Thank you for asking. Your test results came back."

"Oh? And what is it?"

I prepared myself for disappointment. I rehearsed it all in my head for several days now. _I'm terribly sorry ma'am. They've come back negative. _We've been trying for almost three years with no luck. Why would I expect anything different?

"Well…." Dr. Snow began.

"You're killing me, Dr. Snow." I groaned.

He snickered. "Congratulations Mrs. Cullen. You're expecting."

I dropped the phone and it bangs against the wall. _Pregnant?" _

"Hello?" Dr. Snow sounded worried. "Mrs. Cullen?"

I slowly pick up the phone. "Yes. Well, that's just wonderful news. Thank you, doctor."

"Don't thank me. Thank God. I'm sorry dear but I'm afraid I have to run. Patients need me. Congratulations again and please take care of yourself." He said before hanging up.

I put the phone back on the wall and touched my stomach. _I'm pregnant. _Oh, but what terrible time it was to be pregnant! I-I'm supposed to bring the boys home today and Alice's ankle hasn't healed. There was still talk of an invasion and the war wasn't supposed to end anytime soon. Oh and poor Rosalie. What will she think about all of this? Have I replaced her?

"Sweetheart, who was it?" Carlisle asked.

I swallowed. "No one darling. We should get going."

I walked passed Carlisle and hurried out the door. I couldn't tell him yet. He was too stressed to be excited right now. Maybe once the boys are settled I could tell him. That seemed like the best option for now.

"Alright then…" He followed after me.

We traveled by train to the country where the boys were kept safe. On our way, we passed the city and I felt my stomach drop. The battlefield laid quiet, for it was now a graveyard of the unburied. They laid like dolls over the grass, limbs at awkward angles and heads held in such a way that they cannot be sleeping. These bodies, once the repositories of people as alive as I am, are now abandoned shells left in the open. Who will bury them and send them away with a love song and kiss the breeze that carries them heaven bound? It was horrific.

Carlisle held my hand. "I warned you. It's a disturbing scene."

"D-Did they ever find the remains of the boy's parents?" I wondered.

Carlisle sighed. "Unfortunately, nothing else remains beside a bunch of rubbish."

"How awful."

The country was more pleasant. Rustic houses dotted the grassy hills as trees stood up like spikes, zigzagging the border of brick roads and rivers streamed through deep valleys. A much better place for children.

The train came to a halt and the passengers filed out quickly. I followed Carlisle off the train and we walked a few blocks to the orphanage. The orphanage was just an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere. I remember the mistress saying that their home was not permanent. They just go where they're told. Some of these children have lost their families and others are waiting for their families to come back for them. I felt for these kids. I knew what it was like growing up in an orphanage and I wouldn't want that for another child. It's miserable.

"Everything alright darling?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded. "Yes. Let's get our boys back."

He knocked on the door and we waited. A small young woman eventually answered the door and welcome us in. She fetches the headmistress who came running down the staircase.

"Oh thank heavens!" She exclaims. "I was afraid you would forget about us! I've had to ration the food but it's still not enough!"

"Where are the boys?" I pondered.

Carlisle shook the mistress's hand. "I apologize for the introduction. My wife is eager to have our children back. My name is Carlisle Cullen and this is Esme Cullen."

"Of course! No worries at all!" The mistress chuckled. "Please call me Doris. My full name is Doris Grant."

"It's very nice to meet you, Doris," I said.

"My assistant Lulu is getting the boys as we speak. They just finished their snack." She explained.

"How are they doing?"

Doris' shoulders sagged. "Emmett hasn't spoken a word since the invasion."

"Not a single word?" Carlisle raised his brows.

"Nope."

"Doris! I found them!" Lulu called out.

Lulu came around the corner and behind her was the boys. Edward's eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glossy layer of tears. As he blinked, they dripped from his eyelids and slide down his cheeks. He bit his lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth. My heart sank.

Emmett stood so still. His face was drowning in sorrow yet a spark of strength let him stay strong. Then the waterfalls emerged from his eyes along with cries and sobs. What had he done to deserve this?

Edward's lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of his mouth. "Mom. Dad."

"Come here, sons," Carlisle said.

They ran into our arms and we held them as they cried. I kissed their forehead and ensured them they were safe now. We would never let anything happen to them.

"Ssssh my loves," I told them. "It's okay now."

Edward bawled. "It's was awful mom!"

"It's okay. You're safe." Carlisle repeated. "You're safe."

_War. _

A three-letter word that can obliterate everything.

_Dearest Carlisle, _

_I don't believe for one second that you would come to New York and spank my behind! You've never even lifted your hand to me! Now, Uncle Ernest has taken his belt and whipped me a few times. Sometimes Aunt Gloria will run after me with a wooden spoon! I think I rather take the belt… _

_Aunt Gloria took me to the city after I finished washing the dishes. I was able to purchase the most wonderful doll with the money you gave to me. She has fair skin and brown curly hair. Her eyes are brown and she has a lovely dress. It's pink with white polka dots! I wish Mrs. Uley could make me the same dress! The doll sort of reminds me of Esme. I like to sleep with her at night. I think I'll call her London. _

_I wish Esme could bear a child. It's unfair that someone so unkind like Aunt Gloria could have six children and Esme hasn't even been blessed with one. I hope someday she will give me a little sister. We could play dollies and I'll share Buttercup with her! I would be the best big sister. I promise I won't push her in the pond. As long as she nice to me. _

_Please do come to New York soon. I am miserable here! I miss you and Esme so much! We could see the Statue of Liberty and eat pizza! The pizza is rather good here. And maybe just maybe you could take me home! I want to come home, daddy! _

_Now I told you I was sorry about the fabric thing. I thought Alice and Bella have forgiven me? It was such lovely colors and it went beautifully on my peg dolls! I have no regrets. And please give the hens a treat! Fifi likes it! Don't starve my rabbit either! Or I'll come and whip your behind!_

_I love you too daddy. Don't forget about me, alright? Keep showing my photograph and tell all those pretty nurses that I get it from you. I hope to back in your arms rather soon! _

_Always yours, _

_Rosie Posie _


	18. Chapter 18

**_Sweet Rosalie, _**

**_I will never get tired of watching Carlisle with you. He truly adores you and he has missed your loss greatly. Your letter brought him so much joy and he's glad that you found a new dollie. He can't wait to meet her someday. _**

**_Oh, Rose. I wish I could say that things have gotten better, but they haven't. Just last week we brought Edward and Emmett home. They lost their parents in the raids and now they're orphans. It's been difficult. Both boys are traumatized and I can't even imagine how you felt when the first bomb fell in London. They're lost and confused. Edward barely plays the piano anymore and Emmett wishes you were still here. You always had a way of distracting us from reality. _**

**_I also found out that I am expecting. Shocking isn't it? I suppose you might be getting that little sister after all. I haven't told Carlisle or anyone just quite yet. I'm a little scared to since we've been through so much. I don't want to upset anyone or make things harder. Hopefully, this storm cloud will pass through soon and we will see the sun again. Until then… all I feel is the rain. _**

**_My beautiful girl, I miss you so much! I miss braiding your hair and chasing you around the yard! I miss yelling at you to stop torturing the poor hens and making toast every morning for you. I just miss everything about you, dear. _**

**_However, I have hope. I hope that someday we will be reunited. I hope that I will get to see you go off to your first dance and I hope you meet a nice boy someday. I pray that I will be there when you graduate from school and maybe see you go off to university. I want to be up close at your wedding and I also want to be the first person to hold your future babies. In general, I just want to always be there for you. _**

**_Don't be discouraged my darling. Have some faith. This is not the last you will hear from Esme Cullen. _**

**_I'll love you for the rest of my life. _**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_You're second mother_**

_Grief. _

Grief feels like an emptiness in your heart, a sheer of nothingness that somehow takes over and holds your soul and threatens to kill you. It gives you this heavy feeling that's like the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders. There's nothing you can do to get out from under it. Grief is like a hole in your heart that is the shape of the one you lost. It makes you feel the need to wipe away any non-existent tears that you want to form. But can't…

Edward cried until there was nothing left inside but a raw emptiness that nibbles at his insides like a hungry rat. His eyeballs dangled heavy in their sockets while his whole body hung limp like each limb weighed twice as much as it had before and moving was slow and painful. The sun still shines in the sky, but not for him. The birds sang in a burst of melody, but Edward found no beauty left in the world.

The emptiness in his heart. The numbness pounding in his brain. The salty tears that flowed unchecked from his eyes. The sheer nothingness that now took hold of his soul and threatened to engulf him entirely. The grief came in waves and he was at mercy of its whims. At times, it nibbled at him with such ferocity that he feared it would leave him as an empty shell.

He was broken.

Edward's lips trembled. "Why does it hurt so much?"

"I don't know son." I rubbed his arm. "It'll get better someday."

"When?"

I sighed. "These things take time and you might never feel one hundred percent again. However, you will heal with time and maybe one day you'll wake up and won't feel it as much."

"Have you ever lost somebody you loved?" Edward sniffed.

I kissed the top of his head. "I have. My mother and little brother passed away when I was a child. I loved my younger brother dearly and I've never recovered from his loss. My father and my older brother also abandoned us. I've mourn their loss as well. I did feel awful for some time when my unborn child died unexpectedly."

"Whoa." Edward lifted his head from my lap. "You've lost so much. I don't understand how you do it."

I chuckled. "I don't either. I suppose it helps that I have a family now. You children bring so much joy into my life. I also have Carlisle and I love him more than words can ever describe. I've lost a lot in my life, but I've also been given multiple gifts. God replaces the pain and unhappiness with laughter and love. I promise you will experience the same thing eventually."

He nodded his head. "I hope so."

Edward had been depressed, while Emmett was mad.

Lately, Emmett lived in anger, almost like a cartoon character, so lost in the moment that he was tormenting his brain. I first saw it in his eyes and then I noticed the tension of his muscles, an inability to think clearly soon followed. His fists would stay firmly by his sides and his words did more damage than they ever have. Carlisle and I tried to remind him that anger is born of pain and sadness, that he needed to calm himself and ignite his feelings of love and protectiveness in moments of anger. When we saw those flickers of fire we blew him a kiss and sent him to bed. But Emmett was slowly getting out of hand.

He jabbed his pointed finger in the air, his eyes narrowed and set hard. "Damn God! If he even exists which I doubt he does!"

"Emmett!" I shriek. "Do not say such terrible things! God does exist and he loves you very much."

Carlisle rested a hand on Emmett's shoulder. "Son I understand why you're angry. It's not fair. I lost my mother and I never had the opportunity to even meet her. She died giving birth to me. It's very frustrating and I question God at times. However, God is real and I know that because he spared your life and brought you back to our home. He has different plans for you."

"I don't want it!" Emmett shouted and moved away from his hand.

"Emmett, what do you mean?" I asked.

He fumed. "I don't want God's plan! I was supposed to move back home and live the rest of my life with my parents! My father had promised to take me bear hunting again! We were going to go fishing and hike the mountains in the Alps! We had plans to travel!"

"Son I don't mean to upset you," Carlisle said. "But you're father sustain major injuries in the war. It's not possible that he would be able to travel or join you in outdoor activities. He never could do so."

"You're lying!" Emmett roared.

"Emmett Cullen! That's enough!" I snapped.

And that's how it usually went. We fought Emmett every day until he pushed one final button and someone snapped. He ran upstairs to his room afterward and slammed his door shut. We wouldn't see him for the rest of the evening.

Carlisle pulled me into his arms and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "It's okay my love. He needs to take this time and grieve. Eventually, he'll move past it and our son will come back to us."

"Let's pray that it's sooner rather than later," I mumbled.

There's a certain level of tiredness that equates to insanity. For me, it's when I'd like to temporarily dislocate my spirit from my body and ask God to take me out for just a short while. I'm a fairly brave person, but sometimes I just don't want to feel the process of recovery all over again. I know I'll wake up feeling okay in the morning. It's just simply a level of tiredness that hurts.

Fighting with Emmett every night was tiring and it made me sick to my stomach.

Carlisle noticed my distress and carried me up to our bedroom. "You need to rest."

"Carlisle I'm just fine," I assured him.

He laid me down in bed and pulled the covers up to my chest. "Darling are you sure everything alright? You seem more exhausted than usual. I've also realized that you've become greatly ill."

"My love I'm-"

_Pregnant. _

But for some reason, I couldn't say it. I had been debating about telling him for some time. I felt nervous though and I wanted the moment to be perfect. It was difficult to find the perfect moment to tell him when we were constantly arguing with Emmett and comforting Edward. Now just didn't seem like the right time.

"Sweetheart you can tell me. What is it?" Carlisle wondered.

I open my mouth but closed it once I realized his demeanor. He sat, tired eyes, and slumped over the bed. He was unshaven and unwashed. His shirt buttons had been done up in the wrong holes. He needed to sleep. I didn't want to burden him until his needs were meant.

"I'm alright," I told him.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright." He muttered, rubbing his eyes fiercely.

I pulled him in closer. "Come to bed."

"I'm fine."

I rolled my eyes. "Carlisle you need rest. Please lay down with me and keep me company."

He eagerly wraps his arms around my waist and buried his head in my hair. His eyes slipped closed and I felt him go limp.

The next morning went the same. Nausea clawed at my throat and I tried to force the bile, but it was too late. Chunks of partially digested chicken from last night dinner spewed out of my mouth. My stomach kept on contracting violently and forcing everything up and out. My face was white and dripping in sweat. I sunk to the ground and lean my back against the bathroom cabinets. The pungent stench invaded my nostrils and I heaved one more time even though there was nothing left to go.

Mrs. Uley sighed. "I don't know why you won't tell him."

"Tell him what?" I hissed.

"That you're expecting. He going to be excited and-"

"Who said I was pregnant?" I interrupted her.

Mrs. Uley raised her eyebrows. "Esme it's very obvious. You've been experiencing symptoms of morning sickness for almost four weeks now and you're slowly outgrowing some of your dresses. Your mood swings are a little out of control and honey I'm pretty sure you've been eating all of the biscuits and bread."

"Please don't tell him," I begged.

"And why not?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm waiting for the right moment. He's too stressed with work and the boys. I want him to enjoy this and be happy."

"Esme that's silly!" She interjected. "Carlisle will be more than happy. His heart will explode with joy!"

"Please."

She looked at me and shook her head. "You kids."

Mrs. Uley exited the room and left me alone. I clean myself up and headed downstairs. I help her prepare breakfast and set the table. We ate in silence and she asked Edward to wash the dishes after everyone finish. I watch her walk away and I began to question her whereabouts.

The back door opens and Renee welcome herself in. "Hello! I'm here!"

"Hello, Renee," I said. "So kind of you to just walk in like this is your home."

"It is my home!" She sang.

I tilted my head to the side. "Why are you in a good mood today?"

"Well, why wouldn't I be happy?" Renee set a basket of carrots down on the table.

Alice giggled. "Because usually, you're a pest."

"Hey!" She frowned. "That's not true!"

"Very true." Edward agreed.

"Where's your brother?" She asked.

Edward looked down at his plate of food. "He lock himself in his room again."

"Cheer up Edward," I told him. "Emmett will come around someday."

Renee patted Edward back and took a seat next to Alice.

"You will never guess what I learned." She spoke.

"Oh? And what is that?"

"Kate Denali is engaged!" Renee exclaim.

Alice spits out her tea. "Unfair!"

"Alice sweetie you're not old enough," I said.

She huffed. "Kate only sixteen!"

I narrowed my eyes. "And what her mom allows is their business. I've already told you that you will not receive my blessing until you're twenty."

Renee chuckled at her pout. "Alice boys are useless honey. Esme doing you a favor."

"So who is the lucky lad?" I wondered.

"Garrett Johnson."

I gulped. "Garrett Johnson? Why he's almost twenty-five!"

"The last time I check." Renee snickered. "You were nineteen when you married the old man."

"Nineteen! Not sixteen!"

"What's the difference!"

I shook my head. "I can't believe that Carmen would agree to something like that."

_Sixteen. _That seems so young. I remember how people reacted when they found out that Dr. Carlisle Cullen (the most handsome bachelor in town) proposed to a nineteen-year-old child. My classmates teased me at university and the professors wouldn't even look in my direction. Kate Denali was just a schoolgirl. She still had a few years before she graduated. What would people think of her? How could Carmen put her child through something like this? It took a few years before townfolks accepted Carlisle and I's marriage. And it was still uncomfortable at times.

_No. I will not let my Alice be treated with disrespect. _

"Esme are you alright?" Renee asked.

I looked up from my teacup. "Of course. Why would you ask such a thing?"

"You're skin pale." She commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Thank you for pointing out the obvious."

"Esme I'm being serious."

"She has been throwing up the last few weeks," Alice muttered.

Renee's eyes grew big. "Esme Ann Cullen!"

"It's nothing!" I raised my voice. "I've just been feeling a little ill lately."

"Sick? What the bloody hell do you mean! Esme, you better tell me if something going on because I-"

The front door slam and mad as a maggot, hopping mad, Carlisle walked in and almost ripped the telephone off the wall. He dialed a few numbers and waited for the receiver.

"Honey?" I said. "What's the matter?"

When he turned at last to face me there was no trace of tears, not in his eyes or on his reddening face. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, and cold. At that moment, I knew he was already far away.

He snarled then spoke. "What's the matter? I'll tell you what's the matter! I am going to track Oscar Jones down and give it to him! That little twit!"

I gasped. "Carlisle Cullen! You need to calm down!"

"Calm!" He roared. "I am completely and utterly calm!"

"What has his panties in a twist?" Renee mocked.

"This! This is what has me upset!" He pulled a letter out of his pocket and slam it down on the kitchen table.

I picked up the letter and began to read it out loud.

**_Dear Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, _**

**_This isn't an easy letter to write… _**

**_However, I think we both want the best for Rosalie and so I feel that I have no choice. _**

**_It is my knowledge that my brother has written to you expressing his gratitude for the great care you have shown Rosalie during her stay in England. I agree with him and I am thankful to receive our little girl whose life had been so tenderly… repaired by your family. Eleanor was not a conventional woman and she wasn't made for marriage. I'm dreadfully sad for my brother, but I do not doubt that Eleanor loved Rosalie very much. She just had an odd way of showing it..._**

**_We all love her, you see- Eleanor, Oscar, my husband and myself, and her five (almost six) cousins. _**

**_Now I must inform you that last week Rosalie was found at a bus station heading to the city. She had stolen her cousin Jacob bicycle and ridden it off. She boarded the first bus and somehow the driver had not realized that Rose was traveling alone. She planned to reach the city and get on a boat to head back to England. She had pocket money left over from her father and Dr. Cullen that she saved. Luckily, someone spotted her at the second bus station and called the authorities. Thinking that she was a runaway or a lost child. _**

**_My dear friends, we're not cruel people, my husband and I. We hate to see Rosalie so unhappy. We decided it would not harm for her to send a few letters to you in England while she got used to us. It seems brutal cutting her off from you since it would throw her into such misery as to make it harder for her to settle here. But here we come to the nub of the issue. _**

**_Rosalie now falls to Oscar and me and my husband and our children. Her life is with us now. And I am sure that you understand how much harder it will be for her to come to terms with that if she is reminded of her former life in England. So it is in her best interest that I ask you to consider that letter you wrote to Rosalie as your last. I will keep the letter safe and assure Rosalie of your love. I will explain to her that it is because you love her that you need her to move forward into her new life. _**

**_I believe it is time for all of us, not just Rosalie, to go forward into our lives. _**

**_The war should end soon, it must. I hope that you two stay safe over there and rejoice. You are saints and God will surely bless your lives in many ways. _**

**_Thank you for your time and efforts. _**

**_Sincerely, _**

**_Gloria A. Norman _**

I stared at the letter in my hands and repeated some of its words in my head. _I believe it is time for all of us, not just Rosalie, to go forward into our lives. _What did that mean?

"That's it," Renee said. "You did all that work and now they expect you to just stop. Stop loving her. Writing to her. And being there for her."

I sighed. "I guess so."

Carlisle laughed. "Oscar Jones doesn't know what he's in for! No one will tell me what I can and cannot do!"

"Carlisle calm down sweetheart. It's out of our hands." I told him.

"It certainly is not!"

"And what are going to do to stop this?"

He huffed. "I'm going to New York!"

Alice giggled and clap. "We're traveling!"

"No!" I snapped. "We are not! We don't even have the money!"

Carlisle storm upstairs and then came back with a jar full of coins. He emptied it out on the kitchen table.

"Bloody hell!" Renee remarked.

I groaned. "Carlisle there is no way that's enough."

"It's not. But if I sell the car and-"

"Carlisle!"

"And some of the animals we can earn enough-"

"Carlisle!" I interjected. "We are not going to New York!"

"Come on mom! Don't you miss Rose?" Jasper said.

"Yeah!" Edward chipped in.

"Our lives haven't been the same without her!" Alice added.

I sighed. "We would have to travel across the world to get her back and we don't have the time. It's also not safe with the war going on."

"How about afterward?" Jasper suggested.

Carlisle put the coins back in the jar. "I will offer Oscar Jones whatever he wants. I don't care as long as he gives us Rosalie back."

"We can't!"

"Esme I don't understand." Carlisle frowned. "You've begged me for months to bring her back and now you're against it."

"We won't have the time to travel."

"What do you mean!"

I stood up from my seat, pushing the chair back. "Because I'm pregnant!"

The room went silent. Carlisle jaw dropped and everyone else stared at us. I ran out of the room and moved past him. This was not how I wanted to tell everyone that I was expecting! But I just couldn't help it! He wanted to leave and travel to get Rosalie! That would take us months! I couldn't live on a ship while being pregnant. It would be horrific!

I walked outside in the rain and kept going without paying attention to where I was heading. The rain had fallen steadily without letting up. Outside the summer flowers and leaves droop under the weight of the droplets. We've had so much heat lately that I almost forgot this feeling, the cool freshness in the breeze.

I regretted not grabbing an umbrella. My hair lies inky around my face, hanging in clumps. My dress was soaked and I could feel some of my makeup coming off.

But I didn't care.

_How could she? _Gloria had no right! Oscar permitted Rosalie to write to us. We enjoyed receiving letters from her. We needed to know that she was alright! We had the right to know!

I wanted to go to New York. I wish I could steal Rosalie away from that awful woman. She belongs to our family. She was a Cullen, not a Jones. Gloria had six children herself. She didn't deserve Rosalie nor did Oscar. I fixed that broken little girl and help her with things that Gloria Norman will never be able to understand.

_She needed me. _

"Esme!"

I turned my head and saw Carlisle running after me.

"Leave me alone!" I hissed.

He was out of breath. "Sweetheart I am so sorry! I had no idea."

"You should be!"

Carlisle sighed. "Esme please talk to me."

"And say what?" I turned around. "I loved her too!"

"I know you did and I thought-"

"You thought what!"

"I thought by bringing her back it would make you happy." He admitted.

I stared at him and realized that he had been crying. "Carlisle I'm happy with you."

"I just wanted to give you a child."

"And now you have."

He bowed his head. "I've been foolish."

"No," I told him. "You were just trying to make things right."

He walked forwards and pulled me into his arms. I knew that it wasn't his fault. Carlisle considers Rosalie as a daughter and what Gloria did…. Well it was like ripping a piece of his heart out of his chest. He would never recover from this. We both felt hurt and confused. Why? Why did it happen to us?

"You're really pregnant?" He asked.

I nodded my head. "Yes. I am."

"I'm going to be a daddy?" He whispered.

"Yes."

Carlisle pulled back and grinned. "You're going to be a mummy."

"Yes. We're finally having a baby." I said.

"I love you so much."

He picked me up and twirled me around in circles. I giggled and begged him to slow down or stop. I was still feeling little nausea and I didn't want to risk throwing up on his shirt. He carefully set me back down and pressed his lips against mine.

"I'm still upset about Rosalie. It'll take some time before I recover. But this-" He put his hand against my stomach. "This will be the perfect distraction."

I rest my hand over his. "She will always be our little girl."

Carlisle leaned down and kissed my belly. "Always."


	19. Chapter 19

_Dearest Esme, _

_I am so happy to hear that your expecting! How wonderful that is! I can't wait to be a big sister! I hope it's a girl! _

_Aunt Gloria's baby is due in a few months. Sometimes I put my hand against her tummy and I can feel little kicks! She also getting more fat and her tummy barely fits any of her dresses. Are you getting fat? I can't imagine your tummy big and swollen. You're so small! What if you blow up? _

_I suppose you should know that I tried to run away a few days ago. Now before you lecture me, Esme, please understand where I'm coming from. I had a master plan! I was so close to coming back to England! But some old hag at the bus station ruin it! She ratted me out to the authorities and I was forced to call Aunt Gloria. Uncle Ernest gave me whippings for days! I think my behind is still red. I know it was irresponsible and I could have gotten in serious trouble. However, I just want to be back in England! With you and Carlisle! I miss the hens and Buttercup. And oh the children! I would have loved to see Edward and Emmett one last time. I'm glad that they're back home and that they're safe now. It is a very traumatizing thing. _

_Esme, won't you come get me, please? I've tried to like it here but I can't! It's awful and I want to come home! Please! _

_Sincerely, _

_Rosalie Hale Cullen _

_Dear Esme, _

_Today is my birthday and I'm reminded of my last birthday that I had with you. Mrs. Uley cooked my favorite breakfast (a ton of buttered toast and eggs) and you made me a new dress to wear. Carlisle surprise with me the most beautiful doll and she came with an added tea set. We celebrated that night with cake and food. Renee came over and brought her rabbits. Bella and Alice actually played with me for once. Edward played happy birthday on the piano and Emmett gave me piggyback rides. It was such a happy day! Maybe one of my favorite birthdays I've ever had. _

_Unfortunately, I hated my birthday this year. _

_There was no special breakfast cooked just for me or a new dress laid out on my bed. No one bought me a new doll and we barely ate the food I like. I missed the sounds of the piano playing music and Emmett's loud laughter. Alice and Bella weren't here to do my hair and make me look pretty. And there was also no rabbits. _

_Instead, we sang happy birthday and Aunt Gloria bake a cake. Except it was chocolate and I don't like chocolate. The only present I got was some new shoes and Margaret made me a hair bow. Other than that… it was a boring day and no one really cared about me. _

_Aunt Gloria told me that daddy was coming home soon. He was going to come to get me and then take me to Chicago. I guess he retired from the military. His shoulder never fully recovered and he needed to seek more medical treatment. There was a doctor in Chicago that promised to help him. _

_Please don't send me to Chicago. I don't want to go! I would like to get away from Aunt Gloria's family, but I want to come home to England! This is totally unfair! _

_I hate daddy! And I hate you for making go with him! I should of never listen to you! And now I just had the worst birthday in history! _

_With no love, _

_Rosalie _

_Sweet Esme, _

_I am so sorry for my last letter. I suppose I was being a little foolish. I've forgiven you and I hope that you will write back! _

_Aunt Gloria gave birth to a little girl last night and I am proud to announce that they did not name her Virginia! God, it was such an awful name! Instead, we're calling her Ida Mae Norman. I wanted to name her Mabel, but Jacob said it reminded him of maple syrup! What names have you picked out for your child? Maybe you should consider Mabel for a girl or… I really like Evelyn. I didn't give Aunt Gloria that suggestion because I wanted to save it for you! _

_I started school again and it's been going alright. I'm very smart! The teacher told me that I have a promising future! I could be a doctor! Just like Carlisle! _

_I'm not sure when daddy coming to get me. He was supposed to come a long time ago but we haven't heard much from him. I hope he's forgotten me and that why I can return to England! Don't you agree? _

_Sincerely, _

_Rosalie Hale _

_Dear Esme Cullen, _

_Esme! Why won't you answer me! Do you not love me anymore? I did the math and I guess you should be having your little one any day now. Did you replace me with the baby? I wish you would talk to me! _

_Daddy finally arrived home and he's taking me to Chicago tomorrow. I asked him what took him so long and he admitted that he meant a nice lady friend. And then he told me that this nice lady friend of his was going to be my new mummy… _

_I kicked him in the groin! _

_How could he! Replace my mummy with some stranger! I've never felt so betrayed before! The wedding is in a few days! He's been keeping this secret from me for months! _

_I'm just so confused. Please, Esme, write back to me. I need you. _

_Yours truly, _

_Rosalie Lillian _

_My dearest Esme, _

_You still have not answered me and I'm slowly losing hope. _

_Daddy and Nora married two days ago. We've already packed up and moved to Chicago. I had to transfer schools and I don't like the new school. The schoolmaster is a wicked woman and I have to wear this ugly uniform. The teachers aren't as nice and I don't feel so smart anymore. _

_Nora is a strange woman. She not very motherly and she doesn't pay much attention to me. She sort of ignores the fact that I exist. We rarely talk and I don't know much about her. All I know is that she likes jam on her toast and she hates the rain. She doesn't like to get wet. _

_I've gotten closer to daddy but I'm still mad at him. He just gives me money to keep me quiet. Last week he bought me a horse and I got a new rabbit. Her name is Snowball and she not as pretty as Buttercup. She also bites and I don't like that very much. _

_I've begged you for months to bring me home but now I'm giving up hope. You won't even respond to me so I'm forced to believe that you don't love me anymore. Aunt Gloria told me that it's for the better. I don't see how though. My favorites memories were with you and Carlisle. I will never forget the fun times we shared together. _

_If this is goodbye…. Well, I don't really want to think about it like that. Please just know that I will always love you and I hope someday you will want me back in your life. _

_Until then… _

_Thank you for the care you've given me during the most difficult times in my life. You took my mother's place and showed me what true love is. I will never forget that and I will never forget you. _

_You told me once that you would love me forever and although I'm not sure if that's true anymore… I know for a fact that I will love you forever and ever. That will never change. _

_I hope we meet again. _

_Sincerely, _

_Rosalie L. Hale _

_Dear Mrs. Cullen, _

_Okay! It's not funny anymore! Please write back to me! I'm desperate! _

_Sincerely, _

_A very dramatic Rosalie _


	20. Chapter 20

My mother was one of a kind and I don't mean that in a good way. Being a single mother would make you think that she put her children first but for my mum, it was the complete opposite. She was so wrapped up in herself that she forgot that I exist. I always had to be her judge on what she wears and how she looks. It was definitely embarrassing walking around town with a mother who flaunted her stuff.

She never settled down until George was born. When my dad skipped out of our lives, my mom spent every waking hour earning enough money to pay the mortgage and buy groceries. She had given up her looks for an apron. I remember it was patterned with all things British from teapots to the palace guards. Sometimes I can still see her in that apron, arms wide, and a hug just a few steps away.

She never hugged me though. Not often.

She loved George more than she loved me. Why? I'm not sure. I guess he was the youngest child and rather charming too. He had dark and lustrous hair that reminded me of fine hardwood. But that comparison isn't entirely fair, I suppose. He hated his brown hair. It was boring to him. He thought it look like the color of dull mud. However, he was a sweet child ever since the day he was born. We could see the mighty goodness within him that branched out into all that he did. He was nature's child and mother's greatest honor to raise.

I can recall a lovely spring day back when we were just little kids. George sat on the barstool, head slumped onto his hands as he watched mother season the fish (that Philip caught). By the time she was done, each fish had a belly full of onions and herbs. My stomach had growled noisily and I had to swallow back a pool of saliva. We hadn't eaten in days and it was a miracle that Philip was able to catch something.

"What should we have for dessert?" Mother asked.

I frowned. "I thought we didn't have the money for dessert."

"Pie!" George exclaim.

Mother smiled at him and ruffled his hair. "Whatever you want my love."

"I don't really like pie," I said. "Can we have something else? Maybe a cake? Or sweet bread?"

Mother banged her wooden spoon on the counter. "That's enough! I am tired of hearing you complain! You selfish little brat! We will have pie and that's final! Do you understand?"

I nodded my head and swallowed. "Yes, ma'am."

She died three months afterward.

Death came to her with the slow rattling gasps. Her breathing stop for some time only to reemerge like a drowning victim coming up for one last breath. A few moments later, she had passed on, her earthly tether separated and her soul bound for the Lord.

I wish I had felt some type of remorse for her death. But I hadn't felt anything. Her life had little impact. She was just a person. A person I knew and loved and then she died. That was it.

I hope my children don't feel the same about me.

I am currently eight months pregnant and I feel like a bloated cow. I had to waddle to the shower this morning and that took so much out of me. I almost felt breathless.

The water dripped past my shoulders, through my flaxen hair, and continuing over my large stomach. It expanded out to prove that another being resided within me. Two heartbeats within one body. My back ached as my entire weight relied upon it. I glance down at the stretched skin with red vein-like tendrils seeping across the sides and reminding me of an eyeball. Soft white skin, red lines are drawn along it.

I dragged myself out of the shower and called out for Carlisle to help me. I couldn't get dried by myself.

He walked in with a towel. "You look so beautiful."

"I look like a whale."

He started to dry the water off my body. "A beautiful whale. Honestly, I can't believe how big you've gotten Es."

"I might explode if this goes on any longer," I said.

Carlisle chuckled. "Don't worry my love. It'll be over with soon."

I've always had my weight under control my whole life until pregnancy, then I've lost it big time. I craved food almost every minute of the day and of course, I didn't want anything healthy. I wouldn't normally eat after dinner, but now I found myself searching through the cupboards by 10:20 pm and snacking before bed. Renee had told me not to worry, breastfeeding would take care of the pounds. But I couldn't stand it any longer! I wanted this baby out of me and into my arms! I wanted to press a button and fast forward to the birth!

Carlisle leaned down and kissed my tummy. "Hello, little one. It's your daddy speaking. Mummy and I can't wait to meet you."

"You can come anytime. Hopefully soon." I added.

Carlisle rolled his eyes. "Take your time sweet baby. We want you to be big and healthy!"

"Oooh!" I felt the baby kick. "I think you've woken it up!"

"My apologies." He teased. "It loves the sound of my voice."

"It loves his or her daddy."

Carlisle stood up and kissed my lips. "And I love it so much."

He was perfect. Carlisle had adapted to parenthood well. He was some type of natural and children just loved him. Me, on the other hand, had been more anxious. The first child I've ever had resulted in a miscarriage and I didn't feel positive that this baby would come out healthy. I feared that any moment this precious gift would be taken from me. Carlisle ensured me that everything was going to be okay and our baby would be just fine, but I don't think I can believe it until it's here in my arms and I can see for myself that we created perfection.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"I still feel ill and my body aches."

Carlisle nodded his head. "That's perfectly normal, love."

"I know." I sighed. "I just wish it would go away."

He helped me down the stairs and I took a seat at the breakfast table. Mrs. Uley prepared breakfast while Carlisle helps her set the table. I looked around and noticed that the children were actually up and wake. They've gotten a little lazy since I haven't been able to boss them around. I'm sure they were enjoying it.

Alice smiled and put her hands on my tummy. "How do you do?"

"Alice it can't hear you!" Emmett remarked.

Edward threw something at him. "You don't know that. I've heard that babies can hear things from the womb."

"And where did you hear that from?" I wondered.

"Aro! His father is a scientist!"

Jasper huffed. "Edward you can't believe everything that people say. The Volturi's are an odd family."

Alice giggled. "I one time watched Marcus Volturi lick a tree branch outside of school."

"Exactly." Jasper claim.

"Children," I said. "Stay out of other people's business. It's impolite."

Alice smirked. "So why did you ask Renne about Kate Denali?"

"None of your business!"

"I heard that she pregnant and that's why she getting married!" Emmett spoke.

I rubbed my forehead. "I don't know why I even try."

"Breakfast!" Mrs. Uley announced.

"Thank heavens," Edward muttered.

We ate our breakfast and shared stories around the table. Things have changed lately. Edward and Emmett were recovering well from the tragic loss of their parents. Edward has started to play music again and Emmett just snapped out of it one day. He came home from school and apologize for his actions. Carlisle made sure to spend more time with him. He takes him fishing and hunting every other weekend. Emmett had enjoyed doing the stuff that he once did with Edward Sr.

Alice and Jasper were falling madly in love. Alice admitted to me that she had feelings for Jasper, but she wasn't sure if he felt the same way. We talked a lot about relationships and what it meant to be physical with someone else. I made Alice promise me that she would save herself for marriage. She agreed and told me that she had no desire to have sex any time soon. She liked Jasper for who he is. Not his body or what his body could do. Plus they were so young that they wouldn't even know what to do.

I tried not to think about it too much…

Renee and Charlie's marriage was blossoming and I don't think I've seen Renee so happy. They're currently trying to give Bella a sibling and I'm hoping we'll have a baby announcement coming soon. Edward has also been quite smitten over Bella Swan. He made her the sweetest lullaby and he plays it often when she comes over. Edward hasn't said anything to me about it but… it's obvious that he has the biggest crush on the girl. Renee already warned me that she'll cut off his balls if he hurts her daughter. I told her that she had nothing to worry about.

Life was good, despite some of the negative aspects.

The war has finally ended and life was slowly returning back to normal. We bought a bigger house for all our children and it came with an added barn that was quite lovely. Buttercup enjoyed his new space and the hens finally had space to roam. We also bought some horses, sheep, and goats. It was a lot. But we were happy.

Well… as happy as we could be.

It took months before I stop receiving letters from Rosalie. It was difficult, but I decided to respect Gloria's wishes and I never responded to any of her letters. Carlisle tried reaching out to Oscar and he begged him to let Rose back in our lives. However, we never heard anything back and it was like Oscar Jones forgotten that he promise to repay us someday. We didn't want money. We just wanted to be able to watch Rosalie grow.

I was upset for the longest time. I wanted to travel to New York and choke Gloria Norman. How could she not give my baby a birthday party? What type of woman was she? And then when I learned that Oscar remarried… well, I was stunned! He had moved on so quickly! Nora didn't sound like the best mother figure either. She sounded very cold and I couldn't see Rosalie being nice to her.

Monkeys. They were all just a bunch of monkeys trying to raise a child. It was ridiculous!

But she wasn't ours anymore and there was nothing we could do about it. I just hope she would forgive us one day for not being there. It wasn't our choice.

After breakfast, Renee came over to go through some baby clothes. I had bought a few items over the last couple of weeks, but I still wasn't sure what I needed and what I didn't. I was just so lost!

"Esme why do you have so many overalls! You don't even know whether if it's a boy!" Renee exclaim.

I folded some nightgowns. "It's a boy. I can feel it."

"What if it's a girl?" She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Then I guess she can wear overalls too. It might be cute."

"She a mess!" Mrs. Uley spat.

"I've never done this before!" I said. "I don't know what I'm doing!"

Renee patted my arm. "Calm down because I don't feel like dealing with your hormones today."

"Renee!" I shriek.

Mrs. Uley laughed. "Please tell me you've picked up some diapers."

"Lots! Thank you very much!" I cried.

We spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through baby clothes and cleaning the nursery. Carlisle had already built the crib and he bought me a wooden rocking chair as well. Everything was slowly coming together. It was strange that we were having a baby. It just didn't feel real.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. "We'll have a newborn sleeping in that crib soon."

I sighed. "I know. I can't believe the end is near."

"It's only the beginning," Carlisle spoke.

"Are you ready?"

"Are you ready?" He chuckled.

"No," I replied.

"I don't think anyone is truly ready." Carlisle rubbed my stomach. "That's alright though. We'll learn together and eventually, it'll feel like second nature."

"I hope so."

"I know so."

I turned around in his arms. "You think you're so funny."

"Correction, my love." He grinned. "I am funny."

I rolled my eyes. "I love you."

"And I love you."

That night I could barely sleep. I had felt a burning pain in my lower abdomen that shot through all my back. I twisted and turn in the bedsheets until the sun finally rose and I dragged myself out of bed. I made my way into the bathroom and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I had been carrying a little bit lower than before. My tummy was big and round. I felt the baby move inside me while another shot of pain struck.

I groaned. "Oh, sweet baby. Please calm down."

And just then I felt it. A gush of water coming down from my legs and hitting the floor. I stood their shock for a few minutes until I look at the puddle of water that I was standing in. _Impossible! I'm not due for another few weeks! _

"Darling?" I heard Carlisle's voice.

"Honey come in here!" I shouted. "It's time!"

He rushed into the bathroom. "What happen-"

Carlisle stopped at the doorway and stared at the puddle of water. He was speechless!

"I think I'm in labor," I spoke.

"I believe so."

Hours later and the pain was never-ending. With each contraction came a pain that dominated my entire being. In these moments, for those seconds that stretched into infinity, there was nothing else. When the pain passed it was only for a minute or so and I breathed with closed eyes, unwilling to reengage with life outside of my own body. The room might as well have been empty because when anyone talks, touch or gain my attention, I found it all so hard. To reply, I had to find myself from the deepest recess of my mind and drag myself forward, to use my voice, or open my eyes.

It was hell.

"C-Carlisle." I whimpered. "If I-I don't make it-"

"Nonsense!" He said. "You will be perfectly fine. Sweetheart, you're doing so good!"

"I-It hurts!" I cried.

Carlisle kissed the top of my head. "You're almost there baby. You got this!"

Mrs. Uley checked me one more time. "Carlisle she ready."

"Ready?" My body started shaking.

Carlisle nodded his head. "Honey I need you to relax. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise my love. I love you so much Es."

He held my hand while Mrs. Uley instructed me to push. With a guttural grunt, I did so until she told me to stop. The pain was more intense than anything I ever imagined. Nothing could be more brutal, not whips or chains.

"That's right!" Carlisle held my hand tighter. "Good girl! You're doing great baby!"

I pushed again and then I felt the baby starting to crown, the hot stretching of flesh and I held my breath. Carlisle and Mrs. Uley switched places and I watched as the baby, without any further effort, slid into the hands of my husband. There was elation, a girl at last, and in seconds she was here, nascent eyes opening, mouth rooting for milk.

"We have a daughter!" Carlisle held her up so I could see.

I stifle a sob. "Hi, baby."

The newborn cries fill the room and Carlisle bursts into tears of relief and joy. Through my exhaustion, I smile and I let my eyes leave his face to the baby that was being placed on my bare skin. At that moment, I began to cry the sweetest tears and all the pain before melted away. She's only minutes old but the tiny girl begins to root, mouth wide, her instincts strong. I pulled my blouse down and started to nurse. I watched as the hungry newborn eagerly sucked.

"She perfect!" Mrs. Uley exclaim.

Carlisle sat right next to me and stroke the newborn head. "She beautiful just like her mummy."

"I can't believe she here!" I rubbed her tiny hand.

"You did it, baby! You did such a good job. I'm so proud of you!" Carlisle told me.

I smiled at him and kissed his lips. "We did it."

I nursed for a few more minutes until the baby was satisfied. Mrs. Uley helps Carlisle clean her up and dress her before returning the newborn to her mother. I couldn't help but just stare at her. She was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen! She had Carlisle's nose and lips. She shared the same color of my hair and I hope her eyes will stay blue. She just looks like a little angel!

"She ours." I choked.

Carlisle smiled. "We made that."

"Would you like the other children to come in now?" Mrs. Uley asked. "I don't think they can contain their excitement any longer."

Carlisle laughed. "Yes. Please let them in."

She opens the door and all four children rushed in. They crowded around the bed and I laid the baby down in front of me.

"She adorable!" Alice squealed.

Emmett tilted his head. "I thought she would be less fat."

"Emmett!" Edward hissed. "That's rude!"

Jasper touched the baby legs. "Does she have a name?"

Carlisle looked at me and I nodded my head. We had several names, but I think we've narrowed it down to just one. It felt right, especially at the moment. And I do not doubt that this baby will be as beautiful as her name.

"Do you want to tell them?" He said.

I grinned and turned to the children. "Her name is Evelyn Rose Cullen."

Mrs. Uley's eyes filled with tears. "Such a lovely name."

Evelyn Rose Cullen. Our sweet baby girl. I would never let this precious bundle go, no matter what came I would protect her. Even to the point of death. She was mine. All mine. And I had a feeling that we would finally live our happily ever after.

I leaned down and kissed the newborn on the forehead. "Welcome to the world little one."


	21. Chapter 21

**Rosalie POV **

**Years later… **

"You have a new comment on your blog," Vera says. "Somebody called… Scarlett Kennedy. Who's seventy-five years old.

I frowned. _Scarlett Kennedy? _A few years ago, I had an intern called Kennedy, a lovely woman with rings and studs in her eyebrows and tongue. She had to take them all out before I allowed her to start work. The fashion industry was a very respectful place. I couldn't let some young girl walk in looking like a felon. But it can't be that Kennedy, she had been only twenty-one years old.

"Give it here."

Vera passes me the laptop and I take a look. I don't normally do work while eating breakfast in my bathrobe. Vera and I loved bathrobes. We were the typical middle-aged woman who enjoyed coziness and massages. We could afford it, so why not?

I began my fashion blog not too long ago. It was easier to reach out to people and display my new collections. The business was growing and we were doing better than ever. Woman really enjoyed the new blog and usually, I receive comments from stay at home wives or young adults. The comments were often hilarious.

Not this one though.

_Good morning Miss. Hale! _

_I'm just wondering if you're the Rosalie Hale who knew Esme Cullen during the war in England. I'm a...friend of hers. You might like to know that she just turned seventy-five last week. Still going strong! Also, I really enjoyed your last collection! I'm wondering what inspired you? _

_Hope to hear from you soon! _

_Scarlett Kennedy _

"Who is it?" Vera poured another cup of coffee.

I shut the web page. "No one. Why do you ask?"

"Your eyes grew big while you were reading."

I force myself to laugh. "It's not Kennedy who's seventy-five. It's someone else I knew. Someone I thought was dead, but she's not."

I was wrong to say that I thought she was dead. I don't think of her as dead. Although I haven't pictured her alive, either. I've barely thought about her over the last few years. She was just a memory.

Vera smiled. "I'm happy to hear that. Who-"

"I better get ready for work!" I stood up from my seat. "Don't want to be late! We have a big day today!"

I've been living in Chicago for the last thirty-something years. At one point, the smells of the city used to be alien to me and it's chaotic fragrance set me on edge. There was no tinge of earthy loam and no spring growth or heady warning when rain was due. The fumes from belching vehicles underpinned everything, punching right out of it would be the spicy offerings of the street vendors. But now these are the smells of home. The city loves me in ways that no person ever has. It listens to my fierce footsteps, the clicking of my polished heels against its pavements on early Monday mornings. It watches me smile ear to ear when I see the window on its skyscrapers reflects the orange glow of the afternoon sun. It empathizes with my frustrated groans when I can't flag down a taxi to take me home. It celebrates with me when I'm on top of the world and cries when life gets hard. The city sees and feels every moment of every day of my life. It understands.

I showered and dressed before driving to my studio. I was designing a new collection of dresses that needed to be done by Friday. I had a very important fashion show coming up in Paris that could either make or break my career. I was thirty-one and a widow when I started this company- just an English woman who's short and worse… European. People waited for me to fail, but I refused to do so.

"Can you please not worry," I told daddy. "There's still a chance that I might pull through."

Daddy sighed. "Honey, I will always be proud of you. It's just that-"

"No," I said. "My upbringing had nothing to do with this. I have to be more than the wretched little girl that my father sent overseas. I hope you will understand that."

"I do."

It wasn't ideal for a woman my age to just now start her career. I meant my husband when I was only nineteen years old. Daddy forgot his lunch one day so Nora had me dress up to deliver it to him at his job (in hopes that the son of the bank's owner would take notice). And it worked. Royce King II sent roses to my house the next day and commented that my eyes were like violets. Our relationship was solely based on physical attraction, as Royce was often too busy at the bank. I didn't want to marry him, but he was wealthy and daddy lost all his money after the war ended. He had been lucky that Royce's father offered him a job and in return… my father promised his daughter. Daddy and Nora pushed me into the engagement and made sure we were married a week later so I couldn't change my mind. They were pleased when they inherited some of Royce's fortune. And I was miserable…

Royce was a handsome young man. Very charming too. We had a mutual relationship. He was never overly affectionate with me and I think he just liked to use me as some sort of prize. He would show me off to his other friends and I felt uncomfortable when the other men stared at me with hungry eyes. One man tried to touch me and I swatted him away with my handbag. I remember the bruises on my arms that Royce left after that night. He spat at me and warned me to never embarrass him again in front of his friends.

Daddy and Nora didn't care to hear my cries. I tried reaching out to Aunt Gloria but she told me to stop being a brat and have a baby instead.

_"A child will change everything. Have his children and he will learn to respect you." _

So I took her advice...

A few years after our marriage, we had five children; Royce III, David, Calvin, Michael, and Lily. I thought that once I had Lily I would feel better because she was my first girl and I had always wanted a daughter. But I began to feel worse. I tried explaining my feelings to Aunt Gloria. She didn't want to hear it though. So I went on with my life and tried to forget about my unhappiness. I suppose I had no reason to complain. We were rich and money was no object.

Maybe I was being a brat…

Thankfully, the Lord had something else planned for me. Royce became terribly sick one day and he only lived for five days before he passed away. I mourn the loss of my husband and then afterward I decided to build my career. I had meant Nora in high school and she was my best friend. She went to university to be a fashion designer and she was just starting her line when I suggested that we should work together as business partners. Now we run one of the biggest clothing companies in Chicago. She moved in with me after her husband passed and her son went off to college. We had a lovely time together and I was thankful that I've was given a second chance at life.

I arrived at the studio and turned to my blog. Scarlett Kennedy's comment was still there. I began to type rapidly.

_Miss. Kennedy, _

_Thank you for your remark. This collection means something very special to me. It was inspired by my daughter, Lillian King. Lily adores pastels and short dresses with buttons. I'm thankful that she hates neon colors and social trends as much as I do. Lily at university right now studying to be a fashion designer with a minor in business. I hope to hire her someday and work together as mother and daughter. Thank you for showing interest in this collection. _

_Have a lovely day, _

_Rosalie Hale _

I sat there and stared at the message. It taunted me. But my employees started to arrive and I deiced to move out of my chair. I paused for a second and darted back to the computer screen. I pressed send and then left.

That night I dream about England. I imagine the walls of the house and some windows, black paint blistering on the frames. I passed the windows and noticed that the house seem empty. Rather unusual... I tried the kitchen and found someone standing in front of the stove. Her hair was brown with caramel locks. She jerks her head towards me and…

I wake up, my heart pounding out of my chest. It's not even dawn yet.

I remember when Aunt Gloria came and sat on my bed. She explained to me why Esme would never visit and why she wouldn't be writing anymore. She said that Esme loved me. But I didn't understand that, so Aunt Gloria hushed me with bread and milk. I stop asking questions.

Aunt Gloria had said, "It's nice to have a girl the same as me."

I figured that Esme had forgotten about me. She was expecting her first child so I'm sure she was busy with other things. She didn't have time to write anymore. I just wish that I moved on as quickly as she did…

The light reaches into the room and I gave up on sleep. I got up from the bed and walked over to my computer screen. I checked the blog and no replies. But then I discovered that Scarlett Kennedy emailed me instead.

_Dear Miss. Hale, _

_Wow! That's truly beautiful! Lily is one lucky girl to have a mother such as yourself! The collection is absolutely stunning! Would it be possible to purchase that new blouse? The blue colored on with the pockets. I'd love to tell Esme about you. But only if you're comfortable with it. _

Who the hell is this woman? This Scarlett Kennedy? Why does she want to tell Esme about me? What would she even say?

My fingers hovered over the keys.

_Scarlett, who exactly are you?" _

I paused and closed my eyes until I heard a ding. The sun is beginning to glow against the bottom of the shutters. I sit up in my chair and looked at the email.

_Miss. Hale, _

_I apologize! I've been rather rude. I am Esme's youngest daughter, Scarlett Paige Cullen. I married a few short years ago which is why my maiden name has been replaced with Kennedy. I just wondered if you are the Rosalie my mother shared stories about. _

I took a deep breath.

_Does Esme know you've contacted me? _

_No, I'm afraid she doesn't. I didn't want to upset her. _

I stared at the wall and then I heard another ding.

_Rosalie, _

_I am terribly sorry. I'm an idiot for upsetting you. I've known about you for a long time and lately my mother been talking about you again. I know she would never ask you to come because of what happened…_

_She says you began a new life when you were a child and that she would only hurt you more by trying to bring you back. But I can tell by her eyes that she loves you very much and she has never forgotten the little girl she saved all those years ago. You are her greatest treasure. _

_I better blog off. The baby crying! I am truly sorry though. Please take care! _

_Sincerely, _

_Scarlett_

_PS. I really do love your collection! _

I heard a knock coming from my door. "Rosalie we need to leave! We have ten minutes before we miss our meeting with Vogue!"

I sighed. "I'll be right there."

I dropped Vera off at the head building before going to the studio. Every minute I thought about Scarlett's message and I tried to hold my feelings inside. Seeing Esme's name, knowing that she talked about me… I can't commute that. I shake my head, but the words still appeared in my mind.

_You are her greatest treasure… _

I hardly worked for an hour before I pricked myself with a needle. "Bloody hell!"

I can't take this any longer! I log into my commuter and responded to the email.

_Scarlett, please don't log off. _

That evening I stayed behind and worked on another piece for the collection. Lily loved floral dresses and I wanted to create at least one floral dress for my girl. I was struggling to find the right shade of colors and texture for the flowers. I didn't want the flowers to look cheap or tacky. I was running through the coloring book when the studio phone rang.

"Rosalie?" A young voice spoke. "It's Scarlett."

It felt impossible to speak. Somehow she sense that.

"I'm so sorry. This is probably too much!" She said.

"Scarlett, are you in England?" I asked.

"Yes."

I sighed and leaned against the wall.

"Take your time," Scarlett told me. "I have thirty minutes before the baby wakes."


	22. Chapter 22

**Scarlett POV **

"How could you be so careless!" Evelyn hissed.

"Carless?" I balanced the baby on my other hip. "I was doing what's best for mama!"

"Mama doesn't need this type of stress!" She spat.

Robert turned his newspaper. "I don't know Ev. Maybe it would be good for mum."

"See!" I explain.

Evelyn rolled her eyes. "And explain to me how?"

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders. "She could use some cheering up. She hasn't been the same since…"

"Stop," Evelyn said. "I don't want to hear it."

"I'm just saying that mum been sad lately."

Katie began to cry and I tried to bounce her. "Sssh little one."

Evelyn sighed and took her niece. "I wish you would stop teething."

"She can't help it."

Evelyn hummed a little song that calmed Katie down.

"It's too late," I told her. "She suppose to fly out tomorrow."

Evelyn shook her head. "I wish you would listen to me."

"Mum going to like this! I promise!"

"Let's hope so…"

**Rosalie POV **

The hotel was no "chocolate on the pillowcases". The receptionist smelled of stale perfume and the tables had ashtrays instead of flowers. It was dingy and dark. It also had been cheap. I guess you can't expect much out of this small town in England. My options were limited.

Scarlett and I had several conversations by now. They seem to get longer now. I also learned a bit about Scarlett as well. She was young with two children. She birth a son named Tommy and a little girl who she called Katie. She just finish university and she has a degree in nursing. Unfortunately, she wasn't planning on working until Katie was old enough to take care of herself. Scarlett said by then she figures she would have at least one or two more children. She pretty much wasted her education.

She added that she has an older sister and brother. Evelyn was Carlisle and Esme's firstborn child. She was a very successful businesswoman and she had three children (Olivia, Colton, and Christopher). I was interested to hear what type of business she was in. Robert had followed in his father's footstep and he went into the medical field. He was awarded as one of the best surgeons in town. He had a lovely wife and five children which I believe Scarlett said their names were Connor, Stella, Sarah, Caleb, and Zoe. His wife is expecting another baby and they're hoping for a boy this time.

I felt a little unsure. Vera handed me a plane ticket and pushed me out the door once I explained the situation. She encouraged me to see Esme and maybe find the piece that I was missing all these years. But I still wasn't quite sure whether if Esme would be happy to see me. And Carlisle. Scarlett didn't say much about her father and that raised some questions. Did he not want me to come? Had he been against it? I remember him telling me once that he kept a jar in his office full of money that he plan on using to see me. Did he still have that jar? Or did he forget about it long ago?

I just didn't know.

Later that evening Scarlett rings. "I'm driving downtown tomorrow. I'll be there by midday hopefully. Would you like to meet me at the churchyard?"

"That sounds like a wonderful plan," I replied.

Scarlett chuckles. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The next day I took a cab downtown and I stood outside the church waiting. I'm a little early and I can't seem to find Scarlett anywhere. I hate to go in without her but it looks like it might rain. I stared at the church while I tried to decide what to do.

We came here the day before I left. I remember it so vividly. Alice and I pestering Esme on where to sit. It was so warm and I thought Esme was coming to New York with me. I wasn't sure what she would do there. Where she would live or if she would leave Carlisle for another man. Maybe we could have lived together and Carlisle might have come as well. Oh, the children though? My "siblings". What would we do with them? But I didn't really have time to think things through because church ended. And then afterward they told me that Esme wasn't coming.

"Rosalie!" Someone shouted.

I turned around and spotted a short woman running towards me.

"Oh, Rose." She was breathless. "I'm so sorry! Katie would refuse to go down for a nap today!"

I laughed. "It's alright. I have five children myself so I understand."

We hold our arms out to each other and embrace. She was shorter than me and she shared the same caramel locks as Esme. Her eyes were hazel and she had freckles all over her cheeks.

"Thank you," I told her. "For everything you've done and are doing. I know she…"

Scarlett released me. "Don't worry about that right now."

I nodded my head and handed her a package. "The blouse you wanted."

"That is so kind!" She shrieks and takes the package. "I'm so honored!"

"Yes. It is a unique blouse." I said. "I didn't even mean to design it with buttons. It just sorts of happen."

"Like families." Scarlett smiled.

"I suppose so."

She offered her arm and I took it as we walked through the churchyard gates. The cemetery is cool and there is dew on the grass. The other mourners are a little way off as we rounded the corner. I always liked being in the cemetery, it's peaceful. The dead laid to rest, gravestones in the promise of not being forgotten, but sometimes those promises are broken. As a child, I like visiting the old crooked, crumbling gravestones that people haven't visited or take care of in a long time. I use to leave a single flower (that I took from Esme garden) upon each headstone.

Scarlett kneeled by a grave and placed some flowers down. "Mum asked me to leave her mother some daisies. They were her favorite."

I gasped. "This is Esme's mother? I had no idea."

"Yes," Scarlett says. "She passed away when mother was a young child. They weren't close but she tries to pay her respects."

"My God."

"Awful. Isn't it?"

Esme never mentioned her mother, not once. It never crossed my mind that Esme even had a mother. She just never talked about her.

My eyes wander to the other graves. "She died so young."

Scarlett nodded her head. "She had breast cancer. Mother doesn't like talking about it too much."

"And her father?"

"Up and left after Uncle George was born."

I shook my head. "Terrible."

We walked on and I started to notice other graves. I had gone to school with Tanya Denali. It seems like a shame that she passed away at the age of thirty-five. That was so young. And oh! Mr. Denali! The man who almost ran me over with his tracker! He's gone too! And Mrs. Uley died just a few years ago! I'll never hear her scream my name again or swat at my arm! My eyes just couldn't believe it! I realized that a lot of people were gone. Neighbors. Friends. And even Buttercup! Esme had put him in the graveyard! How foolish!

I followed Scarlett down toward the bottom of the graveyard. I turned away from the path and spotted a headstone in the distance. I went to it and felt my heart drop.

_Charlie Swan. _

Scarlett sighed. "Pneumonia."

"He was forty-five," I whispered.

"Renee was absolutely heartbroken."

"Is she-"

"Oh, she alive." Scarlett giggled. "Alive and feisty as ever."

"She hasn't changed then."

I remember following Charlie around the farm. We sneak away when Esme wasn't looking and he put me on a horse. He taught me how to ride my first horse. We laughed and mess around until Esme found us. She usually wasn't pleased, but she never stop Charlie either. She would simply tell us that we were silly and one day the horse was going to throw us off.

I will miss him.

Suddenly I'm young again and my heart is bursting. I remember crossing the sea that kept Esme away from me and tore us apart. I had so many different questions. Just why? Why didn't she write back?

"Would you like to go back to the house?" Scarlett asked. "Evelyn making lunch. That's where you'll see Esme. It's all been arranged beforehand."

I swallowed back a sob. "Yes."

We began to walk up the long road from the graveyard and I noticed another grave that marked a name I couldn't forget.

_Carlisle Cullen _

I tried to stop Scarlett. Carlisle! Had he passed on? I must know! But Scarlett kept walking and eventually, we were in town again.

"Alice!" She called out.

The pixie woman appeared from the car. "Right here Scar!"

"Alice!" I breathed.

She smiled and waved. "Hello, Rosie. Miss me?"

I ran until I was in her arms. "Miss you! I can't believe you're still here!"

"Where else would I be?" She snickered. "Come. Someone waiting for you."

I hop into the truck and Alice drove us to the house. On the way, she caught me with the latest news. After I left, Carlisle and Esme adopted her, Jasper, Edward, and Emmett. They fed and took care of eight children in their house! I just couldn't believe it! But Alice laughed and said she had the best childhood anyone could ever ask for. She had her own jewelry and handbag company that Evelyn help her finance and run. I was excited to tell her about my collection and we agreed that maybe we could combine both businesses. It would expand us even further in our careers!

She also informed me that she married Jasper right after her twentieth birthday. They had two girls name Hazel and Gracie. Both girls were very bright and studying to be a pharmacist. Gracie was even a professional ballerina and she had traveled all other Russia performing various shows! Jasper owned the farm and taught history classes at the local university. They seem very happy.

Besides that, she told me about the others as well. Edward went to school and became a very successful lawyer. He also plays the piano at some shows in London. Edward married Bella who runs a bakery with Esme. They have three children name Renesmee, Carly, and Jackson. Renesmee is a plastic surgeon, Carly is a pediatrician, and Jackson followed his father and became a lawyer. I guess the medical gene runs deep in the family…

"And what about Emmett?" I wondered.

Alice chuckled. "Oh, Emmett. He teaches."

I raised a brow. "Really?"

"Yup!" She said. "He coaches the sports teams and helps trouble youth. He also helps Esme around the farm and sometimes he makes deliveries for the bakery."

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that."

"He's excited to see you."

"I can't imagine what his wife looks like," I spoke.

Alice shook her head. "He's never been married. I guess he hasn't found the right one yet."

"What a shame."

We arrived at the house and I opened the door but stop.

"Alice what happen to Carl-"

"Come on!" Scarlett said. "She not getting any younger."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Be nice to mother."

The house was welcoming from the open door to the wide hallway. Upon the walls were photographs of children and grandchildren, so obviously loved. The floor was old fashioned with a blend of deeply homely browns and the walls were the greens of summer gardens meeting a bold white baseboard. The banister was a tirl of a branch, tamed by the carpenter's hand, its grain flowing like water in waves of comforting woodland hues.

It was stunning.

"You grew up here?" I gaped.

Alice nodded. "All of us did."

We walked into the living room and Renee appears.

"Hello, Miss. Scarlett. How do you do Alice? And oh! Here's young Rose!" She exclaims. "Hello, Rosalie."

She's smaller than me and her dark brown hair turned white at the roots. She was dressed in Christmas pajamas and she had a yellow scarf wrapped around her neck and bunny slippers on her feet. I just stared at her with my mouth wide open.

She looked at me and wagged her finger. "Look at you, all flabbergasted! Yes, I'm still here! You can't kill me off that easily!"

I held my breath. "Of course not."

She opens her arms and we embrace. Her head came up to my chin, bringing a sweet smell of lavender and then she takes my free hand in hers.

"You're looking well dear." She laughs.

"You as well."

"I've heard that you have your own clothing line! How wonderful!"

I grinned. "You always had to know everything. You never minded your own business."

"Never." Renee winked.

"She here!" I heard someone say.

I turned around and saw Jasper and Edward at the doorway. It surprises me to see them as men now! Not the young boys who use to tease me! I hugged them as well.

"Not so bad Rosie," Jasper smirked.

Edward snickered. "She grew a little."

"You boys!" Renee swatted their arms. "Be nice to our guest."

Edward rolled his eyes. "She not a guest. She family."

"Where's Bella?" I asked.

"Right behind ya!"

I moved and hugged her. "I just can't believe you're all here!"

"We can't believe you're here," Jasper said.

Edward smirked. "Took you long enough."

"Is that who I think it is?" Someone said.

I heard a creak coming from the staircase and I looked up to see him walking down the stairs. He was an old man now. His blonde hair was replaced with a fringe of grey-white hair around his balding, mottled scalp. He had a wizened face and a back slightly hunched. With each movement, there was a creak of his old bones. He had the look of one who knows that at his age life has stopped giving and only takes away.

But that didn't matter. He was still alive!

"Hello, Rosie Posie." Carlisle beam.

I felt myself trembled. "Daddy!"

This was the man who tuck me in at night and read me bedtime stories. He let me steal his fancy colors in his office so I could draw him an endless amount of pictures. I spent summers on a quilt with him, staring at the clouds that passed by. He bought me my first rabbit and taught me how to groom him. We had such a short amount of time together. But I've always considered this man to be my father.

All these years have passed and he still called me by the nickname he had given to me.

_Rosie Posie. I'm still his Rosie. _

Scarlett helped him down the stairs. "Now daddy be careful. You really shouldn't be standing for long."

Carlisle waved his hand. "I'm almost ninety-something years old. If I can survive two wars then I think I can walk down some stairs."

"Mhmm and that's why you fell the last time." Evelyn walked into the room. She looked so much like Esme.

Carlisle wrapped his arms around me. "I've waited a very long time to see you."

"Me too," I mumbled.

He pulled back and smiled. "You're so beautiful!"

"That's what he tells all the ladies!" Renee spat.

Carlisle huffed. "She just jealous. It's been a long time since a man-"

"Daddy!" Evelyn groaned.

Carlisle gave her a wicked smile. "What?"

"Dad I think Rosalie has other business she needs to take care of," Edward said.

"You can steal her later." Bella teased.

Carlisle nodded his head. "Yes. She has been impatiently waiting."

"Go on dear," Renee spoke. "Don't keep her waiting. She in the kitchen."

I took a deep breath and headed to the kitchen. There, sitting at the table, was an old lady. I can't get her properly into my sight. Not all of her at least. I can see the collar of her blouse and her short white hair. Her hands spread out on the kitchen table and she taps her fingers. I take a seat next to her because standing is beyond me. After a few minutes, she reaches across the table and takes my hand. Her fingers cling to mine. Her hand is as warm and strong as they used to be.

She sighs. "Here you are, my child. Finally."


	23. Chapter 23

**Rosalie POV **

The house is quiet.

"Where has everyone gone?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure."

I watched her face and noticed that she wore the diamond earrings that I help Carlisle picked out for her last birthday that we spent together.

"Potatoes." She says.

I furrowed my brow. "Pardon?"

"We should be peeling potatoes for lunch." She replies.

"I don't want to let go of your hand."

Esme chuckles. "Honey, let's go do the potatoes so Evelyn doesn't have much to do. She, not the best chef. We can hold hands again afterward."

I followed her outside to the garden. The backyard was lovely and roses had been planted in circular beds. It was like a miniature woodland of holly trees and native shrubs, each of them trimmed as if they were green flames. I spotted the grandchildren running around the trees, screaming and chasing each other. Just like we did when I was little.

"Animals," Esme muttered.

"I think you said that about us," I told her.

"Well, you wouldn't leave those poor hens alone!"

I laughed. "How many potatoes shall I bring?"

"Lots!" She exclaims. "The boys constantly eat!"

I sighed. "My how hungry those boys always were."

"You were all hungry."

I don't think I would of mind the hunger if I could have stayed here. Lived with Esme forever. I picked up the potatoes, feeling her eyes on me.

"Such a pretty little thing. Scarlett showed me your collection."

I felt relieved for a moment. "It's my pride and joy besides my children."

"How many do you have?" She wondered.

"Five."

"And the husband?"

"Dead," I told her.

She looked surprised. "What a shame."

"I thought Carlisle was dead. I saw the grave." I explained.

Esme sighed a little. "He was ill for some time. He wasn't supposed to make it, but somehow he pulled through and we're very lucky to have him here."

"I'm very glad to hear that," I spoke.

"Esme where do you want the carrots?"

He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice. He had the kind of face that stopped you in your tracks. His curls were midnight black and his eyes were dark brown. He had prominent cheekbones and a well-defined chin. His perfect lips were made for kissing. His strong hands, slightly rough from working, reach out to me as he stared deep into my eyes.

I couldn't help but blush.

His body was warm and toned as he hugged me. "Rose! You're back!"

"Emmett! I've missed you!" I felt my heart begin to race.

His smile etched its way back into his face. "I've missed you more!"

Esme coughed. "You can put those by the stove, dear. Evelyn will take care of it."

"Yes, ma'am." Emmett pulled back and rubbed my cheek. "Maybe we can catch up later?"

I was speechless. "Y-yeah. I would like that."

He kissed the top of my head and then left. My head felt like it was spinning and I had butterflies in my stomach. I've never felt this way before especially with a man. What was it?

Esme laughed. "Men. They'll do that to you. Now come child."

We went back inside and washed the potatoes. I put the wet potatoes on the chopping board and Esme pared it with a knife. I started to peel the others and for a while, we remain quiet. We finish the potatoes a few minutes later and put them in the boil. I set the peelings in a dish for the hens before looking out of the window at the patch of garden.

"You said there you would be hens in New York," I spoke.

"Did I? When?" Esme asked.

I looked away. "The day before I left. I wanted to take a hen with me and you said there would be hens in America. But there weren't any. Aunt Gloria didn't like chickens."

I felt the tears dripping from my chin. She took my hand and lead me to the kitchen table. We were back to where we started. Sitting down. Hand in hand. I started to think of all those times she hugged me in bed. She would kneel by my bedside at night and whisper.

_My sweet girl. My darling child. _

It was difficult when I moved to New York. My cousins would tramp up the stairs and tell my aunt "goodnight Ma" and that was it. There were no kisses or cuddles. At times, I thought I would die without some type of affection.

"You know," I said to her. "I tried to tell myself that you loved me. But then sometimes I wish I never known you."

She nods her head. "You were so light. And precious. So precious. I remember trying to run off the bus but for some reason, you were hard to carry. You were dead asleep and that added a few extra pounds. I thought you were dead at first. But that was the day you came. When I found you at the back of the bus. Oh, Rose. I know exactly what you're talking about. There have been times when I wish I hadn't found you."

I sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It isn't why I came…"

"It's nothing." Her voice was dry. "Not compared to what I did to you."

I bit my bottom lip. "Do you remember Buttercup?"

"Oh, heavens." She started to smile. "I do."

I laugh unsteadily. "That poor rabbit. I dragged him all over the yard and dressed him up in my doll clothes."

"You wanted to feed him one last time," Esme said.

"I did but you told me nonsense. He would be fine."

"Would you like to feed them now?"

I frowned. "I do beg your pardon?"

"The rabbits." She pointed to the barn. "We have a dozen. After you left, Carlisle insisted that we needed to have rabbits around."

I shook my head. "Maybe later."

"Of course. How foolish of me."

"I would like to hear you about your life though."

Esme patted my hand. "There will be time for that later, dear. Please tell me about your father and the life you had once you left us."

I began to explain to her how daddy lost his money and regain it (thanks to the help from Royce's father). I also told her how they tricked me into marrying Royce and my life with him. But I also shared some of the happy memories. I pulled out pictures of me skiing in Colorado and swimming in the Pacific. I also had photographs taken at school. Prom. Graduation. I was top of my class and I was awarded a full ride to university. Esme had enjoyed the photo of me and daddy fishing in Michigan. I remember how cold it was that day. Nora refused to leave the lodge so I offered to go with daddy. I didn't want him to feel alone.

Esme grinned. "I'm glad that you were happy sometimes."

And maybe I was and I just didn't realize it.

"My darling, if I could have done anything-"

"You were so young Esme." I interrupted her. "Just a child raising a child."

She chuckled. "I was grown up. I had been grown up for so many years. I was married to the old man after all."

"Old man!" I burst into laughter. "My how in love you two were!"

"Still are." Esme corrected me. "You have to seize love. I did that with you. I love you so much and I never stop loving you."

I felt myself shake. "Why did you never write?"

"I didn't have a choice."

I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

"Your Aunt Gloria wrote to us one time and asked that we stop writing to you after you tried to run away." Esme sighed. "It wasn't easy Rose. Carlisle tried to call your father and when that failed he almost got on a ship and sailed to New York. However, I found out that I was pregnant with Evelyn and he couldn't leave me alone."

"That witch!" I growled.

Esme shook her head. "I shouldn't have listened. I read all the letters you sent me and it pained me to see you so unhappy. I just wanted to be there for you."

"It's not your fault!" I hissed. "That woman was nothing but an old hag! I kicked her many of times!"

"You haven't changed." Esme giggled.

"Renee taught me well."

"Renee taught you too much."

I couldn't believe it. Aunt Gloria had lied to me! And for what? I didn't feel any relief to have Esme out of my life. It was hell! She tore me away from the one person who cared about me! She better be glad that she died!

"I never stop loving you, Rosalie," Esme spoke. "Carlisle and I celebrated your birthday every year. We saved you a spot at the dinner table and left presents underneath the tree for you. Just in case you came back. We never wanted you to feel forgotten. You mean so much to us."

My eyes swelled up with tears. "And I never forgot about you. I love you both so dearly."

"And we love you."

She pulled me into her arms and held me while I cried. All those years lost. I could have stayed here! My childhood would have been perfect! But my father was so selfish! He wanted me for his own and for what? He wasn't a terrible parent. He just came and go as he pleased. He didn't need to have me in his life. And Aunt Gloria didn't either. They were nothing but selfish!

"There, there." Esme rubbed my back. "Its alright child. You're here now and I'm never letting you go ever again."

And I believed her this time.

Once I calmed down, I help Evelyn with dinner and I enjoyed getting to know my new sister. Alice and Bella help the set the dinner table and everyone crowded around. It was a little snug, but we made it work. We ate and shared stories. There was laughter and even a small food fight that Esme called off. It was perfect!

"It's really nice having you," Jasper said.

Emmett beam. "I hope you come back."

"Or stay forever." Carlisle teased.

I smiled. "As long as I'm welcome."

Renee dropped her fork. "Well of course!"

"This is your family, Rose," Esme told me. "You will always be welcome in our home."

I looked around the table and realized that Nora was right. I had been missing something but now I've found it.

My family.

And I was never letting go of them again…

**Author Note: Thank you to everyone for reading! I know I've taken some time to finish this story, but I hope you enjoy! :) I'm hoping to write some more **

**while I have the time! Your welcome to give any suggestions as well! Stay safe out there!**


End file.
